10 Examples of Straight Privilege

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Jobam

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http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/03/examples-straight-privilege/

US.

10 Examples of Straight Privilege
March 29, 2015 by Erin Tatum

In spite of increasing acceptance and support for queer people, we still live in a society that affords heterosexual individuals more rights, power, and freedom.

Straight people might not consciously think about or acknowledge it, but straight privilege influences everything – from their daily lives to their career goals.

As a result, straight narratives vastly differ from queer ones. Let’s break down some of the ways that straight privilege comes into play.

1. Your Orientation Is Naturalized from Birth
One day while I was shopping, I was simultaneously repulsed and amused to find baby onesies that said things like “Ladies Man” and “Lock Up Your Daughters.”

Putting aside the obvious gross misogyny, I couldn’t believe how early people jump at the chance to shoehorn their children into heterosexual narratives.

A similar phenomenon occurs whenever baby boys smile at me in the grocery store. Their mothers will say something like “Look at how he’s flirting with you!” Ma’am, your son barely has a grasp of object permanence, so I doubt he knows what a girl is.

Heteronormativity is established before kids are even out of diapers.

Although it’s annoying and borderline creepy, it gives straight people an easy template for romance.

When a boy has a crush on a girl or vice versa, they don’t have to question why they like that person or the larger implications of liking that person. Their attraction to another gender is already anticipated and expected.

2. You Don’t Have to Come Out
Building off of #1, you don’t have to announce your heterosexuality to the world.

Very few parents are going to be surprised or angry that their child is straight. People that you’re sexually compatible with are still going to be readily available without having to confirm that you’re both straight.

And if you’re thinking, “Queer people only have to come out once! It’s just a matter of gathering up the courage and ripping off the Band-Aid!” you’re wrong. Queer people have to come out over and over again throughout their lives.

Next time you go to Thanksgiving dinner or score a date or make a friend, be grateful you don’t have to discuss and defend your sexual identity.

3. You Don’t Have to Justify Your Identity or the Legitimacy of Your Orientation
No one is going to insist that heterosexuality is just a phase. You won’t be asked to prove your straightness by rattling off your romantic or sexual history or trace it back to a particular moment in your childhood. You won’t be told to pick a side.

Heterosexuality is already legitimate in that it’s backed by centuries of sociocultural dominance and political laws.

You can move through the world with your orientation and lifestyle unquestioned.

4. You Can Get Married
Straight couples can get married just about anywhere, whereas same-sex marriage is only legal in 30 states thus far.

5. You Cannot Be Fired for Your Job Because of Your Sexual Orientation
It might be unsettling to hear this in 2015, but you can still be fired for being queer in the majority of states.

6. You Don’t Have to Fear Violence Because of Your Orientation
Depending on the area, a queer person risks facing everything from street harassment to hate violence – and, yes, even the threat of being murdered – when they go out in public.

Unfortunately, sexuality driven hate violence became so common that claiming “gay panic” was a readily used defense in criminal cases, although states are working to outlaw it.

Straight couples can hold hands or kiss in public without fear of scrutiny, retaliation, or death.

7. You Don’t Have to Worry About Losing Your Family, Friends, or Financial Support as a Result of Revealing Your Sexuality
Sometimes, when a queer person decides to come out, they risk disappointing their parents or losing a friend.

In more extreme cases, parents will stop paying their child’s college tuition or kick them out of the house. In fact, 40% of homeless youth are queer and trans kids.

Sure, sexuality can create some messy situations no matter who you like, but straight kids probably aren’t going to lose the roof over their heads if they get caught with their significant other.

8. You Have Ample (And Fairly Accurate) Media Representation
Just about every form of media is positively dripping with heterosexuality. TV shows, magazines, music, film – everywhere you look, straight people are flirting or getting it on or realizing they’re meant to be.

From dewy Disney fantasies to awkward coming-of-age tales and zany romcoms, the heterosexual couple is a bedrock of our culture. In seemingly endless incarnations, straight people always manage to get their happy ending, no matter how many obstacles are in their way or how stubborn they are.

As for queer people…not so much.

It’s taken us decades to get overt representation on screen. Diversity might be increasing, but even as queer characters start to get bona fide love stories, there are still subtle codes that reinforce the implication that we’re always a little bit less than worthy of true fulfillment.

Remember that rosy coming-of-age story? Replace it with homophobic and/or religious parents, a deeply closeted lover, and a heaping helping of self-loathing. Lighthearted or nonchalant stories of sexual self-discovery are few and far between.

Gay male characters tend to fall into one of two stereotypes: the effeminate outcast who’s horribly bullied or the closeted jock whose internalized homophobia underlies a temper and a violent streak.

If you’re a lesbian, put simply, you’re always crying or dying. Writers have a nasty habit of killing them off as part of some half-assed, poorly executed social commentary – in subtext, of course!

Let’s just say I look forward to the day when every channel plays reruns of a cheesy sitcom about your average American same-sex couple and their quirky kids who get into too many shenanigans.

