Household Complaint Department

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One note: When we are cleaning up cat urine or dog urine, it is really important to wash the sheets or towels used, due to the smell that sets in.
I may not need them right away, so they do sit sometimes on my dryer before putting away.
The importance is to wash the smell of urine out of the fabric.

(just noting that there may have been an urgency in washing, but, not getting)
 
Pinga said:
One note: When we are cleaning up cat urine or dog urine, it is really important to wash the sheets or towels used, due to the smell that sets in.
I may not need them right away, so they do sit sometimes on my dryer before putting away.
The importance is to wash the smell of urine out of the fabric.

(just noting that there may have been an urgency in washing, but, not getting)
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Yeah. It was still disrespectful to say it was urgent, then to just leave it. Because...leaving it overnight for 12 hours at least, causes it to smell anyway then it needs a run-through again. Which requires more interruption.

one can wash the pee spot out with just about any soap or detergent and water, by hand - and/ or leave some colour safe stain remover on it - and let it wait to put in the washer.
 
I lived with two of my friend between 18 and 24- ir was fun. Add to it the different boy friends visiting. It can be a way of saving money, coming home and being invited to an already cooked meal, hanging outtogether in the kitchen and laughing your head off. One of my friends used to cook a lot of soups with cabbage, which annoyed us quite a bit, but it worked out. I am often wondering if it was the age that helped cutting each other more slack. And with having lived alone for many years, maybe we get too set in our ways. Or we are getting less flexible with age. I would love to have that kind of friendship- sharing living arrangements again. I don’t know if I could, though.
 
hmmm, having had cat pee on large fabrics, washing in a laundry machine is preferred to spot washing.
In addition, i get the bit about the stuff sitting in a washer getting a musky smell. That tends to be easier to wash out.
It is disrespectful to leave clothes in a washer when others are sharing it.
 
Kimmio, wondering if there is anyway to reconfigure the layout so they can access the washer without bothering you?
 
Pinga said:
hmmm, having had cat pee on large fabrics, washing in a laundry machine is preferred to spot washing.
In addition, i get the bit about the stuff sitting in a washer getting a musky smell. That tends to be easier to wash out.
It is disrespectful to leave clothes in a washer when others are sharing it.
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Thing is Pinga... Her mom on her behalf (of a 20 yr old) said was last minute urgent, in the evening, when I was relaxed on the couch. I said ok. I didn’t complain. I was flexible. Her daughter came in with no mask on. They said her bedding was peed on - assumed she needed it on her bed before bedtime. (There was only one small throw blanket...the rest was a big load of clothing.) Then she didn’t bother to put it in the dryer. I got out of the way, stayed in my room, and told her she didn’t need to knock to come back in and finish it...I’ll stay in my room (because of covid I want to be out of the way), just come in. I was generous. She didn’t bother to finish it. In order to not prolong her musty stuff sitting in there, and so I could do my laundry on my day, I ran it through again. And I dried it, and I took out a couple of items that can’t go in the dryer. A sweater and some fake leather pants. They knew I did this. I told them I did. Then they left it there beyond their next laundry day. And it’s not the first time. This sort of thing happens often. I washed the daughters clothes twice a week or two before that because she forgot. If I didn’t, they’d ask last minute on an off day and be in my space whenever they happened to think of it. They think nothing this. I find that really rude, at best. An invasion of privacy and quiet enjoyment at worst.

I have been the generous one with my personal space and time and privacy - even covid risk - always giving them the benefit of the doubt, or the benefit of their own disregard. They have taken it for granted.
 
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Lastpointe said:
I find it quite appalling. I feel like they are trying to make things so bad you will leave.
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She’s always creating drama then blaming it on someone else when she gets drama. I think she likes to.

...they are used to having young international students who won’t say anything. They treat all their tenants this way. I’m the first to stand up to it. If they want me to leave, it’s because the daughter wants to move in with her friend for free and have the friend pay the amount I’m paying, and party. But there are rules about evicting someone for a close relative like a daughter to move in, and I shouldn’t be denied basic rights. They exist for a reason. It’s so people in less privileged circumstances don’t get pushed out by nepotism. Why should I be denied the most basic rights for their convenience?

