New girlfriend and Christmas

[Mrs.Anteater]

Anyone remember the days when you didn't introduce your family to your "steady" unless they were "the one"?

I think that was around 1935. I was born in the sixties, thankfully, times have changed.

 

[crazyheart]

Sometimes, most times, @chansen cracks me up. Can't you see him sneaking behind Claire.

Poor girl.

 

[chansen]

I'm joking about the shooting thing, but her boyfriends will fear me.

 

[Naman]

I'm joking about the shooting thing, but her boyfriends will fear me.

So Chansen, any thoughts about when Claire will be inviting a boyfriend for Christmas and what would be an appropriate gift?

 

[chansen]

A picture of me with my hunting buddies.

 

[revjohn]

My son started dating someone new early in the fall. She is lovely. She is smart, and athletic, and a strong woman. I like her a lot (my son definitely has a "type" and they tend to be strong, intelligent women who have their act together). Honestly, she and my son are more compatible than his former girlfriend. I can see that clear as day. They enjoy a lot of the same things, view the world through a similar set of values, and openly have fun and laugh together.

Hurray! What isn't to love about love itself?

So here's my question. Do I get her a Christmas gift?

Hmmmmmmm.

I always purchased my son's previous girlfriend a gift

Precedent-setting confession. Should have had a lawyer vet the post before replying. Doomed.

I did purchase her a small birthday gift, but her birthday is the day AFTER my son's, and since we were celebrating his it seemed wrong not to include her, given that her birthday was in a few hours!

Thoughts?

Aren't you married to a lawyer? Textbook self-incrimination in this post.

Since you asked though. You are already into the gift-giving phase of this relationship might as well enjoy it.

 

[revjohn]

I hope my daughter brings her first boyfriend home quickly. After you shoot the first one, word will spread.

After my eldest daughter brought her first boyfriend over I was forbidden from making contact on first visits.

It was something about me raving about the sharp edge I put on my axe that crossed some line somebody drew somewhere without letting me know.

Youngest daughter suggested I try it on the tree and I just casually said, "No. I love that tree. What I really need is something I don't much care about."

Since then I am not to be seen or heard. Especially not to be seen sharpening axes or muttering about how it could cleave flesh from bone.

 

[Waterfall]

I think that was around 1935. I was born in the sixties, thankfully, times have changed.

Maybe even the 20's which is when my parents were born and of course they probably inherited this from their parents. Some traditions are better tossed, but I do remember being brought up this way. English/Irish descent, I wonder if that was part of it.

 

[chansen]

After my eldest daughter brought her first boyfriend over I was forbidden from making contact on first visits.

It was something about me raving about the sharp edge I put on my axe that crossed some line somebody drew somewhere without letting me know.

Youngest daughter suggested I try it on the tree and I just casually said, "No. I love that tree. What I really need is something I don't much care about."

Since then I am not to be seen or heard. Especially not to be seen sharpening axes or muttering about how it could cleave flesh from bone.

Oooh, that gives me an idea. I'd be lying about guns and hunting buddies, but I legitimately have a 16" wood shop bandsaw that is much like the saws butchers use to cut up meat, right through the bone. The cabinet opens up for cleaning. I could probably butcher an animal into pieces small enough to distribute through the forest to feed scavengers in an afternoon and be all cleaned up by suppertime.

 

[Mendalla]

Oooh, that gives me an idea. I'd be lying about guns and hunting buddies, but I legitimately have a 16" wood shop bandsaw that is much like the saws butchers use to cut up meat, right through the bone. The cabinet opens up for cleaning. I could probably butcher an animal into pieces small enough to distribute through the forest to feed scavengers in an afternoon and be all cleaned up by suppertime.

You're scary. You and @revjohn both. My son has been warned to stay away from girls with fathers like you.

 

[chansen]

That's kinda the point.

 

[Mendalla]

That's kinda the point.

Yeah, except I wonder if I should have left off the "like you" part. Maybe he'd be better off sticking to daughters of single mothers and orphans.

