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Cool Nancy. My kids built an awesome dinosaur when they were between about five and nine. It was about half the length of our backyard and taller than them. It took all day Saturday and pretty much cleaned out our yard and the one next door (their five year old got involved too). We were really impressed, doubly so as they didn't want any help. By the time we had had breakfast on Sunday they were planning the practicalities of decorating it. After a few experiments they chose to use powdered water colours mixed like a paste and spread by paintbrushes. It was very colourful too.
 
Here it has turned cold and we've had some flurries, and a little remains on the ground, but no serious accumulations.

*Bette puts another nice ash log on the fire from the stash her old guy has been guarding in his house for the upcoming real cold.*

I've just had a lovely couple of days. I knew that my biological son, who lives near Melbourne, was arriving in Ontario on Monday for an extended visit with his adoptive parents and some old friends. He's come without his wife and son this time. He's sort of media limited and we hadn't made any real solid plans to get together, as he was going to need to work around a whole bunch of other people and their holiday plans. So, when he messaged me Wednesday in the early afternoon, it was very "us" that he was suddenly going to arrive Wednesday night after dinner, stay with me until Friday when I would take him up to Orillia for the next leg of his travels. And, of course, because I'd spent all weekend desperately cooking, planning, serving, etc., the Congregational Christmas dinner, my house was more than a little the worse for wear. AND, I was booked from 3:20-5:30 or so to do a (solo - takes longer) Meals on Wheels route. I was also going to want to assemble some family for a Christmas-y type dinner on Thursday (thank you Facebook Event planner), shop for and prepare it. Everything went smoothly, my house got tidy enough, my dog behaved well enough, I got a bit of family together and we had a nice visit and dinner together, and a really nice drive to Orillia, a lunch out and a successful delivery, with kit, to friend's... then my alternator crapped out on the way home, so that was a little exciting, but car is safely at mechanic's, I am safely home on city bus, so all is well.
 
That all sounds exciting BetteTheRed. I have two adopted kids - one set about finding his birth family as soon as he was out of school (we said we wouldn't give them any info until they had completed High School or matured to 21). The process of getting to know each other went very well and both sides of the family like each other. The other kid says he wants to find his birth family but has made no moves to do so. I'm pretty sure I saw one of his siblings in a nearby city a few years ago - and people stop our son on the street in the city thinking he is someone else. It would be so easy to just get hold of his birth mum and siblings - but it doesn't seem to be our business. Of course, as he has pointed out, she could easily find him too. We decided that it was up to one of them to make a move - not convinced completely that we are right though.
 
KayTheCurler said:
We decided that it was up to one of them to make a move - not convinced completely that we are right though.
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I think you are. I have never been in the situation from any side (adoptee, adopter, or giver up for adoption) but logically it seems to me that they have to want to meet. You can nudge and advise, of course, if you think they are interested but holding back for some reason but I wouldn't think it's your responsibility to actually start things moving.
 
My son and I arrived at "that point" at slightly different points, but thanks to the miracle of the internet, and the Canadian Adoptees Registry (I think it's changed since we were re-united a decade or so ago), we did meet up, on-line for a long time, then in person about 5-6 years ago. Neither of us pushed it, but we get along quite well, and are often quite surprised by how similar we are. Big joke at last night's dinner was that my sister arrived for a visit and a cuppa (and a take-home dinner; she'd had a long day in a machine shop and needed to return to her kitties), and we all got to see how a particular nose, sorta med length with a slightly bulbous end, has travelled through the family. Also he has (intentional) dreads down to his waist; my 'dreads' are unintentional, but there's a major one working on needing cutting out at the back...
 
Sounds wonderful Bette, and I have an interesting hair picture now in my imagination. Kay....you sound very wise with your children. My sister has two children adopted from China. They won't even have the option of finding or knowing their biological parents. The oldest was left on the doorstep of an orphanage, and the youngest was dumped in the streets, left to wander when she was able to walk.
 
Nancy said:
My sister has two children adopted from China. They won't even have the option of finding or knowing their biological parents. The oldest was left on the doorstep of an orphanage, and the youngest was dumped in the streets, left to wander when she was able to walk.
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The VP-GM at work has two Chinese adoptees. The eldest actually took a gap year between high school and university and did English tutoring in China, going "home" so to speak. Wasn't actually in the part of China she came from but I suspect that there was a certain amount of finding some roots going on there.
 
