Kids in college/university

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I do. Lard is the only fat that makes really flaky pastry. Also, while I'm not particularly interested in french fries under most circumstances, homemade potato chips cooked twice in lard have yet to be excelled in my opinion. Also, homemade bread, which I make a lot of, cries out for homemade butter. And I really like the high fat yogurts.
 
actually Mechanics (automotive technician) Red Seal) was well supported by the government and my eldest graduated debt free. He collected EI for school time and there were grants available after every level. It's a work then a school module repeat 4 times program here in BC,

My middle was self-financing for her last 3 years of BA . Her fist year she lived at home-and benefited from her savings (she worked the year before), cash I had put aside for all of them-initially from my mother), a surprise gift from my parents elderly neigbour and a damages settlement from being hit by a car in grade 10. Oh and survivor's benefit (200 a month) because her dad died.

My youngest only did college to finish off his high school but he also benefited from survivors benefit. It stops at 20 I think.

so 2 of them have completed post secondary and no debts but certainly not the way I would have foreseen it.
 
"Empty nest" is sometimes a lot longer becoming a reality than you'd think. I've got one back under my roof again (and I've more or less agreed she can stay until she's finished her diploma in 3 years), and another on an extended visit, although I drove him to his Dad's yesterday.
 
Started Claire's RESP right away. She's been the best investor in the family by far. I wish our RSPs returned close to what her RESP has. So she'll be fine that way. Zach has to hope the money doesn't run out. Claire may follow in mom's footsteps and get free ride scholarships the whole way. Looking at Zach, that doesn't appear to be an option.
 
Tabitha said:
sometimes the bigger issue is what is not said: Mendalla what plans do you and your wife have as you become empty nesters?
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None as of yet. She's teaching full time fall and winter semesters this coming academic year so it won't be much of an issue except on weekends (and even then she's often busy with marking and prep) until next summer. After that, she starts phasing to retirement so that's when we will really start to feel the change.
 
Jae said:
In my experience, ebooks are the way to go. The Tyndale bookstore will buy some textbooks back, but overall using ebooks is still a better savings.
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I personally can't stand e-books for academic reading. I own a Kindle and use it faithfully for pleasure reading, but when it comes to "work" I like to have multiple books open at the same time - so I prefer hard copies. I also tend to have conversations (in writing) with the authors in the margins.
 
My eldest is heading off to his fourth of of university in the fall. He lived in a faith-based residence (Conrad Grebel at U of W) for his first two years and had a fantastic experience. Between his summer earnings, RESPs, and our support our son will graduate debt free from his first degree. My husband and I have chosen to fund our children's first degrees. We have made it clear that the conversation shifts for any subsequent degrees, though we have full intention of helping to the best of our ability. Right now eldest son has plans to go on to some type of additional schooling, but his plans remain a bit hazy. Depending on the day his plans fluctuate between an MBA (or some related business program), law school, or teacher's college.
 
Tabitha said:
and that's good for your wife Mendalla but what about you? What are your feelings and plans?
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It is this conversation about empty-nest that really hits home. I have loved watching my eldest head off to university. He is having such a positive experience, has made great friends, and has transformed into this amazing young adult. That has been the easy part! But entering the early stages of empty nest is proving disorienting for me and I have not even fully arrived at the empty nest. Eldest son is largely out on his own, specialson will head to a group home in the fall, and youngest son remains at home for another two years - but youngest son is very busy. He left this morning at 7:30 and won't return until after 9pm because of school, followed by a choir rehearsal, followed by a play rehearsal. So while my nest isn't empty, my parenting and caregiving demands have dropped off substantially.

On one hand that lessening of responsibility has been great. I have had time to breathe and pursue some of my own goals. I am a doctoral candidate, I teach part time at the local university, and I volunteer extensively. In other words, I keep busy. But the transition from being largely defined as a mom and a caregiver to.....well, something else (I don't know what yet), isn't as smooth as I expected. On the outside I look like I have it all together I think. But just keeping busy isn't necessarily "doing it" for me since, for me, it also includes a fundamental shift in personal identity. There is a sense that this transition, while ultimately positive, won't be without some speed bumps.
 
DaisyJane said:
law school, or teacher's college
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I am increasingly hearing that these aren't the lucrative careers they used to be unless you're very mobile. Certainly, around here, they are closing and consolidating schools which inevitably means fewer teachers. Law depends on what you want you do. My cousin quite enjoys her career as a union lawyer (basically, doing labour and other cases for union members) but my my high school buddy who did law was in private practice and burned out on the treadmill of racking up billable hours fairly quickly. Not sure what he's up to these days but last I heard, he had quit practicing and was teaching in the law clerk program at a community college.

Little M is still interested in the idea of doing meteorology after he gets his comp sci (the two are fairly compatible nowadays due to the amount of computer modelling done for weather research and forecasting). That would probably mean grad studies South of the border (no good programs in Canada, though he mentioned a post-baccalaureate diploma program at Dal one time). However, he also has other interests so who knows at this point. We are assuming the possibility of a second degree but maybe if he finds a comp sci job he likes while doing co-op that could change.

DaisyJane said:
Conrad Grebel at U of W
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My BA is from Waterloo. Never spent any time at Grebel but did a couple RS courses at its neighbour St. Paul's (UCCan).
 
Tabitha said:
What are your feelings and plans?
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As I have alluded to here occasionally, writing is my hobby and I may use the additional time to ramp that up with a view to writing in my retirement. The Internet has blown things wide open in terms of amateur writers being able to publish and even turn semi-pro on their own. That's more longterm.

The most immediate thing, I hope, will be just being able to read or watch stuff I want to with less interruption due to family stuff.
 
Mendalla.

I hear you on the law school thing. My husband is a lawyer at one of the big firms - meaning he lives on the hamster wheel of billable hours, and episodic burnout is totally a thing in our world. Personally, I don't want that for my son, though it is his life and his choice.

I will be surprised if he chooses law. He has seen how his father lives (or doesn't, sometimes) and I don't think he really wants that. I think law school is thrown into the conversation to suggest he's exploring options (and perhaps a way to also tell us he's doing well academically). My guess is that he will end up in some sort of business program. Though these days he is very involved in the summer outdoor education program at the camp he works at (and loves it) and I wonder if that might shift the teacher college interest. I think he would make a fantastic teacher. He works with kids at camp and has grown up with a profoundly disabled brother - so disability doesn't rattle him and he strongly values inclusion. He strikes me as a young adult who won't mind teaching in the deep north, or wherever, to get his foot in the door. He is up for adventure!
 
DaisyJane said:
He has seen how his father lives (or doesn't, sometimes) and I don't think he really wants that.
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That was our experience with our son - watching his dad who was a dedicated teacher - working long hours at home. When he talked with us about career choice, one of his parameters was working hard AT work and having his leisure time for himself & his family. Smart kid. It was interesting to hear how he had been taking in what was going on in family life.

Re outdoor education - Lakehead U in Thunder Bay has an excellent programme in outdoor education - friend of ours graduated from there & has worked as a teacher in several outdoor education programmes since then - one was running the outdoor education centre for a private school, and now as the resident teacher in a local nature conservancy.

Amazing to hear your oldest is now going into FOURTH year!! Where does the time go??
 
Change in identity was the biggest issue as all my kids left home. That and some loneliness. I like having people around-which is why I have the 3 students I have now.
But I also enjoyed the independence and time to pursue my interests without considering others.
 
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