Death Doula

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@ninjafaery I don't understand the concept of a death doula. What does she or he do.

It makes me uneasy. Is it to plan funeral etc. or is it to tell you where you are going

and how and why. no thanks!!!
 
Hey Crazyheart - you could get to have a coffee with a few in your neighbourhood soon! End-of-Life Doula - Douglas College I had a little chuckle when I saw this :)

Anyway - I think this would be a person someone would choose to hire - possibly in absence of family, or maybe if in disagreement with family, or maybe just wanting to ease the way for family and provide reassurance during the process of dying. Often hospitals & health care professionals are not great at supporting those who are dying - for a whole variety of reasons. Having a consistent person there to listen, educate, reassure, advocate could be quite reassuring.

I'm thinking of my own experience in having midwives during my second pregnancy & delivery - they were terrifically supportive, educative, and reassuring in times of stress - which made the experience much much better for both my husband and me. This was before midwives were covered by our provincial health plan & able to do hospital births, so I was simultaneously seeing an obstetrician & did have a hospital birth. I tell you tho, it was worth every penny we paid to them. I would see a death doula in a somewhat similar light. Both our coming and our going from this world are sacred moments.
 
Midwives are good at supporting the new mom and baby, too. I wonder if death doulas stay around for a time after the death takes place?
 
crazyheart said:
That made me chuckle too. For 750 dollars, maybe I could sit in hallway and listen in. lol
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Maybe you should e-mail them of your interest & see if you could 'audit' (ie sit in on) a couple of lectures for no charge ... would no doubt be very interesting!
 
ninjafaery said:
I tried to find a graduate degree programme in Thanatology (the study of death and dying) that I came across while browsing a few years ago. Can't find it now. It sounded very interesting. In addition to the usual palliative care courses, it explored cultural, historical and philosophical areas...everything. I know a death doula likely hasn't studied all this stuff. I wonder what could be more distressing than to have an earnest, cheery baby cooing over you while you face the Big One. Personally, I'd rather not. And what if you're not "spiritual"?
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If not spiritedly emotional ... perhaps you could be logical about it?
 
paradox3 - re: Lactation consultants - we'll always find people who aren't on the same page as us. I'm just respectful of the education and process an LC has done beyond the course work that I took.

Midwives these days for the record are really busy and yes - provide a more personal level of care in general than one expects of an OB/GYN, but as a doula, I found my presence was rarely 'extra' and always appreciated, at least at the end of the process.

Also regarding doula or family - I would say I was as much a doula to the family as to the mother. Birth or death is a new emotional path for the family too, so having a doula acting as I described is a supportive presence. Again - if one is to hire a doula for either birth or death, one would interview and explore the choices and choose someone who feels right. Guaranteed, you'll come across people who aren't right for you, and then find some who would surprise you by their focus and capability. And they may have a remarkable background that has brought them to this place. For something so personal, you'd be careless to call some agency and say "just send me anyone, as long as they have "credentials."
 
On a related note you can get caskets and coffins in a DIY kit. All precut just assembled. Or just coffin plans. An alternative to buying a pricier coffin-these DIY ones are pine.. I kind of like the idea.
 
reminds me of Chekov's funeral. he had it on a train that was moving and a whole shwack of rich peeps that didnt know him personally came to catch up and follow Chekhov's train.

when they finally got there after kms of walking they noticed a HORRIBLE stink.

they had been following an OYSTER train

Chekhov's train was waaaaay back. so they turned around to trudge

apparently Chekhov's friends thot that it was as if Chekhov wrote that scene himself :)
 
Carolla said:
Believe it or not (and I wish it was not true!) my minister started the service last week with a joke about the IKEA founder's funeral being delayed because his family were re-reading the assembly instructions for his casket. Sigh.
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that belongs on the joke thread :p
 
Tabitha said:
On a related note you can get caskets and coffins in a DIY kit. All precut just assembled. Or just coffin plans. An alternative to buying a pricier coffin-these DIY ones are pine.. I kind of like the idea.
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Thus some pine away in a whisper as the powers of professionalism try and quiet the Mob that passes over ... heavenly hosts (para, or beyond)! Then the pine is home of the great ephrine ... parent of Sudap hed clears de sine OId ...tis naught phun ... MU cuss oidal ...
 
BetteTheRed said:
I like the idea of these pods where you can gradually turn into a tree... Bye-Bye Coffins, These Organic Burial Pods Turn Your Loved Ones Into Trees
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My ancients were buried in a grove of pines ... when burying someone in the area a few years ago I said to the previous cemetery manager that I would like to have my ashes dumped into a post hole so that within a short time I could be in the tops of the pines ... a high fringe area?

Must have touched a hot button because he chuckled profusely ... and was buried in the same area a short time later ... time passes quick as a snowstorm in a winter grove ... place of flakey reverence ... for God's people ... those significantly accepted as gone ...

I try but few accept alternate cognizance in a conforming society that cultures hate for the neighbours ... a learned process?

I suppose I wasn't supposed to say that about any organization facing crisis ... and criticism about vague BS ... just that funny PEW!

All people perceived to be gone should leave a story about what drove them out ... denial or elimination by powers ...
 
seriously I think it is a great thing for the family to do-depending on the family-my sister is a great woodworker 5 of the grandchildren are handy with tools and I am decent with them myself. They say it packs flat so you can store it under your bed-(actually that is the American one). It takes less than 1 hour to do. I need to talk to my folks about this.
 
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