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Change is a stressful thing for many people - Namana is among that group I think. She has managed okay during your short breaks, if I recall correctly, despite her unhappiness being away from you. Do you call home when you are away or do take a more complete respite break? No doubt you miss her in some ways too. Hoping being in the house is a little better for you. How long will you stay?
 
Naman said:
I went from the camper I live in to the old house for more water. Took a picture of the the setup and and attempted to add the picture to my post. But I cannot figure out how to compress the pictured enough to download on WonderCafe2. I have posted quite a few farm pictures on my unsecured Facebook profile under Leonard Benjamin Hewson.
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If you copy them straight from facebook you don't need to worry about the file size. Click on the picture on facebook, right click to copy and then come here and right click to paste. I should also test out the drag and drop from FB, not sure if that works or not.

Do you want your full name here? Just drop a report and it can be edited out with whoever is around if you don't want it sticking around. It's not just members who can see it, people can lurk without an account.
 
Naman said:
So we moved into an assisted living complex. Namana is happy with it so long as I stay close by. I do not need the assistance foe myself. But it is very stressful for Namana when I go back to the farm.
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The link didn't work for me. Which home Is she's in? I misread and didn't realized she moved.
 
I am quite willing to let the General public see everything I post on Facebook. What I post on WonderCafe is more personal but not strictly confidential.
 
Problem is living in such a place is very tedious for me and I find myself going with the flow instead of planning my activities.
 
Naman said:
Problem is living in such a place is very tedious for me and I find myself going with the flow instead of planning my activities.
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OK perfect. Taking care of yourself is soooo important. Your a caregiver also. And caregivers sometimes forget of their needs too. I'm so happy to hear your at the farm and hope there should a way to see some pictures! I will keep my eyes open for her.
 
Carolla said:
Change is a stressful thing for many people - Namana is among that group I think. She has managed okay during your short breaks, if I recall correctly, despite her unhappiness being away from you. Do you call home when you are away or do take a more complete respite break? No doubt you miss her in some ways too. Hoping being in the house is a little better for you. How long will you stay?
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I left the institution, (lacking a better word to describe it) on Monday morning and am planning to return on Friday afternoon. This is the whole point of this discussion, institutional life versus farm life.
 
Life in a retirement residence certainly can be very taxing for those who still have good cognitive abilities - this was certainly the experience of a few people from my church who moved in recent years - often because of the decline of a spouse. It is a positive environment in so many ways, but for some I think the lack of option to set one's own schedule is huge - eg to eat when you're hungry, not when your 'shift' is in the dining room, to eat with others, to choose with whom to sit at mealtimes etc. - these are things I heard others speak of, some of which I hadn't ever considered. Also, sometimes the recreational activities may be designed for those with altered physical & cognitive abilities - thus feeling less than interesting for others.

So I'm glad you've still got the farm to visit - family to chat with, real life 'problems' - mechanical or otherwise! - to solve, projects & places to tinker and feel engaged, fresh country air to breathe and night sky to wonder at, food and sleep of your choosing. Enjoy the rest of your week & safe travels back to the city Naman.
 
Luce NDs said:
I look forward to an institution that is close to a tavern ... giving access to MS truths that lie there waiting to be unraveled!
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At the place my Grandpa is at they serve beer for Oktoberfest quite a few people have difficulties getting back to their rooms after that!
 
The cool thing about advanced age is that, due to some level of organ deterioration, only takes two beers to get merry!
 
Carolla said:
...........But for some I think the lack of option to set one's own schedule is huge - eg to eat when you're hungry, not when your 'shift' is in the dining room, to eat with others, to choose with whom to sit at mealtimes etc....

Thanks Corolla.
This is the thing. The more I follow the regimentation, the less I think for myself and the more I become dependent on the system and the less able I become to look out for myself. Naman
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Yes, this is the painful thing. In giving yourself to Namana's care, you become diminished yourself. My heart really aches for you.

(As an aside, I am facing some painful decisions about the care of my very old 'friend', who I never marrried and never lived with full time.) This crap is NOT for the faint of heart.
 
BetteTheRed said:
Yes, this is the painful thing. In giving yourself to Namana's care, you become diminished yourself. My heart really aches for you.

(As an aside, I am facing some painful decisions about the care of my very old 'friend', who I never marrried and never lived with full time.) This crap is NOT for the faint of heart.
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No, it certainly is not. We are going through crap with my (almost) 90 year old father and it is terrible.
 
Carolla said:
Life in a retirement residence certainly can be very taxing for those who still have good cognitive abilities - this was certainly the experience of a few people from my church who moved in recent years - often because of the decline of a spouse.
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Yes, it is a very difficult situation when spouses have different needs.
 
So many tough decisions to make as we age. It sounds like you are considering the needs of your wife and yourself and coming up with some solutions that seem sensible. I wish you joy as you both proceed down your paths.
 
Naman said:
Winter is ending and I figure that I need to be back at the farm for most of the summer. Maybe Mondys and Tuesdays in the institution with Namana and the rest of the week at the farm.
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I think you should give yourself alot of credit for hanging in there....without love it would be impossible. I'm sure if the situation were reversed, your wife would have taken care of you too.
 
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