Being hurt by another person

[paradox3]

Really interested in your thoughts about being hurt by another person. I have placed this in R&F because there can be a spiritual aspect to the question.

Let's avoid getting terribly specific.

As much as we might want to, it can be difficult to forgive and forget. I think anger can fade to resentment but not disappear altogether. Often there is hurt underneath that anger.

What is the final step in letting it go? Is it okay to be left with a lack of respect or dislike for the person? Is detachment the key step?

 

[Luce NDs]

I won't say because those disposed to power will not like it ...

 

[Luce NDs]

I won't say because those disposed to power will not like it ...

It does provide a medium for myth, anecdote and other though ... so express it elsewhere ... many powers will absolutely not read something that is anecdotal ... timely entanglements! These may manifest as ectoplasm ... really imagined to a paradigm ... abstract? Beyond the mass and bulk ...

 

[paradox3]

It does provide a medium for myth, anecdote and other though ... so express it elsewhere ... many powers will absolutely not read something that is anecdotal ... timely entanglements! These may manifest as ectoplasm ... really imagined to a paradigm ... abstract? Beyond the mass and bulk ...

If you would like to actually answer the OP, I would be interested in your answer. But carry on.

 

[Jaebius]

Really interested in your thoughts about being hurt by another person. I have placed this in R&F because there can be a spiritual aspect to the question.

Let's avoid getting terribly specific.

As much as we might want to, it can be difficult to forgive and forget. I think anger can fade to resentment but not disappear altogether. Often there is hurt underneath that anger.

What is the final step in letting it go? Is it okay to be left with a lack of respect or dislike for the person? Is detachment the key step?

Hope you weren't just hurt by someone, p3. It's something that happens a lot. There's often real pain hiding under anger, and it's tough to deal with.

Forgiving is about taking back the control that pain has on you. For me, the last thing I do to let it go is give that pain to God.

As time goes by, God asks us to be kind. This doesn't mean you should let people who hurt you back into your life. Good personal boundaries are also a way of showing love.

We Christians are asked to do the dangerous work of loving others.

In the end, forgiving is an act of kindness. It lets God do things we can't even understand right now. And that shows how much he loves us

 

[paradox3]

Hope you weren't just hurt by someone, p3

Not recently, no.

. It's something that happens a lot. There's often real pain hiding under anger, and it's tough to deal with.

Yes, I agree about the pain lurking under anger. Anger can also become painful to experience.

 

[unsafe]

Really interested in your thoughts about being hurt by another person

Being hurt by someone can lead to very negative emotional effects on the person ---and if left to fester can become deep rooted in angry revenge and can lead to a bad outcome --for both parties ----I say ---learning how to acknowledge and process the Hurt you feel needs to be practiced every time you get hurt so you do not suppress the hurt so it penetrates and takes root in your heart and mind

As much as we might want to, it can be difficult to forgive and forget

I think anger can fade to resentment but not disappear altogether. Often there is hurt underneath that anger.


What is the final step in letting it go? Is it okay to be left with a lack of respect or dislike for the person? Is detachment the key step?

It can be very difficult to forgive a person who has hurt you in some way -----I think the only way without God's Help that a person can forgive someone is to try and understand that we are flawed human beings and we all make mistakes and you may not know what this person just went through themselves so they are lashing out at you ----when they are really just trying to get rid of their own hurt --by projecting it on you -----but again a difficult task to focus on another when your hurt yourself ---

you are right --anger can lead to resentment ---which is a feeling of bitterness ----which can lead to health issues if left unchecked -----bitterness can also keep you yoked to the person your bitter towards ----so your like your chained to the person ----the person is controlling your emotions through your bitterness ----

I call it -----your in People Bondage ------

The step in letting go ----
Well again without God's help ----it will take the person to regain a positive mind frame and put distance between the person who is hurt and the person who hurt the person -----it would be relying on all self induced measures ----focus on your own needs not the other person's hurt -----go for counselling -----

Is it Ok to have lack of respect or dislike for the person ---
In this world's way of dealing with someone who hurt you I would say yes it is OK to have a lack of respect for the person or dislike the person who hurt you --

AI agrees ---

AI

Yes, it's perfectly normal and understandable to dislike someone who has hurt you, as it's a natural emotional response to feeling betrayed or wronged.