 

[chansen]

Honestly, the whole thing is a facade, of course. My daughter will have boyfriends, and they may stay a long time or not, and that's not my call. I get that. When she is mature enough, I want her to experience life. Boys are going to try to get in her pants and even the good ones still want that, but as long as it's not an abusive or controlling relationship, I'll be cool with her making those decisions. My job right now is to let her know, between the sarcastic comments, that she is loved and supported and should be proud of herself, so she isn't running to boys for their approval.

But there will always be a subtle undertone of violent retribution lurking under the surface with every guy she brings home.

 

[revjohn]

You're scary. You and @revjohn both. My son has been warned to stay away from girls with fathers like you.

You know what they say about the road less traveled right?

It is the better place to dump a body.

 

[revjohn]

The most fun I had was with the first boyfriend my youngest daughter brought home. She was in university by then never really dating much in high-school.

Anyway she constantly talks about the fact that he is a body-builder and probably stronger than me so I should be careful about making threats. I have to point out that it isn't about being tougher all the time. Sometimes being meaner and faster are great advantages. And really when the minister is all smiling and friendly the last thing you think about as he reaches out to shake your hand is that he has a hammer in the other.

She has been preparing him for me because I am unpredictable. Nobody knows where the trap is they just know I will spring as soon as it is triggered. She tells him I am a fan of spicy food.

Poor, young, lovestruck, simpleton. Eager to prove himself equal to any man she might dare to admire offers that he also likes spicy food.

Hi-jinks ensue.

They wander into the house and straight to the kitchen. Hannah asks if Stephen can try some of my hot sauce. I hesitate because I'm not generous with my spicy stuff. Anyway, she isn't really asking my permission she is really inviting me to join Stephen in this simple test of strength. So I play coy. She reaches for a bottle, "That stuff? Well it isn't really that hot it is more sweet than heat." I don't bother to mention which kind of peppers are used. So she reaches for another bottle. "That's hotter than the first but it doesn't have much kick." She nabs the hottest stuff currently in the fridge, a Habanero sauce that has some kick.

Louisiana Hot Sauce she says and I see Stephen swallow nervously and he sounds a bit unsure.

This is going to be cruel.

So body-builder Stephen starts putting a sandwich together, cleaning out most of the leftovers and significantly eliminating next weeks provisions. Hannah explains that he needs to eat a lot to build muscle mass. She can see me getting edgy as Stephen starts to hover up the pastrami and corned beef.

So she decides to helpfully put some hot-sauce on the sandwich. I know that this is going to be entertaining when Stephen states that he would prefer to do it himself. He is very conservative in his application of hot-sauce.

Hannah will have none of that.

"Stephen . . . You'll never taste it with so little."

At this point I am thinking Stephen's parents need to protect their son from my daughter.

She cajoles him into putting on more than he wants. Of course, once it is on, I up the tension by saying that I generally don't use that much, it seems like a lot of sauce.

Nothing left now but to take a bite.

Here is where Stephen won me. He clearly had bitten off more than he could chew. We all recognized the signs. He was a trooper though and kept pushing more in. He asked for a glass of water and that is when we knew what a heat rookie he really was. Of course, we let him have it.

He got halfway through his sandwich before admitting defeat. Hannah told him it was okay, not everyone was as tough as her dad, the minister (salt in wounds or what?) I just looked at the second half of the sandwich and asked if he was really going to waste all of it. It took him another ten minutes to choke it down.

During which time I made a sandwich of my own, less meat and stuff, just as much hot sauce. And casually ate it without taking a sip of anything. Let me know when you come back and I'll get us something really hot to try.

He doesn't even try to keep up anymore. Hannah loves to look in the fridge for something to taunt him with. I will have to find something for when they arrive on Thursday.

 

[crazyheart]

scary

 

[Luce NDs]

I hope my daughter brings her first boyfriend home quickly. After you shoot the first one, word will spread.

The night was dark and the sky was blue, through the air something flew ... OH crap ...

 

[chansen]

The night was dark and the sky was blue, through the air something flew ... OH crap ...

said Claire, "I think that's Drew."

 

[Luce NDs]

said Claire, I think that's Drew.

From what are extracted druids .. children of the night ... that are never born at a decent hour ...

 

[Pinga]

Haha, @revjohn , is Stephen the father of qball?