What keeps you where you are?

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Moving because you want to go somewhere else is one thing. Moving because of a change in life circumstance is something else entirely, and can be it's own loss. It really needs to be treated as such in some situations. It's not a little thing.
 
Moving because you want to go somewhere else is one thing. Moving because of a change in life circumstance is something else entirely, and can be it's own loss. It really needs to be treated as such in some situations. It's not a little thing.
Over time and moving through the grief to the other side, hopefully we realize that home isn't dependent on a particular house, furniture or stuff, but where we live.
 
What keeps you where you are?

Fear.


My husband and I are both unhappy in our jobs and the pool of available jobs is small in our city. We think about leaving town to improve our situation but
fear prevents us from being able to choose somewhere more suitable. A new province/city might have better job opportunities, might have a church family we love as much as we currently have, might be closer to our families (which might or might not be a good thing)...
So we hope for things to improve; we wait for some indication of what we should do; and we do our best with what we have for now.
 
Fear.


My husband and I are both unhappy in our jobs and the pool of available jobs is small in our city. We think about leaving town to improve our situation but
fear prevents us from being able to choose somewhere more suitable. A new province/city might have better job opportunities, might have a church family we love as much as we currently have, might be closer to our families (which might or might not be a good thing)...
So we hope for things to improve; we wait for some indication of what we should do; and we do our best with what we have for now.
I find it's often helpful to remind myself that very few changes we make in life are actually permanent - unless we make it that way. If it works out differently than we expected, or we just plain don't like it, we can change again!

I also like to remember that most of us make the best decisions we can with the information available at the time. New info might emerge just after making the decision. It doesn't mean it was a bad decision, just means the info changed.
 
I was talking with a grandkid about this the other day. He was wondering how to decide to do Thing 1 or Thing 2. Both Things had some good points. I suggested writing down the pros and cons and if they really are as equal as they sound to toss a die. If the choice isn't too great he can change his mind later - he is young, healthy and smart!
 
The situation with my parents is they are in their mid-seventies and they still own my childhood home, plus the ski chalet. My dad built both, with the help of other tradesmen friends that were paid. There is a strong attachment to both places. They put their last dollars into that house in the mid-60s. They were the poorest ski chalet owners around, but they built their own place and sacrificed in the mid-80s to do it. They are fiercely proud of both. Not of me, no, but certainly the two buildings.

The chalet has in-ground heating, so it's also cooled in the summer. It is where they always planned to retire to. But I can't get my mom to agree to sell the house. It's a 2+ hour drive between them, and they don't need the work of maintaining two places. But she won't do it.

One day, it's going to be my wife and I emptying that house. We know it. We're almost resigned to it. But my parents are driving home today, partly to fix a small leak in the foundation. My father will, if necessary, dig down to the bottom of the foundation wall, by hand.

After that, it's a new shed at the cottage, to house his new tractor. Because he needed a bigger one with a front end loader. Because doesn't everybody?

I have no idea what to do with them.
 
Pinga said:
What causes you to stay living where you are?

The fact that if somebody mentions moving anytime soon there is likely to be a body turning up somewhere in pretty bad shape.

Pinga said:
Have you lived there forever? Have you up sized or downsized?

Since Dec 1, 2016. It was definitely an upsize. Because we have a grandkid now so . . .

Plus we like to have room to put folk up who are visitors to the Province. Currently we have two gentlemen who are avid cyclers and plan to cycle the Island hanging with us for at least tonight as they prepare their adventure.

They probably thought starting in May would keep them from overheating.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Try to keep from freezing.!

Pinga said:
What keeps you where you are?

NL resonates like no other place does. I've done BC, Prairies, Northern ON, Southwester ON, Eastern ON, Rural Que, and NL.

This is the only place I have ever been that looks nothing like home and still feels twice as much home as home ever did.

Plus I have my own treed lot, great view of St. John's airport and several flights on approach every day. It is a two minute drive to the eastern coast of North America (maybe 25 to the easternmost point of North America) has the friendliest and some of the funniest people on earth.

What is not to love.
 