9. You Can Talk About Your Partner and Your Love Life without Worrying About Accidentally Outing Yourself
Whether it’s hastily changing pronouns in stories or creating fictional significant others or just avoiding the subject of dating at all costs, queer people often have to go to meticulous lengths to avoid outing themselves.

Everyone has different reasons for not wanting to be out to certain people or not wanting to be out at all. Regardless of circumstance, it can be very stressful for LGBTQIA+ folks to navigate even casual conversation with the constant fear of outing yourself to the wrong person.

Imagine not being able to speak freely about the person you love or just not being able to swap silly dating misadventure stories with your friends.

Straight people have the luxury to divulge as much information as they want about their personal lives without worrying about the reactions of their audience.

10. You Have the Opportunity to Learn About Your Privilege, Rather Than Experiencing Oppression Firsthand
It is important to understand and recognize straight privilege in order to better ally yourself with the LGBTQIA+ community and to help create a future where the institutions that perpetuate such privilege and oppression no longer have an influence.

Use your position of power to amplify the voices of those who might not otherwise be heard.
 
"The normal does not exist. The average does not exist. We know only a very large but probably finite phalanx of discrete space-time events encountered and endured."
--timothy x. flanagan

here's to more people learning how to see outside of their BS, that the World that they inhabit is actually made up of little worlds, vast congeries of BS, that don't automatically share the same likes, dislikes, categories of what is deemed sacred & blasphemous, etc etc etc

towards a place more like the ideal of, even though one may not share another's lifestyle or even agree with it, they can treat the other person as a fellow human being, where we are protected from each other's need to control other people, to hurt that which makes us uncomfortable (all the iterations of 'that person's lifestyle/thinking is abhorrent'), a place where cultural Marxists & free market capitalists, where anti-corporate Greenpeacers & oil sands promoters can live together without violencing each other through laws that try to make their ideas & thoughts illegal...
 
Good list ... gives us some pause for reflection ... thanks.
 
Why confine disadvantaged groups to sexual orientation?

Any group that fits outside male, white, straight, finds themselves at a disadvantage......

Howzabout women, mentally ill, physically handicapped, racial groups other than white, refugees and asylum seekers, unemployed, under-educated, etc.... It's a long list.



I also tend to think seeing an individual as part of a group - rather than an individual - also has many disadvantages.
Seems to me that if we could see Tom, Harry, Betty, Helen, - rather than seeing them belong to a group - this would go a long way to alleviating disadvantage.
 
I think what you say is true to some extent Pilgrims - some of the points on the list may also apply to others from diverse backgrounds. I didn't have the sense that the author intended it as exclusive of others - more a tool to trigger thought about experiences that LGBTQ people may experience that we've not thought of, as the situations are largely outside of our privileged experience.

For me though, as a white anglo-saxon, middle income, heterosexual woman, I have not had to face some of these issues as others have. If the point of the list is to promote reflection on our own life and by comparison the lived experiences of many others, I think it does present some interesting situations for thought.

I am reminded of a comment by a friend who travelled alone to Africa - she found herself sitting in an airport, the only white person present in the crowded space, and noted how very odd & somewhat uncomfortable it was for her to be a distinct minority, an outsider - as in Canada she had never been in that position. There is much we take for granted.
 
I've been thinking of these as they come up, both of my privileges and where I'm not privileged. It seems that straight, white, male, wealth comes up often, and sometimes able bodied is thrown in. I have abled bodied privilege in many ways. It's certain health privileges I don't have, and they rarely come up.

When you read articles about privilege, things like representation, seeing yourself in a group often comes up. That's something that I often never get. I might find others with health struggles, but unless I'm at a groups specifically for hereditary angioedema or at a clinic, I'm not around others with the same problems. Those who have to deal with the stigma of being an IV drug user to be healthy without it being related to drug withdrawal.

There isn't even an article or a list out there related to that privilege that I have seen. I guess that's a privilege that some disadvantaged groups have that others don't - a community or a group where it's large enough where sometimes there's a token representation, there's multiple places for discussion, etc.

This isn't a criticism of the list - just working through my thoughts publicly.
 
I think what you say is true to some extent Pilgrims - some of the points on the list may also apply to others from diverse backgrounds. I didn't have the sense that the author intended it as exclusive of others - more a tool to trigger thought about experiences that LGBTQ people may experience that we've not thought of, as the situations are largely outside of our privileged experience.

For me though, as a white anglo-saxon, middle income, heterosexual woman, I have not had to face some of these issues as others have. If the point of the list is to promote reflection on our own life and by comparison the lived experiences of many others, I think it does present some interesting situations for thought.

I am reminded of a comment by a friend who travelled alone to Africa - she found herself sitting in an airport, the only white person present in the crowded space, and noted how very odd & somewhat uncomfortable it was for her to be a distinct minority, an outsider - as in Canada she had never been in that position. There is much we take for granted.

