Household Complaint Department

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Kimmio Laughterlove said:
Do you have roommates?
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I have had roommates, and remain open to the idea. A couple of previous experiences -- one awful and one awesome for the most part. I had a suite...I gave up my car when I retired, which has affected my choice of location. I need transit, but not parking.
I live in public housing but it's not safe -- drug-related everything..
 
That’s my fear of public housing these days, too. I've heard it’s particularly not good here. When I’m 55 there’ll be more, better options, but that’s not for many (well, not that many anymore) years still. There are some nice low income 55+ buildings here (condo/ apartment buildings).
 
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BetteTheRed said:
@Pinga I'm afraid you have no idea...
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I'm presuming this has to do with purging. We had 30 years in our house, and to say the walk up attic was a nightmare is an understatement. My husband does not like to get rid of things. I'd say "no i don't want it" - he would put it in the attic. Part of the reason our previous house is still in our possession is the effort / energy it has taken / continues to take to purge it. Trying not to let the same thing happen here.
 
59 years here, and although only one family, many bits of it, and many arrivings and leavings. And when they leave, they don't leave. I have 60 years of other people's crap.
 
Looking at the space I am in right now, most of the books, and all of the art, are mine. Aside from that, in living room/dining room/kitchen, exactly one kitchen chair, one leather hassock, and one coffee table, are mine.
 
hey, how about we start a thread on purging? challenges of stuff?
Just realizing i have taken this thread off topic..and it's more aobut living with folks and finding acoomodation
 
Pinga said:
I'm presuming this has to do with purging. We had 30 years in our house, and to say the walk up attic was a nightmare is an understatement. My husband does not like to get rid of things. I'd say "no i don't want it" - he would put it in the attic. Part of the reason our previous house is still in our possession is the effort / energy it has taken / continues to take to purge it. Trying not to let the same thing happen here.
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I too have a messy, packrat man in my life. I started life with him understanding that 'fairness' would be needed. He had stuff and I had stuff and we should not interfere in each others stash. The pleasure in that rapidly waned.
When he finished university we moved to a small town. He insisted that all six big boxes of notes, diagrams etc. had to go with us. He didn't use any of it during that year. Then we moved again and NO we couldn't throw out his university stuff. We stashed it in the attic, where it resided until we were moving to the acreage. His boxes had to go with us. One day when trying to find a storage spot for the kids out of season clothes I eyed his boxes and bit by bit conveyed them to the legal burning barrel.
He never missed them!
 
We had a room in our basement with no real use. It became an extra storage room, ikea shelves, tons of boxes. Everything got dumped there. When we moved it was a nightmare. It I think everyone is like that. You put things aside because you hate to throw it out, or it was a gift, or you never know you might need it......... I have discovered if you don’t have room to store things, you don’t And that’s a good thing

we have tons in our barn. Our stuff, grandparents stuff, kids stuff. Every spring we take more to the thrift shops. Unfortunately this year I gave away our snow shoes. now I wish I had them!

one thing we have stashed away is our old bedroom furniture and old office desk. All are great pieces. None are going to be used by anyone, ever. I know that. So this year, once spring comes it goes. I am hopeful Habitat will take the furniture as I think the thrift shops only takes smaller pieces. but it has to go. We also have an old free standing wine cellar. (We have a built in one in the house.). I store garlic and onions in this massive piece of furniture. It goes in the spring too
 
My sister kept all the books from our Nana's house, all the books from our mum's house, all the books acquired on her way through life and child raising. There were books under the beds, the dining room table that was never used and in piles in closets. In addition there were ornaments, nick nacks, vases and sundry 'treasures'.
I offered to help her clear some of it out. She said she couldn't toss them out because they weren't hers. I confess - I laughed. I wondered if she was thinking mum might come back and spank her or something.
When she died one son collected all the books that had value - some published in the 1800's. Two sons wanted nothing to do with sorting and disposing of their mum's stuff. Needless to say, it had to be done before the house was sold so the only daughter did it.
This situation bothered me enough that I have my personal, and most of the household items reasonably under control.
My bloke's stuff is what clutters the house. Double garage is his workshop. Much of the house is of course legitimate 'shared' space like kitchen and bathrooms. I have one small bedroom plus half the bedroom closet. He has every other closet and a full basement loaded with stuff. I have warned my sons that I will be looking to them to deal with it!
 
I reminded them it was their laundry day yesterday, before I went out. I let my sb know. I guess they didn’t have any to do. Or maybe they were in and out. I don’t know. But the daughter’s urgently needed clean load, that I washed a second time and dried, is still sitting on top, from 5 days ago. I don’t care if it sits there as long as I’m not interrupted by them coming in to get it. And they don’t like to remember masks either. They could’ve done that yesterday while I was out. Just saying it wasn’t actually urgent, obviously. That’s where respect is missing. I’m not a doormat. If the situation were reversed and I had to walk into their living space, I’d be getting my laundry done asap, making sure first that I wasn’t barging in on their quiet time or bath time, or movie time, or dinner or whatever...I wouldn’t barge in on their time and privacy ... then timing the wash and dryer (wash takes about 30 minutes on average and a full load usually takes a whole hour to dry...they know this)...washing my hands first and putting on my mask - setting an alarm and/ or calendar reminders if I needed to - and collecting it right away, and getting out of their way. That seems like common courtesy to me. They’re home almost all the time. There’s no reason they can’t pay attention to their own laundry. It’s not like they’re all out working 9-5 everyday and too busy to remember. At least one of them is home all day, all the time. Someone is always around who could do it. They just don’t bother to remember where it concerns someone else...that being me.
 
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