Someone suggested a joke thread............................

[ninj]

The Lego Store finally re-opens after Lockdown!
People are lining up for blocks.

 

[Luce NDs]

Glad you squared that off with certain circles of influence ... these would reduce the electorate to make powerful processes more efficient as laying there ... chicken-egg questions?

Irresolvable??? Of course as intended by one train of thought ... a wreck?

 

[ninj]

ME: "I think I might have ADHD because I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford.

THERAPIST: "That's not how ADHD works".

ME: "...But I'm always losing my Focus!"

 

[Luce NDs]

ME: "I think I might have ADHD because I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford.

THERAPIST: "That's not how ADHD works".

ME: "...But I'm always losing my Focus!"

That's how the dark hole grows where we might resurrect remnants of the past as archaic schemes ... like the Iron Road!

 

[Redbaron]

Someone on Facebook just posted that the ship stuck in the Suez Canal is blocking so much important stuff that they're going to rename it the USS Mitch McConnell.

 

[paradox3]

Q. Where do you go to learn how.to make ice cream?

A. Sundae school

 

[Mendalla]

Ah, The Beaverton. I think they may actually outdo The Onion nowadays.

Christ sees shadow, predicts 6 more weeks of Easter

JERUSALEM - After spending three days sheltered in his underground tomb, Jesus Christ, Our Lord in Heaven, saw His shadow, which means six more weeks of Easter.

www.thebeaverton.com

 

[ninj]

 

[ninj]

A duck walks into a bar...

"Got any bread?"
"No."
"Got any bread?"
"No."
"Got any bread?"
"No."
"Got any bread?"
"No, and if you ask me again, I'll nail your beak to to bar!"
"Got any nails?"
"No."

"Got any bread?"

 

[paradox3]

Q. Why did the dog get a ticket for giving birth on the street?

A. Because she was littering.

 

[Redbaron]

A mother skunk once gave birth to identical twin baby skunks. In a moment of whimsey, she named them 'In' and 'Out.' Someone asked her how she could tell them apart? "Simple," she replied, "In stinks."

 

[ninj]

A Perfectionist walked into a bar.
It wasn't high enough.

 

[Redbaron]

If I had a nickel for every time I didn't know what was going on, I'd be like, "Hey, why am I getting all these nickels?"

 

[You just never know]

I bought an Impressionist painting of some flowers, but when I got home the cat scratched it. Now I'm trying to sell it as a Clawed Monet.

 

[ninj]

I phoned my wife earlier and asked her if she wanted me to pick up fish and chips on my way home from work, but she just grunted at me.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

 

[Redbaron]

Procrastination is actually a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you don't have to do anything today.

 

[paradox3]

Q. Why was the ape reading the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species?

A. He wanted to figure out if he was his brother's keeper or his keeper's brother.

 

[Mendalla]

Q. Why was the ape reading the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species?

A. He wanted to figure out if he was his brother's keeper or his keeper's brother.

Ape approves.

 

[paradox3]

Q. What is the ape's favorite cookie?

A. Chocolate chimp

 

[paradox3]

Q. How many Sunday school teachers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. At least two. One to change the lightbulb and one to talk about how many lightbulbs we had in the 1960's.