Do you think she persuaded Jesus to change his mind? As his ministry expands to include a Gentile woman, is Jesus growing in wisdom and self-awareness?
No. I don't.
As others have pointed out Jesus does not refuse her. He does share priorities. The language employed is abrasive. I don't think we should read into scripture because of that. I do think we should allow scripture to read us at that moment. Because I think our response to the exchange should be prompting us to do some further reflection on who we are and what we are about.
Dog is rarely ever used as a term of endearment.
I love dogs, I don't use the term as one of affection. I don't call my beloved puppy or pooch or whatever. I don't whistle, snap fingers or pat thigh at her. She knows how much I love my dogs. She would not be thrilled to be compared to one. Nor would the kids. Qball pretends he is a dog from time to time so part of the game is treating him like one. When he isn't pretending he gets upset at that game.
And yet, the exchange doesn't tell us anything of tone. It doesn't tell us that both Jesus and the woman were both smiling or not. All of that belongs to our imagination and it is the text pulling the strings.
Jesus introduces the term dog.
She doesn't chafe at the term, certainly the text doesn't make it obvious that she was offended. She plays along making an appeal to grace.
She'd be happy for just a crumb and we are indignant on her behalf. Though nothing in the text tells us she was offended. She has come for help and she is not going to leave until she gets it. Jesus is busy feeding the kids. She is not asking for an equal portion, she isn't demanding to be seated at the table. She does ask for a crumb. A speck of insignificant proportion, something those at the table will brush aside rather than pick it up and place it back on their own plate. Why wouldn't they? Because they are content with their abundance.
Dogs, I have noticed, have different reactions to crumbs. Most notice them fall and most will cross a room to inspect them. If they sit closer to the table they might get impatient as the meal wears on and nothing is dropped. I had one dog that was so attentive that nothing falling from the table hit the floor and we might not have noticed something had fallen until the snap of jaws alerted us to the fact that a morsel was no more. We also had a dog that snuck a piece of pizza off of a plate while we were all seated at the table and nobody noticed until she started running off with it.
And while all the crumbs swept off the table couldn't combine to form one tiny piece of dry dog food the tail wags, and lips are licked and the face turns up hoping for more.
When we aren't at the table dogs don't constantly moan for food. Whenever you go into the fridge or turn on the hockey game they are conditioned to know that a goody might drop.
I've had dogs more appreciative of burnt toast crumbs than kids were appreciative of the meal that took hours to prepare.
Is the point of the text to tell us that Jesus learned a valuable lesson.
or,
Is the point of the text to teach us one?
Not mutually exclusive aims though I think the second is always a priority.
So what do we learn?
Some of the things I have learned are:
Whether I think of people in terms of children or dogs all are looking to God to be fed.
All looking to be fed will be happy with various amounts, some require a full portion and some are happy with much less.
None around the table and none under the table are denied.
Even the skintest bit of God's grace can lead to substantive change.
Sometimes Jesus uses language to deliberately get our attention.