There was once a young man named Benny. While hiking in the deep woods one day, he stumbled across and odd looking brass container.
When he rubbed it to remove some of the dirt that was on it, a cloud like vapor emerged from the top which then took the shape of a genie.
Benny stepped back, dropping the container, and was prepared to run when the genie said "Please, don't leave. I have been imprisoned in this container for centuries and you have freed me. I am in your debt and will grant you three wishes."
"Well," said Benny, "can I have a fabulous mansion overlooking the ocean."
"Yes," said the genie.
"And wealth," said Benny, "I would like great wealth. Is that possible?"
"Of course," said the genie.
"And can I meet a wonderful woman to share all this with."
"This can be arranged," said the genie. "All of these things will be done for you, but to bind our agreement you must agree to let your beard grow, never shaving again.
"I've always hated shaving anyway," said Benny. "It's a deal."
Benny left the woods and returned home and in short order all of the things the genie promised were his.
Decades later, Benny was a rich and successful man, living in a beautiful mansion with a wonderful wife, with a beard that touched his ankles.
He awoke one morning with an itchy face, a frequent occurrence due to the beard. As he looked in the bathroom mirror he found himself thinking that he was really tired of all the rashes and itchiness and would really like to get rid of the beard. He thought about the genie, for a second, but he hadn't seen that entity in more than 50 years. Surely, enough was enough.
In this frame of mind, Benny cut his beard off at the chin and begin to shave his face. Suddenly, there was a muffled explosion and a flash of blue light. When it subsided, there was an urn in the middle of the bathroom floor. It contained Benny's ashes.
The moral of this story should be obvious: a Benny shaved, is a Benny urned.
