Someone suggested a joke thread............................

[Redbaron]

How many grammarians does it take to change a light bulb?

Too!

 

[Redbaron]

Why can’t the devil make cheese?


Because there’s no whey in hell.

 

[ninj]

All my friends have huge bucket lists,
but mine is a little pail in comparison.

 

[Luce NDs]

Bucket Lists must be restricted to the size of the hole in the ground of bean ... or it cannot be retrieved ... the option is the wrecking of the skull-place ... head blowing experience? Thus the pressure comes down.

Learning the set point may be troublesome ... even Jacobean ... as the thing is cranked up by particular appearances ... the options may be alien ...

 

[ninj]

Yesterday I ate a clock. It was time consuming.
Especially when I went back for seconds.

 

[Mendalla]

I once threw a clock out the window to see if time flies. (da dum)
It hit a neighbour and now I'm doing time. (da dum)

Hickory Dickory Dock
Two mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The other escaped
With minor injuries

 

[Redbaron]

True story

 

[Mendalla]

You know, that's a joke I feel should have heard, or come up with myself, a long time before now.

 

[Luce NDs]

Such jokes cause a hairy time for those without sentient nature about the acceptance of enigma of unresolvable screw up ... like the tragic comedy of love itself as a loss of all intelligence ... love is often pumped for this reason ... even in folk that deny logic and reason ...

Thus extensive paradox that may go on right over the horizon ...

 

[ninj]

 

[ninj]

My wife says I'm cheap, but I'm not buying it.

 

[ninj]

My Grandpa always said, "When one door closes, another door opens."
He was a lovely man, but a terrible cabinet maker.

 

[Redbaron]

I just found a great website for making homemade sausages.

Let me know if you want the link.

 

[ninj]

If you get a message from me about canned meat, don't open it. It's spam.

 

[ninj]

The man who fell into the upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

 

[Redbaron]

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd like to be eight again..." she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing there was.
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to the movies with popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size!!!!!!!"
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.

 

[Redbaron]

Did it ever occur to you that, even if a bear wore shoes and socks, it would still have bear feet?

 

[Redbaron]

 

[Luce NDs]

It is a kohl dark hole to say least! Big Bad John is said to be there ... headless because of the great powers!

Anything with head is displaced ... de posed! Leaves space for epi stem logical functions and dysfunction ... it all goes down in the mystical place ... where matter spreads ... allowing displacement! --- Archimedes!

All is covered well ... be careful you do not tumble in ... emotions may encourage the great leap intuit!

 

[Redbaron]

We should go metric, every inch of the way.