Carl

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Kimmio said:
If they really feel they can't do it, then I hope another family who has the means will see the story and adopt Carl. There must be someone in Canada willing and able to do it.
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It doesn't necessarily have to be a family, it could be a single person, like you.
 
Hadn't heard this story before. Very moving. I know a couple of people who have adopted children from China, and these children have grown up to have some pretty serious mental health issues. (In both cases, the girls also have adopted sisters from China who do not have mental health issues.) In these cases, the adopted children became family. And with any of us who have children, we deal with whatever joys and trials accompany their growing up. This was not the case for Carl's Canadian helpers. They hadn't adopted him; in their eyes, they were doing something helpful and good, but involved only temporary residence in their home. They dealt with his problems to the best of their ability, including financial ability, remembering that there would be an expiration date on his residency with them.
 
The couple did a very good thing. They helped the boy for as long as they reasonably could. They should be commended.
 
When one child suffers neglect, that is a tragedy - when millions do, that’s only statistics?

Contrasting the feelings engendered by the personalized neglect of one individual versus the depersonalized neglect of many:

  • "There is double the pathos for us in the death of one little New York waif from hunger than there is in a million deaths from famine in China. It is not that distance glosses over the terrible picture of the Chinese horror, or that a feeling of national kinship with the waif impresses us the more sincerely with his plight. It is merely that the mind is unable to grasp a suffering in the gross. Suffering is so intimately personal a thing that it must be explained through the personal equation, if at all"

Source : In 1916 an anarchist publication based in California called “The Blast”
 
They are all tragedies, but it's a fact that our psychological wiring tends to make us more sympathetic to a named, personal story than an mass of nameless ones. That does not make it right, but it is something in our nature that we have to overcome; it won't come to us naturally. That's why personal stories that can then be connected to the bigger story (like the refugee child who drowned prompting an outpouring of support for the refugees) are important. If we could use Carl as a starting point to look at the plight of children in Haiti, then it might do more good than if we keep focussing on the details of his story.

(My employer has been involved in medical work in Haiti sponsored by a nursing home chain that we provide oxygen services too. One of our managers and one of the technicians from his branch have both been there as part of this and the manager's report was quite powerful and moving.)
 
Waterfall said:
It doesn't necessarily have to be a family, it could be a single person, like you.
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If I could, I would consider it. I really cannot afford to raise a child on my own, who needs a lot of extra support. That wouldn't be fair to him. I have plenty of my own challenges, including mobility. They can, and they started to... That's what breaks my heart.
 
Actually, they said, they can't. They didn't intend to.
They have no more responsibility to do so, then a child who comes for facial surgery.
People (adults, but primarily youth) come for restorative surgery and special care at hospitals. They are not expected to stay in Canada.


Now, regarding this particular time, they spent time determining best way to socialize him back to reduce risk, and what they said was that he had attachment issues which would mean that he hadn't attached to the family in Canada, and would readily fit back with his community .
 
Tabitha said:
And so that leads me to ponder how do we care for all those who need caring for in the world? How do we as individuals offer support and hospitality and share our resources?
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Good question! The other question is how do we know that what we give is getting to someone in need?
 
And another question: how do we make sure we are not just doing it for ourselves? I find churches tend to have quite a few people who like to do charity for " the feel good" effect. It doesn't matter if it or how it affects the people they deal with. I find very little tendency to reflect on this critically.
 
Mrs.Anteater said:
And another question: how do we make sure we are not just doing it for ourselves? I find churches tend to have quite a few people who like to do charity for " the feel good" effect. It doesn't matter if it or how it affects the people they deal with. I find very little tendency to reflect on this critically.
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Through the energy of the Spirit of God, we love, encourage and help one another do ministry well. As a Church, as individual churches, and as individuals, we keep focusing on God and through concern and prayer keep focusing on empowering others around us.
 
Jae said:
Through the energy of the Spirit of God, we love, encourage and help one another do ministry well. As a Church, as individual churches, and as individuals, we keep focusing on God and through concern and prayer keep focusing on empowering others around us.
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The point is God ... how far does that go in churches with walls? Does the point of god exceed such boundary conditions. In Chem. Engineering we called them wall effect ... dissonance and turbulence ... brain storms hidden in the mystery ... but this myth is often denied because of stoic confidence levels incarnation ... flowering naïveté?

Allow it a fringe position, like water boiling only at the wall of the vessel ...
 
Then I am a kin to the mad cap character hanging in the hall trees ... just observing ... looking on to a group with lack of curiosity in myth as provided!

That's the word as wyrd ... and I am sticking to the etude ... of strange words! Tis my destiny ... and gives me a lift as levi ath ong ( the final consonant being silent in some traditions)! Thus "on" ward we go digging ... brave little troupers ... in reversion Super Troupers of the Q-West ... a subtle host ... partisan-th aught ... on conjunctivitis ... red eye special?
 
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Just wondering how many people here (or those we know) have raised/are raising a child not born to them? Is this a good or bad thing now we have information about some of the kids placed in homes outside their cultural origin?
 
KayTheCurler said:
Just wondering how many people here (or those we know) have raised/are raising a child not born to them? Is this a good or bad thing now we have information about some of the kids placed in homes outside their cultural origin?
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I have... potentially... depending on your definition of, "child." Course, we're a mixed-culture home.
 
Jae said:
I have... potentially... depending on your definition of, "child." Course, we're a mixed-culture home.
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I think she's thinking more of children of neither parent, like a foster or an adoptee. In your case, it's a "blended family" where the kids are your Yobo's but not yours. Bit different situation.

KayTheCurler said:
Just wondering how many people here (or those we know) have raised/are raising a child not born to them? Is this a good or bad thing now we have information about some of the kids placed in homes outside their cultural origin?
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I personally know two families (a former colleague and current one) with adopted Chinese girls. Given that these girls were abandoned by their families (so they could try for a boy without running afoul of the one child policy) and would likely have had a rough life back in China (factory labourers or worse) but are now being raised in fairly comfortable, middle class North American homes with good shots at an education and career, I'm not sure raising them outside their cultural origin is actually a bad thing for these girls. And both families have connected with local Chinese organizations so the girls have access to Chinese language classes and the like.

Interesting note: The current colleague above has two adopted Chinese girls and the eldest is actually "home" right now. For her gap year between high school and university, the daughter is doing English tutoring in China, albeit not the part of China where she was born.
 
My niece (eldest sisters daughter) has adopted two black children when they were quite young. One from an African orphanage and one born in Toronto. They are still young, 5 and 12 and so far seem to have adjusted nicely, but my niece is well aware of the problems that some in society will place on them through intolerance. This worries her alot. She is very good at teaching the kids their black history and culture....visits Africa with the family every so many years. The family travels the world together extensively.
 
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