Decluttering

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BetteTheRed said:
For instance, think of easily a dozen (or maybe 20, *sigh*) "Time-Life" series of books... it's hundreds of pounds of books that no-one wants.
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Books get very heavy, that's for sure. It sounds like a dumpster might be the way to go. Are they expensive? I have never checked it out.

From what you have told us, you took over your house fully loaded. And you have been kind-hearted enough to let others stash a lot of stuff in your place. Enough already of being a storage facility! (Easy for me to say, of course.)
 
Redbaron said:
My family were subscribers to Reader's Digest Condensed Books, usually 1 arriving each month. Egad, those things piled up quickly. And NO ONE wanted to buy them at yard sales. Those, and Harlequin Romances. No one wanted them...
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We participated in a neighborhood yard sale several years ago and it was a lot of fun. However with recent decluttering efforts I haven't wanted to go that route. Too much work to organize for one thing. And it would mean keeping things around waiting for the sale. Better to donate and get the stuff gone.
 
OTOH @BetteTheRed I wonder if 1-800-Got Junk might be a better solution than a dumpster.

You pay them by volume. Could even be cheaper than renting a dumpster if you take into account how long you would need to have the dumpster. Unloading hundreds of pounds of books isn't going to happen quickly if you do it all yourself.
 
A tough thing about decluttering is getting rid of things one actually likes but has no room for. I kept such things in boxes for many years, thinking I might use them some day in another house. But I have come to terms with the fact that we are never going to move into a larger place.

Boxes of dishes and home decor (other than seasonal) now total zero. Some stuff is stored in cabinets but organized nicely. I am not a minimalist & I think this is fine.

I have three small boxes of cards and other sentimental items. Mary Travers' autograph, for example. The order of service from my children's baptism. . Things like that.

Twelve photograph albums in total but no loose pictures anywhere now. The usual advice is to digitalize such albums but I have yet to do this. I could consolidate a few small ones into another large one. Reduce my life to ten albums maybe :)
 
Wow! We have a box of my mother-in-laws china that we moved from Calgary to Deep River with the idea of trying to sell it and now have in Hawkesbury. Hope to get rid of it this summer. We moved several totes of photos from Calgary and sorted through a couple while in Deep River. We have one left to go. I have a couple of sentimental boxes I need to sort through some time as I realize our kids are not interested and will not be interested in a bunch of the stuff we saved from when they were little.
 
Sorting through photos is a big job. I tackled mine about a year ago. I had all of my father's to deal with too. The whole project took about three weeks and it was like a full time job while I was going at it.

I tossed all the duplicates plus pictures of hobbies, scenery, monuments, buildings etc. Pictures of people I couldn't identify were also discarded. Ditto for all the negatives my dad was still holding on to.
 
Oh the china @jimkenney12

I brought my mom's here after she died but later donated it. My daughter took my mother-in-law's set but she didn't want the teacups. I think I had 14 of them boxed up in the basement. They were donated eventually.

It's not terribly easy to sell this stuff unless you price it very low. Why bother?
 
KayTheCurler said:
We have lots of artwork (hubby's creations mostly). He isn't willing to get rid of anything at all. Even clothing piles up now he doesn't wear things out like he did on the acreage. I fight temptation because I'd love to dispose of some of this 'stuff' - but it isn't MINE!
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Oh gosh - I hear you on this one! Similar issue here - raises itself in arguement from time to time. Sigh.
 
More artwork than I will ever know what to do with. Most rooms are fully "arted" and there's one or two portfolios of "stuff to frame".

I've just had a thought that perhaps a lot of the latter will be gradually gifted.
 
Carolla said:
Oh gosh - I hear you on this one! Similar issue here - raises itself in arguement from time to time. Sigh.
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He gets huffy when I raise the problem again. Just doesn't see the injustice of him using all the closets in the house except for the one by the back door (shared) and the one in the bedroom (I get 25% of it). For him the problem is that he doesn't LIKE sorting, disposing, arranging 'stuff' and therefore shouldn't have to do it.
 
paradox3 said:
Mr Paradox just put 17 ties in the donation pile. He kept 4 nice ones.
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Good for him. Not his fault that every child's default "gift for Dad" is often the option when they run out of time/imagination.

