Affirming Congregations
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Seeler
Well-Known Member
I volunteered to be on the 'affirming diversity' committee as soon as I heard that our church council was considering the possibility of becoming affirming because it is something that I feel passionate about. I believe some of the others were asked if they would be interested - one person in particular had been pushing for it for some time. I can't be sure what goes on in somebody else's head, nor do I know how maany were asked before the original five were chosen. Perhaps some people said 'That's not something I'd be interested in.' or 'I don't think we should be doing this right now.' or 'I'm too busy.' I do know that the original members were all very enthusiastic -- it was situations that had nothing to do with the church (like a great employment opportunity in another province) that diminished our numbers. Then one person who was away, returned home and two others accepted an invitation to join us. All working towards the same goal. Those opposed, or needing more information, have been given lots of opportunity to express their doubts or to ask questions but so far the response has been overwhelmingly positive.
We are not only looking into being affirming of the rainbow community, but also of welcoming the economically disadvantaged, and those with other challenges (mobility, vision, mental illness).
Actually, since our church is well known for its welcome of diversity -- ie gay and lesbian people have been married in our church for ten or so years, and many people in the rainbow community play active roles in leadership -- many people are surprised that we are not already 'Affirming'.
We are not only looking into being affirming of the rainbow community, but also of welcoming the economically disadvantaged, and those with other challenges (mobility, vision, mental illness).
Actually, since our church is well known for its welcome of diversity -- ie gay and lesbian people have been married in our church for ten or so years, and many people in the rainbow community play active roles in leadership -- many people are surprised that we are not already 'Affirming'.
Pinga
Room for All
Our structure was an Affirming committee who were the advocates. This small group (3 lay members + minister as council) formed and investigated the Affirming process and determined if the church was ready for the dialogue. Was it time. Was it needed.
That committee approached members of the congregation to form an Affirming review group. That group consisted of people who were a good cross section of the congregation. People who were seen as collaborators, and respected in their various communities. Many, if not all, were on the fence. Do we need it, why, etc. That group spent time intentionally together exploring the topic with guest speakers. They then took their learnings, information back to the wider network. They broke into pairs and visited identifiable groups leading discussions based on their learnings, experience through the process.
It took about 18 months to walk the process, if I remember correctly. It felt like forever for some of us, but it was a good absorption and questioning period.
That committee approached members of the congregation to form an Affirming review group. That group consisted of people who were a good cross section of the congregation. People who were seen as collaborators, and respected in their various communities. Many, if not all, were on the fence. Do we need it, why, etc. That group spent time intentionally together exploring the topic with guest speakers. They then took their learnings, information back to the wider network. They broke into pairs and visited identifiable groups leading discussions based on their learnings, experience through the process.
It took about 18 months to walk the process, if I remember correctly. It felt like forever for some of us, but it was a good absorption and questioning period.
BetteTheRed
Resident Heretic
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We had a team of 6-8 or so, led by the chair of FFCE, me (Board Chair at the time) and the minister. We started our process in the spring with a recommended visit from the minister of a church in Aurora who had just become Affirming (ours was the first in our City). One of his recommendations, particularly as a church that already saw itself as "affirming", with a long-time inclusive marriage policy, and a number of LGBTQ members in active church positions, was that we not prolong the process. To that end, we had a briefly-convened Conversations That Matter that spring, spent the summer planning orientation and exploration activities, Board and Council activities and worship services to support the process, with the aim of voting on a motion at the Annual Meeting, end of January. This we accomplished, with an Affirming celebration service with David Allen as the guest speaker, and were not sorry to have speeded through the process.
BetteTheRed
Resident Heretic
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I did not hear a single grumble, with the possible exception of "why do we have to jump through these hoops - I thought we already WERE affirming?".
Seeler
Well-Known Member
On another thread, I shared part of the process we are following. Several church members approached the Council about becoming officially Affirming. Like BettetheRed's church we through that we were well on the way with our long-standing inclusive marriage policy and LGBT people in active roles in the church. The Council set up a committee -- I immediately volunteered, as did one other. The chair of council approached several others. I don't know if anyone turned down the opportunity but we ended up with a committee of five -- a good working number.
We piggy-backed on another ad hoc committee that was visiting all the groups connected with our church to find out what made them feel welcome and what could be improved (better access, lighting, large-print bulletins, inclusive language, being invited by a friend, transportation, etc.)
(This initial work seemed to me to take a long time.)
We had Affirming Moments in worship; mention in our church newsletters.
We lost two members of our team for unrelated reasons, and another was away for some time. But now we are back at full strength.
Another committee is revising our already inclusive marriage policy. We're looking to revise our Mission Statement to clearly include the LGBT community.
We are holding 'Conversation' gatherings after worship on some Sundays where people can ask questions and share concerns.
And we hope to be officially Affirming before summer.
We piggy-backed on another ad hoc committee that was visiting all the groups connected with our church to find out what made them feel welcome and what could be improved (better access, lighting, large-print bulletins, inclusive language, being invited by a friend, transportation, etc.)
(This initial work seemed to me to take a long time.)
We had Affirming Moments in worship; mention in our church newsletters.
We lost two members of our team for unrelated reasons, and another was away for some time. But now we are back at full strength.
Another committee is revising our already inclusive marriage policy. We're looking to revise our Mission Statement to clearly include the LGBT community.
We are holding 'Conversation' gatherings after worship on some Sundays where people can ask questions and share concerns.
And we hope to be officially Affirming before summer.