Carolla, it's just that I have mixed feelings about seeing anyone as part of a group - rather than as an individual.

The very act of grouping divides people. Also, some groups seem to have the ability to achieve good results for their particular grouping, but not others. (I say this because my "own" group of mental health gets very little general support. There are marches for women, racism, LGBT issues - but when did you read about marches for those living with mental health issues? Certainly not here in Oz!)
All the same, I may have a mental illness - but I'm much more than my illness. I'd far rather be related to as Chris (or even Pilgrim!) than as part of a mental illness group.


On the other hand grouping provides the numbers for people to achieve a change - which is not so easy for individuals. (Even Jesus needed his disciples!)
 
Yes, absolutely Pilgrims - individuals first - then as part of a grouping? Acknowledging that within the group there may be a wide spectrum of individuals. But society does tend to clump - perhaps it gives context for initial response, until the individual characteristics become known.
 
I think what Jobam brings up is a very good example of what the LGBT community has to face. Things I hadn't even thought of because I take these things for granted.
 
Carolla, it's just that I have mixed feelings about seeing anyone as part of a group - rather than as an individual.

The very act of grouping divides people. Also, some groups seem to have the ability to achieve good results for their particular grouping, but not others. (I say this because my "own" group of mental health gets very little general support. There are marches for women, racism, LGBT issues - but when did you read about marches for those living with mental health issues? Certainly not here in Oz!)
All the same, I may have a mental illness - but I'm much more than my illness. I'd far rather be related to as Chris (or even Pilgrim!) than as part of a mental illness group.


On the other hand grouping provides the numbers for people to achieve a change - which is not so easy for individuals. (Even Jesus needed his disciples!)
I think it's generally best to identify someone as an individual first. I think groups are fine though. There are some things that others won't understand on the same level, it's really nice not to be alone with them.

I actually see a fair bit of general support for mental illness. Bell let's talk day is pretty big here. FB memes all of the time too. Maybe not a march, but those are usually protests. I can't think of many marches around here - there's the pro-life groups and the slut walks.
 
I think what Jobam brings up is a very good example of what the LGBT community has to face. Things I hadn't even thought of because I take these things for granted.

its a good more-or-less plain english lens into the Cultural Marxism Belief System, that believes that all inequality is caused by culture (ignoring such other things as genetics or choices)

its connected to Marxism (that strange materialistic german import to Russia), but has taken on its own twist -- starting, i think, around the 1920's with a neo-Marxist school called the Frankfurt School

(recall my many riffs on we live in the worlds that other people create/discover? well, this is another example)

in this BS, it is thought that people are a blank slate upon which any society can instill any value or behaviour

as i've written before, anything can be learned from, there are gems and truths to be found in any behaviour, story, action, whatever -- just be wary aboot taking it literally (as stone cold absolute Truth) :3
 
Why confine disadvantaged groups to sexual orientation?

Any group that fits outside male, white, straight, finds themselves at a disadvantage......

Howzabout women, mentally ill, physically handicapped, racial groups other than white, refugees and asylum seekers, unemployed, under-educated, etc.... It's a long list.



I also tend to think seeing an individual as part of a group - rather than an individual - also has many disadvantages.
Seems to me that if we could see Tom, Harry, Betty, Helen, - rather than seeing them belong to a group - this would go a long way to alleviating disadvantage.

I've seen several of these lists for different groups. At the very least they can shed a little bit of insight into what difficulties various people experience.

I hate labels, too. Can't stand 'em. Who knew I was a __ __ __? Ideally one day we can all just be human beings. I think the purpose of labels is to own them until equality and fair treatment is achieved. They needn't be more than that.
 
Research humanism ... it includes the concept of logi ... if you don't have this in your BS ... you may be left out on the stinking thought conception gift!

Did you know many people say word, redundant rhetoric ... is just so much fecundity coming around for nothing but chitz ... if their psyche is nothing to encounter nowhere! Thus it wasn't as it appeared and the soul was not in it! --- A paraphrase from Louis Armstrong!

"Don't knock it" ... from another string on the "I" approaching "thyself" ... some reflection is required! Thus the perception of a magi lens ... that may be a divergent mirror? So one can abide by A' Palling-Heiseinberg Theory as a deuce of matched dualism! In this one has to see one'self as others do ... an out-of-body incident? That would be temporal soul shattering event allowed by fractal imaging ...

Thus cracked facetiae ... on the face of the persona ... a smile ... :)
 
PAC people ... if you have the gift shine ... in ways unknown to those that don't think believe to be an alien BS!

Thus the unobservant miss so much ... in tune with the God concept of everything inclusive ... can you imagine what is eliminated? This is the automaton of the service industry as it degrades the concept of serving thoughts ... and thus thought departed as denied!

Going to the other side?
 
Did Jah Zues speak subliminally about blind occasions? Perhaps as something unspeakable to fall into ...
 
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