Wills and such

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ChemGal said:
Seems like even when everyone wants the same thing things don't go smoothly. My mom is struggling a bit with her brother with my grandparents estate. No fighting over assets or anything like that, just disagreements with how things should be done - a 2nd person was paid to redo all of the taxes as an example.

Wedding this summer - I was surprised by comments made by a cousin about a mortgage. She has been living in her grandmother's house since her grandmother moved out for increasing levels of care and she died a few years ago. Cousin has had friends as roommates, an ex-boyfriend, and now her husband living there. She has done multiple reno projects over the years. The grandma only had 2 daughters, and she is the only grandchild. I just assumed she had owned the house all this time - nope she had to buy it from her mom and aunt and that got finalized shortly before her wedding. Everyone wanted her to be the owner, but there were issues with actually getting that to happen.

Chemguy and I have been putting off wills - we had a recommendation, we took initial step, seemed too expensive. We have been thoughtful with beneficiaries/successors when we are able to name them on accounts. Seeing some of the red tape that occurs even with a will, we really should move forward on it.
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It's not uncommon to split equally among children. The aunt may choose to leave her share to her niece or charities. The mom may choose to leave her share to her daughter or others. So granddaughter would buy. Then mother might choose to gift her money to help pay down mortgage, or not. It's a fair way to do it
 
It gets even more complicated when remarriages occur after Mom or Dad lose a spouse. Or one child that hasn't had anything to do with the parents/family for years. Or one child that received their share of money before the parents death. So many different scenarios
 
My brothers and I did okay with Dad's estate. There was a negotiation over his share of the family cottage (split between him and his sis when Grandad died) but an agreement was reached reasonably easily. I did taxes since I am the most experienced there, the brother who lived closest handled most of the dealings with his lawyer and banks.
 
Mendalla said:
Dad and his third wife had a prenup that excluded their respective estates from the marital assets. Another thing that simplified the process.
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In my Dad's case, stepmother came into the marriage with not very much and when Dad died she inherited all. When she died much later, none of my Dad's children received anything. Consequently her children received it all.
I would assume in your case both parties could survive financially without the other....my Dad's 2nd wife not so much.
 
I've heard of some people just spending their money as they please and not worrying about providing to their families beyond the grave. Make your own way, in other words.
Even some of the elite billionaires feel this way and are leaving most of their billions to charities or research.
 
Waterfall said:
I would assume in your case both parties could survive financially without the other
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Both had civil service pensions having both worked for Revenue Canada (the old name for CRA).

Waterfall said:
Even some of the elite billionaires feel this way and are leaving most of their billions to charities or research.
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From what I have read, though, it's not like they are giving their families nothing and even a small percentage of a fortune that size is quite a bit. For instance, Gates' kids are, I believe, still destined to get a good chunk of change even if the vast majority of his fortune is either already in, or headed to, the foundation. Let's face it, even getting .01% or something of his money would still make you relatively rich. And Jennifer, his eldest, has a Master's in public health and married into a wealthy family so she's fine no matter what her Dad does.
 
Waterfall said:
In my Dad's case, stepmother came into the marriage with not very much and when Dad died she inherited all. When she died much later, none of my Dad's children received anything. Consequently her children received it all.
I would assume in your case both parties could survive financially without the other....my Dad's 2nd wife not so much.
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That's what we expected would happen with my father. He left her a few years before he died. I suspect one reason he did that was because he was thinking of us. The main reason was she was treating him horribly. He filed for separation and the marital assets were to be divided in half. She fought it and found a lawyer in London who would agree that he was not entitled to his half, even though marital assets are divided in half in Ontario. He left her in December 2018 and the division of assets case has become an estate since both initial parties have died. It goes to trial in the spring or early summer. It's nuts.
 
Northwind said:
That's what we expected would happen with my father. He left her a few years before he died. I suspect one reason he did that was because he was thinking of us. The main reason was she was treating him horribly. He filed for separation and the marital assets were to be divided in half. She fought it and found a lawyer in London who would agree that he was not entitled to his half, even though marital assets are divided in half in Ontario. He left her in December 2018 and the division of assets case has become an estate since both initial parties have died. It goes to trial in the spring or early summer. It's nuts.
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So the estates of two dead people are fighting over a separation that happened while they were still alive? Zombie family court.

