Phases of Life

[paradox3]

How do you think about the phases of Life?

Are they based on chronological age? Traditionally we think of infancy and childhood, young adulthood, middle age and (ahem) old age. We have euphemisms for old age though . . . the golden years, the senior years, etc.

There was a theory floating around a few years ago about the four quarters of life. I knew someone at church who always talked about being in Q4.

I am probably on the cusp of Q3 and Q4 myself. I am also retired from my career and no longer have my parents in this life. I was just talking yesterday to someone who noted we have no word in our language for an adult whose parents have passed away. For a child we have the concept of "orphan".

Sometimes there are major markers such as health issues, relocation, accidents and so on.

How do you think of the phases of Life?

 

[Luce NDs]

Djinn etic of tellurones? Said to be the terminal of genetic transfer devices metaphor to thos plastic things on the end of shoelaces ... going out of style as few know how to fasten a shoe anymore or tell time in the round ... it has to be integer das digital ... as intellect is dis[laced by anonymity ... it s tuff what we don't know! Oz sum ... zero sum theory ...

We know virtually little ... but fitted with a great power of denial for reason beyond us as epi-C Urus! There the teacher and healer underfoot ... directional misinformation for presenting ways to process ... further? Thus the denied and displaced due to human fault and fallacy! However you can't teach M utch ... Munchenburg Syndrome! Practically an unknown ... as we ignore the sic ... to be precise ... write a precis ... sometimes an abstract!

 

[paradox3]

Your response does not appear to be related to the OP in any way I can see @Luce NDs
Would be happy to engage in conversation if you would like to stay on topic.

 

[Luce NDs]

Is obtuse the metaphor of nebulous cloud for those wishing to dispose of the topic ... no words defined adequately?
Thus I move on from my provision of what I learned from biochemistry on chiral matters and psychology! It may be a neural immunological reaction ... mental histones ...

The 2 verses right after Exodus 20' famous 10's refers to the dark cloud! Poor smoker ... without Eire smoldering there ... tantalizing icons ... eternally open organs? T' wends ...

 

[paradox3]

Back to the phases of Life.

For me there has been school, career, retirement.

Childhood home, apartments, our present home

There has been single life and married life. Inevitably one of us will face widowhood in the future which is a very sad thought.

So far the really defining events seem to be the births of children and losing my parents & inlaws.

 

[paradox3]

Church life, too, I guess.
Childhood church. No church for about 25 years. Then a return to the denomination of my early days

 

[Redbaron]

Yes, many phases for many areas of life...
Church: from unquestioning believer, to questioning everything, to questing follower.
Life: Preschool , to formal education (c. 20 years) to informal learning (ongoing)
Moves: 18 years in home of birth, 7 years in dorm rooms, 4 years moving several times (with first wife) 30 years alternating between manses and apartments, as church housing situation dictated.
Career: 3 years in American denominational settings, a few years in flux (outside of church employment), move to another country, 3 decades in church employment.
Youth, adolescence, young adulthood, middle adulthood, teetering on edge of retirement age. After that, God only knows...

 

[Luce NDs]

Yes, many phases for many areas of life...
Church: from unquestioning believer, to questioning everything, to questing follower.
Life: Preschool , to formal education (c. 20 years) to informal learning (ongoing)
Moves: 18 years in home of birth, 7 years in dorm rooms, 4 years moving several times (with first wife) 30 years alternating between manses and apartments, as church housing situation dictated.
Career: 3 years in American denominational settings, a few years in flux (outside of church employment), move to another country, 3 decades in church employment.
Youth, adolescence, young adulthood, middle adulthood, teetering on edge of retirement age. After that, God only knows...

Uncertainty Theology ... as believing that a great bit is unknown! Next stage ... stagecoach ... urge to get the next phase towards better intelligence? Its got to be out there somewhere ... on recall!

 

[wrdwrytr]

I used to think of the ages as childhood, teenage years, adulthood, middle and old age. My life followed along like that until I finished high school. I'd had enough of school and decided to work instead of further studies. I got a job, found an apartment and moved out on my own at 18. I learned quite a lot in that time. A few years later, got married and moved to a small town. Went back and took a business course and began working. We were saving to buy a house, commuting to the city every day. Then life took a major left turn. One of my parents was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Five months later, dad was gone. A few months later, mom was diagnosed with the same cancer. She died the day before Mother's Day. Suddenly at 29, I was an orphan. As the only child of parents who were not very old and didn't expect to die, I had to look after the estate. That meant all the financial work as well as clearing out and selling the house. I felt very old and vulnerable at that point. Somehow got through it all. Eventually bought our own house. I took a year off work to take stock of my life and come to terms with it all. A few years later, our son was born. When he began school, I went back to work part time. I was at that job for almost 30 years. I'm retired now and in the latter quarter of life. I think I've gained a bit of wisdom along the way as well as being more compassionate. I've been fortunate to have a wonderful family, good friends, time to give back, and many interests to keep me occupied. I don't really think of myself as old since I don't feel that way. I think of it as being 'refined', burning all the extraneous bits away. What's left is the good stuff (at least I hope so!).

 

[paradox3]

Thanks for jumping onto this thread @wrdwrytr
We haven't seen a lot of you around here but I recall you joining the site a while back.
Good to hear your story, too. It really points out how individual these phases of life can be

 

[Mendalla]

I actually think a lot is based on personal and cultural touchpoints so there is likely some variation between societies and even individuals in societies.

And not sure there is a fixed number, either. And perhaps they overlap or some are offshoots of others. So becoming a parent is an offshoot of couplehood. Or maybe having babies moves you from couple phase to family phase.

