Living with adult children

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Never charged my adult children room & board but I agree with the concept. We had similar family "rules" however - - calling if you would be late, buying your own shampoo if you didn't like the one in the bathroom, and so on.
 
When my eldest son went to college he and his wife had been married for 5 years already. She had graduated from Laurier (valedictorian) and later decided she wanted to return to college to get her teaching degree. By that time they had two children and had been somewhat struggling independently due to her student loans.
Although my daughter in law had her choice of teachers college, my son was going to Niagara College for Web design. She decided to attend Brock in order to not have a commute.
Not being able to help with their tuition, we bought a little fixer upper for $60,000 in Welland, put $15,000 into it using some equity from our home. The mortgage was $250 and that's all I charged them for rent. They retained their independence and the equity grew by the time they both graduated. (Niagara area and Windsor area probably rare in that you can actually find something that cheap) Still can to a certain extent.

The other thing I would suggest if they are staying at home, is to provide a "continental" breakfast, lunches, supper. You provide bagels, cream cheese, meats, croissants, bread, etc.....and they make their own when they "arrive" or decide to eat. Many kids have survived on KD during college years....throw a bunch in the cupboard for them to make.

I would just be honest...."look, I love you all here, BUT I am struggling financially and we all need to pitch in and what I will provide will not be gourmet meals"

Also, why is her family not contributing with groceries or something?
 
Pinga said:
I have a sense some is family patterns. I never paid board. My oldest brothers did when working full time but given back to them when they moved out, having all been saved by my mom.

Interesting conversation
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Same, but I was in school. There is no way a non-family member would be living with me either, unless there was a very special circumstance. I suspect if I was working and charged rent, some of that would have been returned to me but it was never really discussed.
 
my house rules are over 18 and not in school you pay rent $400 month and that includes use of laundry-you do your own and groceries. I cokked sometimes but not everynight.
If you are in school fulltime-no rent was paid
1/2 time school = half rent

Mrs. Anteater How about negotiating with the 2 young people that everyone cooks once a\ week? These are the skills you want them to have when they leave. so Monday you cook, Tues the mechanic cooks and wed. his girlfriend cooks. You may need to do lessons and menus for the first little while.

and yes $400 for the both of them is more than reasonable.
 
I tend to think that it is better to overcharge than under charge. Your bills need to be paid and the younger generation should help with that. Also, I believe we aren't doing the younger generation any favour at all by letting them think being adult and handling money wisely is easy. If you overcharge you have the option of saving that portion to return to them later.
 
Tabitha said:
my house rules are over 18 and not in school you pay rent $400 month and that includes use of laundry-you do your own and groceries. I cokked sometimes but not everynight.
If you are in school fulltime-no rent was paid
1/2 time school = half rent

Mrs. Anteater How about negotiating with the 2 young people that everyone cooks once a\ week? These are the skills you want them to have when they leave. so Monday you cook, Tues the mechanic cooks and wed. his girlfriend cooks. You may need to do lessons and menus for the first little while.

and yes $400 for the both of them is more than reasonable.
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Say, I like those rules. If my mom had those rules I'd be paying no rent :)
 
As a student; do some people not learn anything as they preserved their soul ... this the pickle the world is in?

If not used is the pickled mystery lost?
 
I see Bethanne and Jae are silent on this thread so far. They are both adults living with their mother in the mothers house. Their perspective would be informative.
 
Tabitha said:
I see Bethanne and Jae are silent on this thread so far. They are both adults living with their mother in the mothers house. Their perspective would be informative.
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Thank you Tabitha. However, do you have me on "ignore"? I actually commented on posts number 8, 13, 20, and (responding to you yourself) 26 of this thread. I agree that BethAnne's perspective would be valuable here.
 
Absolutely. I'm just about to embark on this a bit more permanently. My daughter has moved in and out a few times between places, paying me rent each time, and living in my yoga room. I'm now proposing to rent my self-contained basement unit (in which I normally have a boarder, but the last two were so beyond awful that I've been boarder-less since May) to her and her long-term boyfriend. I'm expecting more or less market rent from them with a slight reduction for snow-clearing.

We've talked about a bunch of stuff up front, and we're going to make up a room-mate agreement, but I know from my own experience in living with my own Mom in her advanced years (from a couple of years after she was widowed until her health necessitated her living in a nursing home) that there are pitfalls.
 
I do agree, it depends how it was handled in your own family.
Girl friends dad lives around the corner. He is an electrician. I am hoping (and hinting) that he will come around to fix two of my outlets. (Kinda "rent- substitution"). The weather was too nice so far (he is a biker), I am hoping for next weekend.

Whe I bought my place I had somewhat planned to have a boarder to pay the mortgage down faster, which will have a significant influence on when I can retire. That's thoughts young people can not imagine.
 
Do some adults remain children all their life ... with great potential for learning but "no-go" sort of like theos regarding the potential of going on in the field of wisdom ? It is an extensive field ...
 
Yes chem gal. A conversation withthe two kids. Bu t it sounds like she has a near by parent who can contribut to some osts
 
My thoughts include - deal with the situation with those involved, rather than their parents. If the girlfriend thinks she is sufficiently adult to live away from home then she should be sufficiently adult to pay her way - and understand why this has to happen. It is perfectly reasonable that you dream of paying down your mortgage so you can retire. The young folks need to hear about this - it is a part of adult life.

I wonder if her parents actually know that she is living free in your house? One of mine left home very early and moved into a boyfriends bedroom at his parental home. She had always been told that we would accept responsibility for her basic expenses while she lived with us and attended school. She wasn't living with us, she wasn't attending school regularly and so we assumed she had made some sort of equitable arrangement to live elsewhere.
 
Thus the flighty are off ...

Emotions are like that ... they come and go ... hopefully some decent sense settles in betwixt and be tweens ... thus continuum as uneducated people learn of isolated sects!

Some fundamentalists can't see either ... love of knowledge, or knowledge of love ... when the two are separated by fear, or anger ... emotions that destabilize sanity!

But for god's ache don't mention it ...
 
Sorry Jae I had missed t#20 where you say your mom reluctantly accepted rent from you.
Is that still the case? My impression from your last post commented were that she wanted to raise the rent.
Perhaps you could also share how you work meals and chores?
 
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