Or she wants another naive person again, and to charge sky-high rent for an unfinished not up to code basement suite. To throw students together and ignore covid risks. But i live here now, I’m experienced in life and renting, I’m smarter and/ or wiser to this than they’re used to....so it’s not as convenient for them to have to learn common courtesy.
 
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BetteTheRed said:
Not quite, dear Kimmio. At present, you have the conflict, because it's apparently not bothering them at all. :(
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I told her I won’t talk to her in person without an outside third party mediator (I want a witness - am beyond trusting her at the moment). If she has something to say she can text me. I’m treating her in an all business landlord tenant fashion unless they get it together and respect my tenant rights. If she thinks I’m being too righteous, it’s because she’s used to ignoring the rules.
 
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Good for you for sticking up for yourself and knowing the laws. I am sure she wants you to go either for the daughter or a more gullible renter

its tough when they are family but in writing is safer for sure. Put it all in a folder so you have it if needed

maybe the upcoming better weather will improve her mood
 
As for family... She’s my stepbrother’s second wife. I didn’t know her as well when I moved in but I know his first wife wouldn’t have behaved like this. I was at their (first marriage) wedding when I was 14 and was around when his kids were little. His ex is a kind woman with a good head on her shoulders. The family was sad about their divorce. Their kids turned out to be respectful, mature, independent...they’re pretty much perfect. I’ve tried to be friendly and casual with this sil but something is disordered. It‘s hard to get close to someone who keeps thinking, it seems, of how she can sweetly bump you out of the way for more money. Like, I’ve felt that from her for a long time, for no reason I could put my finger on. Something that rubs me the wrong way. One day when my roommate thought I put her fruit in the freezer, and it wasn’t me so I asked this if she knew anything about it...she said it was probably the fairies who live in the house that must’ve done it. Another time she came in at 7 am and I was asleep on the couch. I fell asleep watching movies that night. She came in and startled me... said she accidentally picked up some of my underwear so she was just going to sneak it back into the laundry room. Thing is (i should clarify that I don’t think there was anything untoward about her accidentally picking up a couple of my items), if I accidentally pick up something of theirs I leave it in a bag on the outside of the door. She shouldn’t be sneaking in. So it has to be all business with her.
 
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Pinga said:
did you have a written contract or agreement when you moved in?
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Nope. They didn’t produce a proper residential tenancy rental agreement. I didn’t sign what they asked me to because I didn’t agree with the “the landlord can come in anytime if they knock and wait a few seconds” entry expectation. I didn’t want her to try to hold me to anything that screws me out of my rights (I had my guard up from day one I guess) ... I told them so, from the very beginning I was opposed to that requirement...and they said it’s okay we could work out a schedule...which took months of me pleading after I moved in. But it doesn’t matter. Rental agreements under the law go into effect with payment of rent - I have proof of payment to her - even if no contract is signed, with basic rental agreement standards applied in official disputes. Tenants have automatic rights and responsibilities regardless because landlords too often try to go around the rules. Landlords also have automatic rights and responsibilities.


Actually, the copy they showed me was a previous tenant’s. They didn’t give me a copy to sign. It didn’t look right to me, and I just told them i wanted a laundry schedule and they said we’d work it out.
 
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My responsibilities to her are are to pay on time, and not damage the place beyond normal wear and tear, not smoke inside or on the property or let any guests do so, and to mind noise levels after 10:30 or 11 and to not have guests stay longer than a certain time...a few weeks according to the law I think. But their ad hock agreement said a few days. I’ve never had any guests stay here. Noise means parties and loud music or loud TV, not quiet fans. It doesn’t mean speaking in a quiet voice on the phone, away from bedrooms after hours, either. I have not broken any of those rules.
 
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I don’t want to discuss it anymore. It makes me feel sick. Everything feels like a subtle but cumulative threat to my life these days...I mean to live, not just to be content. And no I’m not suicidal, I am stuck. It’s horrible. These are serious problems that add up...I’m all too aware of it. I vented enough and she’s probably reading it. I’m just going to take things one day at a time.
 
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