I say -----In God's way of dealing with a person who hurt you ----it would Not be OK to dislike the Person ----as God's Children are to Agape all people and that includes our enemies --Agape loves the unlovely ---Agape holds no wrongs -----

So the World's way of dealing with hurt done to us is different from God's way of dealing with the hurt done to us ---

So it depends on the lens you use on how you deal with a person who hurts you ---The World lens or the Spiritual lens -----

 

[Mystic]

A key issue is the line that divides telling people what they want to hear from what they need to hear.
Put differently, how should tough love be applied?

 

[Pavlos Maros]

Really interested in your thoughts about being hurt by another person. I have placed this in R&F because there can be a spiritual aspect to the question.

Let's avoid getting terribly specific.

As much as we might want to, it can be difficult to forgive and forget. I think anger can fade to resentment but not disappear altogether. Often there is hurt underneath that anger.

What is the final step in letting it go? Is it okay to be left with a lack of respect or dislike for the person? Is detachment the key step?

Letting go after being hurt is a journey of emotional layers, with the final step being acceptance of reality as it is, not the harmful behaviour.
It’s okay to feel dislike or lack of respect for someone who hurt you, forgiveness is about freeing yourself, not restoring trust.
Detachment helps, allowing you to observe your feelings without being consumed by them.
This process can often have a spiritual element, where recognizing shared humanity brings peace, though it doesn't excuse the harm.
Ultimately, letting go is about reclaiming your peace, regardless of the other person’s acknowledgment.

 

[paradox3]

@Pavlos Maros
Thanks for your post.

"Accepting reality as it is" is wonderful concept. We often hear people say "it is what it is" and this often comes across as trite.

Your wording is much better.

Then the next step is how to handle the reality.

 

[Pavlos Maros]

@Pavlos Maros
Thanks for your post.

"Accepting reality as it is" is wonderful concept. We often hear people say "it is what it is" and this often comes across as trite.

Your wording is much better.

Then the next step is how to handle the reality.

Exactly. Once you’ve accepted the reality of what happened, handling it means maintaining your peace and setting healthy boundaries.
It’s about acknowledging your feelings, but not letting them control your life.
It involves detaching from the emotional weight of the situation while still respecting your own needs and limits.
The goal is to find inner peace and move forward without being defined by the past.

 

[Jaebius]

A key issue is the line that divides telling people what they want to hear from what they need to hear.
Put differently, how should tough love be applied?

It's a tricky balance, trying to be both kind and honest. Empty praise doesn't really help people grow, but blunt honesty can sting.

If you're going to give someone tough love, make sure it comes from a place of caring. Jesus showed us how to be truthful while still being gentle and seeing the person's worth. Before you say something difficult, ask yourself if you're saying it out of love.

Tough love is like planting a seed of truth and trusting that God will help it grow at the right time. It's about holding people accountable, but with compassion. Remember, love isn't just about making people feel good, it's about helping them heal.

 

[unsafe]

AI on worldly Tough Love

AI
"Worldly tough love" refers to a human approach to stern or harsh treatment with the intention of helping someone in the long run, often seen as a way to encourage growth and independence, but can be ineffective or harmful if applied incorrectly.

Overly harsh, authoritative, or uncaring approaches can damage relationships and undermine the person's ability to grow.

 

[Pavlos Maros]

It's a tricky balance, trying to be both kind and honest. Empty praise doesn't really help people grow, but blunt honesty can sting.

If you're going to give someone tough love, make sure it comes from a place of caring. Jesus showed us how to be truthful while still being gentle and seeing the person's worth. Before you say something difficult, ask yourself if you're saying it out of love.

Tough love is like planting a seed of truth and trusting that God will help it grow at the right time. It's about holding people accountable, but with compassion. Remember, love isn't just about making people feel good, it's about helping them heal.

