Age Difference in Couples

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I vaguely remember it, or something very similar, that I read years ago. I remember it as an endearing story even though I don't remember the book title or author's name.
 
June – December marriage?

I just remembered, a decade after my mother died, my father married and much younger woman from the backwoods of New Brunswick. How much younger? Well she was younger than me and I am the third of his four children. My brother and teenage sister were still living at home. Almost immediately my brother moved out. And dad's bride made life so miserable for my younger sister that she too moved out and couch surfed with neighbours until she found a job as a live-in housekeeper.

Within the next few years dad and his bride had three small children. They lived in poverty. The children were neglected by both parents, and probably abused by her. Since I was living in another province at the time, I seldom saw them except for a 10 minute visit once a year so I don't really know what their relationship was, but an old neighbour once told me that dad had told her, 'my marriage to ----was a mistake. My first wife was smart. She kept the house clean, she looked after the children, and to make good meals.'

Within a year after the birth of their little girl, dad died of a massive stroke.

I don't know what dad expectted from this marriage. I know he was lonely and missed mom. Did he hope to replace her?
and the bride? was she looking to escape from conditions at home?
If so, they were both sadly mistaken.
 
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Seeler said:
June – December marriage?

I just remembered, a decade after my mother died, my father married and much younger woman from the backwoods of New Brunswick. How much younger? Well she was younger than me and I am the third of his four children. My brother and teenage sister were still living at home. Almost immediately my brother moved out. And dad's bride made life so miserable for my younger sister that she too moved out and couch surfed with neighbours until she found a job as a live-in housekeeper.

Within the next few years dad and his bride had three small children. They lived in poverty. The children were neglected by both parents, and probably abused by her. Since I was living in another province at the time, I seldom saw them except for a 10 minute visit once a year so I don't really know what their relationship was, but an old neighbour once told me that dad had told her, 'my marriage to ----was a mistake. My first wife was smart. She kept the house clean, she looked after the children, and to make good meals.'

Within a year after the birth of their little girl, dad died of a massive stroke.

I don't know what dad expectted from this marriage. I know he was lonely and missed mom. Did he hope to replace her?
and the bride? was she looking to escape from conditions at home?
If so, they were both sadly mistaken.
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That's a terribly sad story, poignantly told. Amazing what a strong and smart (as well as loving) woman can bring to a family, and what a loss when she's gone.
 
BetteTheRed said:
Anyone ever read McCullough's novel "Tim"? It was a little known one (compared to Thorn Birds, etc.), about a younger differently abled man and an older almost-retired really bright woman (a 30 year age difference in the opposite direction than we're used to). It was actually a really endearing story, really carefully handled.
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Yes, I read it and found it well-written. The idea behind the story is kind of far-fetched but McCullough made it seem credible. It was very touching and thought-provoking.
 
Just to respond back thread. It is filmed in Toronto. You can see Roy Thompson Hall. And if you know the Toronto sky line the way it used to be you can pick out landmark buildings

But it is so different now. It is nice to see what it used to be
 
As to age. We all seem to acknowledge that as we age , big age gaps can be difficult

On the other hand, for the older partner, having someone younger to help and to advocate must be a very big help. We have all, myself included , been looking at it from the younger spouse point of view. but for the older spouse surely it is a help. A younger spouse perhaps keeps you active longer than you might on your own. And is a big help as you age and get less active
 
I agree that what happens between consenting adults is their own business and no one else's.

That said, I also agree that there are stages of life when age difference become challenging. My ex-brother-in-law divorced my sister and married a woman about 17 years younger. He is now 50 with a child in university, a child in late high school (from his marriage to my sister), and a toddler and one on the way with his new wife. He had to have a vasectomy reversal to make all this happen. There are all sorts of challenges - many not linked to the age difference, but rather to the fact that he is an ass and he married an immature child (but I digress).

I do the math and think he will be in his early 70s when his youngest will go to university. Things like retirement and how financial issues of older age might co-exist with the needs of teens and young adults are legitimate questions for me. Not to mention possible health challenges and their impact on family life.
 
I think it's only their business who to date with. If people love each other, have the same goals in life, then it's ok for me. My good friend met a man on (commercial link deleted) He is 15 years older. At first, many people judged them and told my friend she had to find someone of her age. It turned out that her partner was divorced, but dreamed about a family and couldn't find a soul mate for a long time. Also, he wanted to have children. I'm glad they didn't listen to anyone. They are married now and have a son.
 
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Redbaron said:
  1. Selling and solicitation are not permitted
    The sale of goods and/or services and the solicitation of funds is prohibited on the forums save for those engaged in raising funds for the maintenance of Wondercafe2 or in sub-forums or threads that may be designated for this purpose.

    Under our Code of Conduct, the advertisement of services is prohibited. The link has been edited out, and the poster is advised not to attempt to repeat this infraction, or disciplinary actions will be taken. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

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That sounds a bit sharp. I am sure Nickbie just meant that as part of information and isn’t the CEO of whatever dating site he mentioned.
 
Given the patterns of his posting history, the chances are very high he's a spammer. Maybe one of our Admins might care to comment more?
 
Mrs.Anteater said:
That sounds a bit sharp. I am sure Nickbie just meant that as part of information and isn’t the CEO of whatever dating site he mentioned.
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Using paid influencers to promote sites is common. They join sites, drop a few innocuous posts, then start slipping links into their posts that earn them money from click throughs. We have had them before and have always moved quickly to discourage them. The only way this site should ever have ads is if we decide to host them as a revenue source, and those will be clear, obvious advertising, not click bait posts.

We have been watching Nickbie for a few days and he fit the pattern perfectly.

The fact that he managed to come from both Montreal and some place in Finland within a few days of each other didn't help him. I can, and do, watch for stuff like this.
 
I like your comment about the posters location @Mendalla. Yesterday in Toronto Star there was an interesting article about false reviews on youtube - the info they dug up about this 'industry' was astounding to me - as I'm not in that realm as others may be. Sorry - a bit of digression from the thread topic!
 
Mendalla said:
Using paid influencers to promote sites is common. They join sites, drop a few innocuous posts, then start slipping links into their posts that earn them money from click throughs. We have had them before and have always moved quickly to discourage them. The only way this site should ever have ads is if we decide to host them as a revenue source, and those will be clear, obvious advertising, not click bait posts.

We have been watching Nickbie for a few days and he fit the pattern perfectly.

The fact that he managed to come from both Montreal and some place in Finland within a few days of each other didn't help him. I can, and do, watch for stuff like this.
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Oh, wow, you really have a keen eye. He seemed so harmless in his postings. I didn’t see his original post, just thought he added a link to some popular dating site.
 
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