RevJohn. I do understand the desire to move to the Rock, and you had a good reason to do so. It is beautiful and varied and the people do have a culture of inclusion / welcome.

The snow though....the snow.
 
Hi,

Barbara and I are each the eldest of ten children. Neither of us has lived in any location for longer than seven years. Her dad was in the air force. My dad was a dreamer. Things always seemed a little better over there.

We are now in Steinbach. We have been here three years. We also lived here for three years about twenty years past. I am in the last stages of formal church work. Barbara and I enjoy turning yards into gardens. She imagines and executes. I participate with glad helping hands. My preferred role in life.

Our house is listed. Not much action just now. No idea of what follows. Two options in view. We may stay here or we may move to the Wolsey neighbourhood in Winnipeg. We will find a rental property with some yard and some character. A decision to downsize our economic and energy responsibility. Freeing us for participation in community ventures oriented to the well being of persons and neighbourhoods.

Itinerancy has taught us that where ever we are it is only for now.

George

 
Steinbach is full of religious crazies. I know. I've been threatened by a few of them for taking down their scam they were plying through congregations.

Stage your home with lots and lots of crosses. If it's a vertical line, cross it with a horizontal one. And vice-versa. Then hang dead guys from them. And add throw pillows.


Edit: Before you leave town, tell Ken McAllister and Ken Haslem that Craig Hansen says, "Hi." They may still be in the mortgage biz. McAllister especially will probably wince. Before he tells you how wrong I was. Though I helped get the scam he was selling pulled from Canada. Before the Competition Bureau of Canada had a chance to come down on him.
 
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It is a bad time for me because, I am so emotional these days. It will be fine. 1 bedroom, ground floor. very close to where I am.

A small patio off ground floor. Close to my kids. newly painted. washer, dryer. dishwasher. stove, fridge ,electric fire place.

common area, small library. close to Moxies, Brewster's and Denny's The money will be tight but manageable.
 
It is a bad time for me because, I am so emotional these days. It will be fine. 1 bedroom, ground floor. very close to where I am.

A small patio off ground floor. Close to my kids. newly painted. washer, dryer. dishwasher. stove, fridge ,electric fire place.

common area, small library. close to Moxies, Brewster's and Denny's The money will be tight but manageable.
sounds lovely crazyheart - but even lovely can be challenging ... be gentle with yourself. Hugs.
 
It is a bad time for me because, I am so emotional these days. It will be fine. 1 bedroom, ground floor. very close to where I am.

A small patio off ground floor. Close to my kids. newly painted. washer, dryer. dishwasher. stove, fridge ,electric fire place.

common area, small library. close to Moxies, Brewster's and Denny's The money will be tight but manageable.
I'm glad it's nice. I'm sorry about all that has happened around you and to you.
 
If I may ... thinking you should stick to construction ... home staging is not a good career move for you! :p
This is Steinbach we're talking about. The realtor ad should read, "Jesus died so you could buy this house."
 
The fact that if somebody mentions moving anytime soon there is likely to be a body turning up somewhere in pretty bad shape.



Since Dec 1, 2016. It was definitely an upsize. Because we have a grandkid now so . . .

Plus we like to have room to put folk up who are visitors to the Province. Currently we have two gentlemen who are avid cyclers and plan to cycle the Island hanging with us for at least tonight as they prepare their adventure.

They probably thought starting in May would keep them from overheating.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Try to keep from freezing.!



NL resonates like no other place does. I've done BC, Prairies, Northern ON, Southwester ON, Eastern ON, Rural Que, and NL.

This is the only place I have ever been that looks nothing like home and still feels twice as much home as home ever did.

Plus I have my own treed lot, great view of St. John's airport and several flights on approach every day. It is a two minute drive to the eastern coast of North America (maybe 25 to the easternmost point of North America) has the friendliest and some of the funniest people on earth.

What is not to love.

Spoken like a true NWFY ... alternate determinants would try and tell you that you are evil to live there ... what with polar bears and walruses and so much fish ...

Some people don't know how to open their sols ... thus "the all" symbol of the carpenter ... some say awl "ʘ" and thus were bored to death by nothing exciting happening but city living ... the mark of the carpenter ... and off he went ...
 
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