Tough love is a contradiction in terms. How can anyone claim they love a person when they are treating them harshly. Love, by its very nature, should be kind, patient, and supportive.
People often justify "tough love" by assuming they know what’s best, but they are most likely wrong.
What they think may be helping could actually hurt, harsh treatment wont lead the victim to grow. But to hatred and resentment.

 

[Luce NDs]

Tough love is a contradiction in terms. How can anyone claim they love a person when they are treating them harshly. Love, by its very nature, should be kind, patient, and supportive.
People often justify "tough love" by assuming they know what’s best, but they are most likely wrong.
What they think may be helping could actually hurt, harsh treatment wont lead the victim to grow. But to hatred and resentment.

Simply put it is an ability to beat the crap out of people that disagree with you regardless of their scattered thought patterns! These may appear as shards ...

 

[Jaebius]

Tough love is a contradiction in terms. How can anyone claim they love a person when they are treating them harshly. Love, by its very nature, should be kind, patient, and supportive.
People often justify "tough love" by assuming they know what’s best, but they are most likely wrong.
What they think may be helping could actually hurt, harsh treatment wont lead the victim to grow. But to hatred and resentment.

Jump back, Pavlos. I didn't say to be harsh.

Love is all about wanting the best for people. Sometimes, showing love means gently steering someone toward the right path.

How you do it matters a lot. It must come from a place of wanting them to grow. Real love makes sure you're kind when you correct someone.

Love needs to be honest and fair. What we do must always bring people closer to love

 

[Luce NDs]

Jump back, Pavlos. I didn't say to be harsh.

Love is all about wanting the best for people. Sometimes, showing love means gently steering someone toward the right path.

How you do it matters a lot. It must come from a place of wanting them to grow. Real love makes sure you're kind when you correct someone.

Love needs to be honest and fair. What we do must always bring people closer to love

Love can be really corrupted into a Jan 6 type of positive demonstration according to some perspectives! Careful of the view ...

 

[WhyCzar]

Tough love is a contradiction in terms.

Forgiveness without accountability could also be a contradiction in terms?

If there is no accountability what is there to forgive?

Accountability with the purpose to heal and educate and not condemn or seek revenge, of course.

Forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind, body, and soul.

Probably the reason why so many spiritual practices encourage forgiveness.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice"

"When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that you may be forgiven."

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors"

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone"

On the other hand, spirituality should never be an excuse to manipulate abused and oppressed people into extending “forgiveness" without accountability. IMO

For myself it is always a struggle between accountability and forgiveness.

 

[WhyCzar]

What is the final step in letting it go?

For myself it is always a struggle between accountability and forgiveness.

 

[unsafe]

Love needs to be honest and fair. What we do must always bring people closer to love

Jaebius you throw out this word LOVE a Lot -----so what Love are you speaking of all of the time ----Human Love or Agape -----as not all people can have Agape -----all people start out with human love ---Agape is a fruit of the indwelling Holy Spirit ----

All unbelievers can have is Human Love which involves your feelings and emotions -----and your feelings and emotions go up and down all the time ----this love is limited and will disappoint and will fail a lot cause it is running on feelings ------it does not come from the heart ----- and so most of the time this love cannot be honest and fair cause we are Flawed human beings -----this love runs like a see-saw ---up and down ----and is not stable the best of times -----

It is fine and dandy to keep saying we are to love one another but without God and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit your Love is a flawed love and will not be honest and fair most of the time ----as it runs on how your feeling that day -----

As a Born Again Christian all you can do is be truthful and tell them that real Love --Agape does not run on feelings or emotions and is unconditional ----and will never fail them ---and the only way to have this love is by Receiving Jesus -----and hope that they take your advice -

AI

Yes, human love is largely driven by emotions, with the brain playing a crucial role through the release of neurotransmitters and hormones that influence our feelings and behaviors.

Human love, often rooted in emotions and self-interest,
contrasts with "agape," representing selfless, unconditional love, a love that transcends personal feelings and focuses on the well-being of others.