My youngest sister is awesome at giving me stuff I need/want/can consume. I have homemade socks and hats and half mitts for walking in the fall/spring, cowls, shawls, etc., all beautiful, perfect, and usually timeless. (She also, without charge, repairs socks that she's made, with perfect patches, or more likely, a "re-knitted area". For her, I make stuff that I do well (food and cosmetics): special butter, special salve, gluten-light pie shells for the freezer (1/2 spelt flour), special brownies and truffles. Also, I like to give her give her experience gifts - goat and alpaca visits, etc. I paid for our full half day at the museum of the last silk mill in England. Her goal is to live in a de-commissioned city bus turned into an RV for her and the cats and the motorcycle, so I'm seriously not giving her "stuff", unless it's something that will come in handy for the bus, like a single induction burner that I had in the storage.

My other sister, not so much...one of her last gifts was the most hilariously gaudy and ugly cake plate/stand (we have sorta given up on the gift thing, and largely, on the relationship thing). She knew I cooked/baked for the church. Did she know I have made very few successful cakes in my life, that I specialize in Indian food, pastries and English puddings like trifle... So one more thing (it's currently living underneath the china cabinet) to dispose of.
 
Oh, the gift giving thing can be terrible. I have one friend of a friend who keeps giving a bag of cheap, mostly useless ”stuff”, like a hanger to hang a purse on a table ( I never owned a purse in my life), devotional items from the dollar store with bible verses written on it and useless kitchen items like a dough press. If it was just one useless item but it tends to be ten. I gave them a calendar from a fundraiser and a donation receipt on their name last christmas, hoping they “ get the hint”.
 
KayTheCurler said:
I've been working on it for over fifty years. Small progress! On the plus side is his willingness to tolerate my bothersome behaviours.
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It was always a struggle for my mom and dad. They tended to have neat (hers) and cluttered (his) zones in the house.

When they moved into a small suite in a retirement home it was very difficult for them.
 
My house is clutter personified. I try to get rid of little bits of stuff, but my husband will actually go through the garbage and reclaim things. I give away, and I sell some things on Facebook. When I recently sold some crystal candy dishes (never used, given as wedding gifts), he was very upset, and said he would have bought them! He didn't realize, I guess, that would be defeating the purpose!
 
Attitudes towards "stuff" should be considered before cohabitating, it seems to me. Tidiness vs clutter, too.
 
Male privilege is connected to male insecurity. Many people need stuff around to feel secure. It is a way of claiming space or power over space. In our bedroom I have 2 drawers and half the closet for my clothes. My other has two drawers, a wardrobe, and half the closet. Upstairs we have a storage room that runs the length of the house under the slope of the roof and I have all my other clothes in two locations. Tropical holiday clothes are with the suitcases. My other seasonal clothes are in a couple of suitcases in s less used part of the storage room and one drawer in the chest of drawers in the spare bedroom.
 
Many people who grew up in the depression years developed frugal habits and hoarding tendencies. My parents and my in-laws were both of this era. My family accumulated a bit more "stuff" though.

Food habits are another thing. In my family, wasting food just didn't happen. My mom prepared exactly enough food for everyone and placed it directly onto plates from the stove.

Mr Paradox's household was the opposite. The most important thing was to have (more than) enough for all. The food came to the table in serving bowls and family members helped themselves.

Why wash all those extra bowls and platters when it could be avoided? I wondered about this when I first met them.

They didn't mind throwing away extra food or giving it to the dog. My father-in-law refused to eat leftovers because he "didn't like them". This, too, was shocking to me when I met the Paradox family. What about all those things like spaghetti sauce that actually taste better the second day?

For sure male privelege was involved. My father-in-law certainly wasn't the one cooking from scratch every day.
 
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