New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULU
 
I have a non-immediate family situation similar to Northwinds. It was a sad situation on many many levels, as the woman appeared to have targeted my relative. He went to an event, and was introduced to her. Looking back, we see that she had changed her hair colour, cut, and her appearance to be an image of his much loved recently deceased wife. Her personality was quite different but that didn't come out until later. she expressed interest in him, fawned on him. He fully embraced her. His family had concerns. My mother was shocked when she met her for the first time. He had $$, not $$$ but was well-set.

Over time, it became clear to all. It was very sad. His children despised her for what she did to make herself be like their mother. Their mother had had a long hard death, but always was real.

I am not sure how it ended up with his estate. She was from the States. They sold up in Canada. They bought a house in Arizona, and she stayed there but he came home to live in a Condo in Canada. He explained the challenge he was in to my parents. Based on what I was told by them, I am fairly sure he transferred assets and/or put accounts in his and his daughters' name(s) to save some of their inheritance.
 
My father and his ex were married for over 40 years. A friend of my sister and I met her. He felt she liked the status of being married to a cop. He had a good job. He wasn't rich. In fact, they both divorced their first partners shortly after they met. That would have been a financial hit for him. In this current separation, she claimed her savings were from a small inheritance she got from her father when she was in her 20's...... back in the 1960's. The homes they lived in through their marriage were always in her name. She used that to say he was not entitled to anything. She spent most of their married life volunteering or working in low paying jobs. She benefited from his salary. He continued to work after he retired from the police force. She, then he son have never provided the proof of their argument. It is now finally going to trial. We'll see what happens next.

The ex was a narcissist extraordinaire as it turns out. Her son is much the same.

Of course, this is the short version.
 
JayneWonders said:
It's not uncommon to split equally among children. The aunt may choose to leave her share to her niece or charities. The mom may choose to leave her share to her daughter or others. So granddaughter would buy. Then mother might choose to gift her money to help pay down mortgage, or not. It's a fair way to do it
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Oh, that part doesn't seem unreasonable or anything. It was just everyone involved didn't want it to take years for that sale to actually be allowed to happen.
 
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There was no conflict about inheritances for us. Hubby was names as sole Executor and Beneficiary of his mum's small estate (only child).
I refused to fight for a share of my mum's estate. She chose to leave her very substantial inheritance to my sister alone.
Fair? No.
Worth an international legal fight? No
A surprise? No.
 
KayTheCurler said:
There was no conflict about inheritances for us. Hubby was names as sole Executor and Beneficiary of his mum's small estate (only child).
I refused to fight for a share of my mum's estate. She chose to leave her very substantial inheritance to my sister alone.
Fair? No.
Worth an international legal fight? No
A surprise? No.
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I guess your sister didn't share?
 
looking at it from afar it sometimes gets ridiculous what people expect from fortunes that were not theirs to begin with.

I've seen a lot of alien realationships going on in families and those not part of the relationship. An old uncle claimed we were in his significant will ... then an outsider messed with the widow once she was no longer fully sentient ... even beat on her we hear from the trustees. What happened with the millions?

There are things in this world we will never know even through there are personalities that declare they know everything to the ultimate end ... I say BS to what they believe they know ... yet the declarions float ... like carcasses, or caskets ... in a great white sea of ... you know!

Ahab hunted for the trouble ...

Did you know that one meaning of Ahab in Hebrew is Zion Passion ... its up there ... some say Zoros ... as a rendering! Abyssally MS Understood in the fuzz of life ...
 
She paid for me to return to the UK for the funeral and house clearing. Also gave me a small monetary gift. The money really wasn't what mattered at that time - it was the firm knowledge that I still wasn't a treasured part of my mum's life.
 
KayTheCurler said:
She paid for me to return to the UK for the funeral and house clearing. Also gave me a small monetary gift. The money really wasn't what mattered at that time - it was the firm knowledge that I still wasn't a treasured part of my mum's life.
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My Dad was the only one left out of his Dad's will....he was very hurt and left without an explanation to know why.
 
Waterfall said:
My Dad was the only one left out of his Dad's will....he was very hurt and left without an explanation to know why.
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This happens more often than ought ... and no one knows ... thus the greater unknown as it sums up ...

We first generation children still haven't made sense of our parents insanity and imbalance in many layers ... thus we ramble ... wandering thoughts ... and many do not hold a BS to a thought ... all is theory ... like Theo in a Ray ... a dark death ray? Finesse ... and few see it coming ...
 
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