Planning your own funeral?

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I was surprised to hear that in Canada you buy graveyard plots for “ eternity”. Is that the same in big cities? In Berlin thereis a time limit of , I believe, 25 years and then you have to renew/ pay again, or it goes to someone else.
 
I don't think it’s a good paradigm shift. I understand some getting affairs in order when someones time is inevitably drawing much closer....but...It’s depressing to talk about death all the time. I’ve had to out of necessity in the past several years because you can’t talk about MAiD without talking about death, but it’ll never be a pleasant topic, and I don’t really think it’s intended to be. Death is sad. People mourn and grieve. That’s natural. Were supposed to be sad to lose people we love. We‘re not made to openly embrace death too easily or we would never have survived as a species. Some days I feel like I’m being forced to grieve my own death before I die, but I am in no hurry to die. For all the atheism/ agnostism around “when you’re gone you’re gone and that’s it” people who don’t believe in an afterlife - like this is the only chance we get - they sure do seem a little too interested in the subject of their own deaths. I dont think that’s healthy for human survival. It’s bizarre to me, and unsettling, and it really started ramping up and becoming a thing since MAID, in Canada. And that statement isn’t about MAiD so much as the preoccupation with death, which is related to planning ones own funeral. I can’t really say what should be done in my own honour. That’s weird too. Because it won’t matter to me. It might matter to a few others still living, but I’m fairly certain it won’t matter to me when I am gone, so why spend precious time in life preoccupied with all things related to my death?

Didn't Jesus say let the dead bury the dead?
 
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When I pop off. I have no interest other than I would like my ashes to be spread where they spread my wife's. Depending on who pops off first that is. I have a will in place. But as for funeral, that's up to my family I have no say. I believe in celebrating a life not mourning it. If that life is worth celebrating that is, they could have been a rapist or an axe murderer. You can't say anything nice about someone like that. However, everybody was some mother's child.
 
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There are several stories out and about those fine stories about deceased ... that the living questions: "Did we just bury who we thought we did?"
 
Mrs.Anteater said:
I was surprised to hear that in Canada you buy graveyard plots for “ eternity”. Is that the same in big cities? In Berlin thereis a time limit of , I believe, 25 years and then you have to renew/ pay again, or it goes to someone else.
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Not sure of the exact law, but I know that moving graves is a serious PITA here and some of our cities, even small ones like London, have large tracts of land given over to their older cemeteries. There's one on my way to work that must be several hectares. It has roads running through it. And the one next to the building where Mrs. M lived in the 90s in the West End of London is probably similar size. Siloam UC moved back in the eighties but Siloam Cemetery is still there at the old location (the congregation is quite old, an early Methodist congregation in the area originally)
 
The church may declare the sacred site as eternal, then the church folds and some other administration takes over.

With new administration ... will something change?

It seems change can be overwhelming to those fixed in position! Then there is archeology and other humorous digs ...

How long may a Cemetery Act resist change and having other administrations stack upon it other laws?

It helps to read Cemetery Acts and environmental decrees that state where stuff can be put ... with complex acts ... it may not be simple for those that take the simple route. As time passes the essence seeks exit ...

No matter how you try and please all ... someone will be unhappy and raise a stink ... perhaps metaphorically as essence.

Whatever it is a strange thing ... cooperation! Mire thought to the hand maid ...
 
Mrs.Anteater said:
I was surprised to hear that in Canada you buy graveyard plots for “ eternity”. Is that the same in big cities? In Berlin thereis a time limit of , I believe, 25 years and then you have to renew/ pay again, or it goes to someone else.
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For those who dont want cremation, it takes up less land if youre buried standing up.
 
When my dad died he was cremated. There was a short, standard service. Then a purchased memorial plaque was applied to a wall in the cemetery grounds. Many years later my mum died and the same traditions were followed. However, when asked if a plaque was required my sister asked "will it be close to our dad?" The staff member checked the records and explained that his plaque was due to be taken down the following year. We had the option of paying again. The decision was not to bother with either plaque as no one went to look at them! This was in the UK where a fair % of land is merely holding dead bodies. I'm pretty sure there were headstones from the 1700's in my local churchyard. I also know they belonged to rich people not peasants!

How do I stop my keyboard from typing italics????
 
KayTheCurler said:
How do I stop my keyboard from typing italics????
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If it's just doing it here - should default to reg settings when you do your next post. Or on the top menu bar line - click on the Capital I - it's 3rd from left on my screen , but yours may be different. That should either turn the italic on or off!
 
Carolla said:
If it's just doing it here - should default to reg settings when you do your next post. Or on the top menu bar line - click on the Capital I - it's 3rd from left on my screen , but yours may be different. That should either turn the italic on or off!
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On a phone screen it's 2nd from the left (Remove Formatting is hidden to save space) but basically in the same spot.
 
@KayTheCurler No, I think it just implies emphasis on certain words - or sometimes somebody else’s words taken out of an article or something - but it made your question about how to remove italics seem a bit humorous (to me anyway). :)
 
Jobam said:
Do you have any plans made for your funeral?
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Nothing set in stone (so to speak) at the moment. General themes have arisen.
Jobam said:
Things like, where will it be held, in a church,
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Ideally. Not really sure which one as I am professionally semi-nomadic.
Jobam said:
Will there be music? Your favourite hymns or songs?
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Sure. I'll probably have to be a bit more directive about this as my tastes are a bit ecclectic. I expect that I will want Weird Al's "I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead to feature prominently during viewings.
Jobam said:
Is there anything you would like to have done at your funeral? Have you thought about this?
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I hope that whoever gets tagged for preaching duty doesn't attempt any eulogizing. If I had my way it would be on the Christian Hope of Resurrection.
 
Mrs.Anteater said:
I was surprised to hear that in Canada you buy graveyard plots for “ eternity”. Is that the same in big cities? In Berlin thereis a time limit of , I believe, 25 years and then you have to renew/ pay again, or it goes to someone else.
Click to expand...
In Quebec, the norm is for a plot to be available for 99 years. Payment can extend the term for another 99 years. Barring extension, at the end of the first 99 years, the remains, I believe, whatever might be left are removed, not sure to where. In Montreal, there is one not-for-profit cemetery that has been in existence for years/centuries that now has three sites on the island and the plots there are purchased "in perpetuity". I looked a bit at the law governing cemeteries, death, funerals, green funerals a few years ago but can't remember a lot of the details.
 
Pre-planning is helpful to the immediate family who are left to mourn and tend to the funeral details. It works well for someone who is certain that the pre-planning and payments will be practical at the time a funeral will occur. But if there is doubt about where one will be at the time of death, plans without payments and contracts are probably better. Elderly parents sometimes move across the country to be with a child in later life or move "back home" to their original community in later years.
 
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