There are so many moments, I am not sure which define phases of my life as a whole and which define phases of parts or aspects of it. So my career shifted significantly about 15 years ago when I started having staff reporting to me, but that's a phase in my career rather than a phase in life, I think. And, of course, there was my shift from liberal Christian to UU to whatever I am right now (still kind of, sort of UU but not actively).

So mine might look like:

Childhood & School
Moving out and Masters degree
First Career & Marriage (happened more or less in parallel)
Second Career & Family (ditto)
Retirement (coming soon to a theater near you)
Grandparenthood (maybe some day)

But, as I said, then there were a couple changes within Second Career & Family that could denote additional phases or sub-phases, like becoming a leader at work (I used to be a one-man show, now have 5 staff reporting to me) and my son moving out and starting his own independent life.

And that doesn't even touch on my religious evolution, which kind of happened across all of those and is still happening in some regards. Not sure any of that really defines "phases" other than my change from liberal/progressive Christianity to UU. And even that change was kind of evolutionary, starting in First Career & Marriage and coming to fruition early in Second Career & Family when I actually joined a UU church for the first time. And right now, while I still regard myself as UU in spirit, I am not formally a member of a UU church.

Or maybe I overthink this stuff.

 

[paradox3]

Been thinking maybe to look at the lifespan in thirds rather than quarters. Kind of fits for me. But it all depends on when we hit certain milestones, I think

 

[Carolla]

I have heard the 'old age' or post retirement phase of living described in three segments as 'go go; go slow; no go' - depicting activity levels of each. Also sometimes the "old old" were distringuised from the "young old" folks.

I do remember being shocked when I heard myself refered to as an "elderly primipara" - ie older than expected for first pregnancy!

 

[paradox3]

Funny thing with retirement is so many people ask us if we are " busier than ever". I think the initial "go go" phase is like this for many folks. I have also heard it described as the "pseudo work" phase.

We didn't really experience this although a LOT happened in the first several years of retirement. Weddings for our kids. A grandchild. The declining health and deaths of our four parents.

Go slow is the the name of the game these days and I am okay with that. Enjoying this pace of life but starting to wonder if there is more I want to accomplish at this stage. Travel? More church involvement? I dunno.

 

[Mendalla]

Of course, there's the people who never quite get to "no go". My neighbor is in his eighties and still doing some of his own yardwork. Seems to be easing off now but that may be due to his wife fading and needing more attention and care moreso than his abilities.

 

[paradox3]

Isn't it wonderful when a person never reaches No Go???

Queen Elizabeth comes to mind.

 

[BetteTheRed]

Oh, there's lots of people who never get to "no go". The most Energizer Bunny-like of them are often, of my acquaintance, farm women. There's a lovely woman who is my partner-in-crime for the yearly plant sale. She's 20 years my senior, if she's a day, and she can run circles around me. It's very embarassing.

 

[BetteTheRed]

I sometimes think of my life as two stages: preparation for Life, Life. I have slowed down over the years, in that I worked 35-40 hours a week most of my adult life, but then in my fifties, in preparation for an early retirement from my employer, I reduced my hours to 28/wk. Now I'm post-retirement, I work a max of 15 hours a week as a cashier in a grocery store, which I can't see myself entirely giving up any time in the future, although I'd think of scaling back to one, max two shifts a week when I get into my seventies, I think.

I'd say that my spiritual life has been very off and on. Very fundamentalist Lutheran from age 4 to age 14 (and quite active for a child/young person), then strict atheist until my late 30s, when I joined a fairly liberal congregation of the UCC. I still don't believe in any sort of god that would be very recognizable by most Christians, but my congregation is my spiritual family. And I'm quite/very active, but not noticeably moreso since I retired, although I now socialize with my church family more than I used to, largely because I can find a whole afternoon to spend on a deck drinking tea that I'd never have found when employed full time/looking after kids/looking after my Mom.

My family life has gone from very, very busy to very little. For a few years, I had both my kids at home (plus often kids they knew sleeping on the floor and eating with us), my sister and her guy lived with me, and I was looking after Mom. There were also a metric ton of cats living with us (five, to be exact). Now, I've outlived two men, and there's just me, and an elderly dog, here. I have a very pleasant, but pleasantly distanced boarder, who has a self-contained unit in the basement (used to be my bed-sitting room). Of my two kids, one lives at the extreme western edge of the country, and the other is a very busy young woman with a boyfriend and three jobs, so I see her rarely.

Another stage that I'm reaching is that of trying to declutter myself so that the house is easier to manage, and I don't have to worry about getting it ready to sell. It's a mountain. I'm scaling it at the speed of a snail.

 

[ChemGal]

Definitely lots of individualization. Some people meet aged telomeres, ends of DNA that Luce brought up. I think of 3 of my grandparents outliving Chemguy's mom, I had weeks where I and pretty sure a few doctors didn't think I would make it to 40. I have known a number of students in their late 20s and 30s. My life was on pause for a while after the HAE diagnosis. I didn't get a job post school until I was in my mid 30s. There are a number of milestones that can be expected that many people don't do, graduation, moving out, getting married, having kids.

Then there are similarities as long as people are still alive and functioning well enough to go through development changes- infancy, toddler, childhood, puberty, adulthood to brain maturity around mid 20s and then physically things start declining.

 

[Luce NDs]

Imagine the go, go, no go stage ...

I was at the peak of value regarding knowledge and experience when packaged off ... the Career Councillors were enigmatic about this and questioned why they were seeing folk like me being terminated!

Imagine that "powers that be" are counter to such folk as they are a critical threat. This is the destructive terminal of physicality stages ... after that all there is ... memes ... bits of information? Who created this struggle, conflict, etc. Angels or demons ... may explain the blanched enigma, even Ahab's search for the white monster ... this rattles some fixed theories in literature ... and then the trope pops ...