I wonder if the children adopted out of their continent will claim cultural theft like the aboriginal people here? I also wonder if the family get tired of the comments about their choice. We heard plenty, but with it being a small community people got the message about our desire to be considered in the same way as other families. Now this community has several children from other places, not just other cultures. I think it might be better to take the 'other country route' in larger communities. The Haitian/African/Asian children may find it challenging to find a group that they really fit with once they are grown and move out into the world.
 
KayTheCurler said:
I wonder if the children adopted out of their continent will claim cultural theft like the aboriginal people here?
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Slightly different situation, though. The adoption of Aboriginal children was part of a policy of cultural assimilation. Those Chinese girls were likely going to end up as wage slaves in factories or households or hotels or whatever. Here, they are going to university and getting good jobs. The problem is that they aren't really orphans, they were cast off by families in favour of another shot at a boy, since the family could only have one child. Everyone there knew that so they would have been marginalized. If they want to go after someone, it's the Chinese Communist Party who stole their lives/culture. Not us. If there had been a place for them in Chinese society, the adoptions would have been unnecessary.
 
My sister married into an Italian family. Their oldest daughter had to write a report on her ancestors in elementary school...the country from which her family came. She wrote about Italy! My sister kept saying...Don't you want to write about China? She said, Why? They didn't want me.
 
My paternal grandfather was a lady's man, or.slime (dependent on your viewpoint)

He was from Windsor but like a tom cat, he had a habit of straying.

Story goes that I had ( have) an uncle in our city. My brother told me a few years ago but wouldn't share the name
 
Wow Pinga. Does that make you wonder whenever you meet someone new of that age? Does it make you look for family resemblances? I would be very curious. Just like I was when I discovered that my great-grandmother might have been Metis.
 
I thought about it at first, I must admit. Then I dumped it as though we may have genetic markers, there are no shared family stories, other than maybe my paternal grandfather.

I have another family that discovered that their grandpa was not their grandpa. Grandma had had relationship with a man and two of the 3 kids were his. That did cause challenges in the family. In part as breast cancer was discovered in the family and there was a wonderment if it was genetic. it was the testing of the family that disclosed the situation to the younger generation (my generation).
 
Pinga it does make me wonder about your family dynamics. It seems unusual that your brother would share part but not all of the story with you.
 
I was feeling quite down and alone last night. My youngest is back in the psych ward again.
I miss having him about the house.
But beyond that I felt I had no one to share it with. My mom is busy with Dad after his fall and concussion . Both sisters seem a bit removed-and yes I have called both recently but they have other things going on.
I don't want to overburden my eldest and as you may be aware my middle is only in sporadic contact (but that's better than estranged)
My real life friends are shifting at the moment too.
But all looks a bit better in the morning. Son called and I'm off to deliver a care bag-change of clothes etc. he has requested.
 
My maternal grandmother had a brother who went off to WW2. He already had a family with two daughters, one developmentally delayed. When he came home, he found his wife pregnant. So he threw her out of the house. She left alone, he kept the kids and my grandmother, his sister, raised them with my mom for a time.

After my great uncle died, we were going through some of his things that were stored in my grandmother's home, and it turns out he had a girlfriend in England during the war. In letters she wanted to come over, but he ditched her, too.

He got remarried and gave up his disabled daughter to a series of hellish group homes starting in the 50s. She is still alive, and we are almost the only family who she visits. he sister doesn't have much to do with her, though distance (BC-Ontario) is part of the problem. Her stepsiblings never had anything to do with her.

And that's just a small part of my sap-filled family tree.
 
crazyheart said:
@chansen, everyone's family has a story of some kind, I think. Some sadder than others.
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Some more boring than others. I mean, there's a real dearth of stories in my family. Even Grandad's memoir (privately published for family and friends) didn't really have any juicy bits in it. Either we're really bland or really good at not airing our dirty laundry. :rolleyes:
 
The story I can share about families isn't exactly MY family, but an in-laws. It started with my sister taking her kids to research statistical info at the Records Office - births, marriages, deaths etc as a fun, educational activity. They found their own info and moved on to the grandparents. They found their mum's parents easily and moved on to their dad's. They and the office staff tried and tried to determine the wedding of that pair of grandparents. It didn't exist - they weren't married though everyone had assumed they were.

Several years later following the grandmother's death my sister was helping sort out the house. Among the papers there were letters. Some were fascinating as they had been exchanged during WW1. Others were distinctly puzzling. It turned out that the grandmother had a child before joining her partner and had corresponded and sent support payments. He knew nothing about it and refused to see her.
 
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