Seeler
Well-Known Member
Ps I see now that my original post has now been transferred to this thread. Sorry if I repeated myself.
crazyheart
Rest In Peace: tomorrow,tomorrow
I know Presbyteries become affirming. I know conferences become affirming. Would the goal be
to make United Church as a whole affirming. If all the courts are affirming
, then would it just be a a matter of the General Council announcing?
to make United Church as a whole affirming. If all the courts are affirming
, then would it just be a a matter of the General Council announcing?
It sounds like in all these cases a decision to affirm is premade, and then a Committee is just formed to ram the thing through.
What I'd like to see is a Committee comprised of people dedicated to following God's Word rather than the spirit of the age.
These individuals could then meet and conduct a proper exegesis of the biblical text. The goal would be to seek God's will when it comes to the issue of being affirming.
What I'd like to see is a Committee comprised of people dedicated to following God's Word rather than the spirit of the age.
These individuals could then meet and conduct a proper exegesis of the biblical text. The goal would be to seek God's will when it comes to the issue of being affirming.
Seeler
Well-Known Member
I'm afraid that wouldn't work Crazyheart. Too many churches within the umbrella of the UCC would object - or worse, do nothing. People might start to assume that LGBT people would be welcomed and safe in all United churches. Unfortunately this is not true of all congregations. There are still churches where children growing up with two Moms, or two Dads, would not be safe. They would be questioned, teased, or otherwise made to feel something was wrong with their loving family. There are still churches where Trans people couldn't find a washroom they would be comfortable in. Churches where gay teens will overhear words like "Fagot", where people will condescend to pray for them that somehow they can be changed.
Until I became part of the process, really got to know some rainbow people, heard some of the speakers, I really didn't know what some people have to face every day of their lives. I didn't know how careful they have to be. Unless each individual congregation is going to go through the process and declare itself 'Affirming', I don't think rainbow people can assume that it is welcoming and safe for them and their families.
revjohn
Well-Known Member
Pr. Jae said:
I am sure that is what you are hearing.
Which suggests your ability to listen is impaired to some degree.
Since the affirming process is not one your congregation is likely to engage in your energies are probably best spent actually listening to what is being said by those who have been part of such processes and not filling the thread with your imagination about what is happening and why.
It may suggest that John, or it may rather suggest that I'm hearing quite clearly. I note that no one yet has mentioned having a Committee on which there were voices in dissension with Affirming. I note also that no mention has been made yet of the Committees wrestling with the more difficult texts on homosexuality and the like. In each case what we rather have is a Committee being struck to bring about a foreordained conclusion.
revjohn
Well-Known Member
Pr. Jae said:
Have you heard representatives of every congregation that has attempted the affirmation process?
Have you heard representatives of congregations that have rejected calls to enter the affirmation process?
Do you always assume universals from particulars?
Pr. Jae said:
Which would presume that such study would affirm a hostile attitude towards homosexual individuals or that a study on how we are to treat our brothers or sisters in the faith, or even mere neighbours falls short of some ideal.
Pr. Jae said:
Since you and I are not privy, even through the testimony here of each and every case that is an ignorant statement.
You could quit while you are behind or go for broke and demonstrate even greater ignorance.
I suspect one is a long-shot and the other is easy money.
Of course I've been speaking in regard to the cases that have been reported here. They're the ones that are here that I can speak to.
revjohn said:
Not here I haven't. Go ahead though John, enlighten us. Share with us some stories if where the Committees were balanced, of where a proper exegesis was done of the pertinent texts, and where congregations chose not to become Affirming.
revjohn said:
You can take that from what I said if you like. I'm not quite sure just how you do so, however, since I'm one who has been saying Committees should have a balance of opinion.
revjohn said:
Interesting. Are you always so winsome?
BetteTheRed
Resident Heretic
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Jae, the reason you're not seeing any dissent is that the UCCan is largely, officially, "over" this. We've had two LGBTQ moderators in a row, for Pete's sake. All of the exegesis, all of the arguments came out decades ago. It was almost finished in our congregation when I arrived almost 20 years ago. If you were even remotely homophobic in this end of town, there is a community church that was formed to meet your needs. HOWEVER, the world is often an unkind place, particularly when you're a young person. Our church is uniquely situated on a busy thoroughfare almost equally between two high schools, and around the corner from a community college. We wanted to make damned sure that any kid or young adult walking by our building KNEW that this was a safe place for them. Rainbows abound.
crazyheart
Rest In Peace: tomorrow,tomorrow
I have seen that those churches who are not welcoming, do not enter into the Affirming Process.
I have also heard " We are already welcoming" so do not enter the process.
I have also heard
"We have been hearing this too long and don't want to hear any more."
I have also heard " We are already welcoming" so do not enter the process.
I have also heard
"We have been hearing this too long and don't want to hear any more."
Seeler
Well-Known Member
We have given members of the congregation ample opportunity to ask questions and express their concerns - in private with one of more committee member, in group discussion, or anonymously in writing. We have even provided pencils and paper for people to write out their questions or comments and drop them in a basket after church or at the church office during the week.
Our up-coming 'Conversation' is intended to specifically address theological issues. We hope that anyone who has serious concerns about any Bible texts that they need to discuss or clarify will bring them to this meeting.
Perhaps it should be noted that a few people left the UCC denomination years ago when the UCC first began ordaining GLBT people; and more left eight or ten years ago when we had our first lesbian wedding. Maybe those remaining are comfortable with our position. We have also noted this winter that we have new families coming to our church this year. Some have expressed to me that they chose this congregation because of our open welcome.