When my siblings where at the age to start families, my parents made the decision to give out their inheritance before they die. We had many meetings about that. My oldest sister already owned the property next to my parents house and I was too young to have any permanent life plans. So , the plan was that my parents property was divided in half, the rear property went to my brother to allow him to built a house on it. My parents were getting the right to live in the upstairs of that house. My parent’s house went to my other sister and her husband, who in turn had to take a mortgage and pay me and my oldest sister out.
My oldest sister, who had a rather complicated relationship with my mother, made some nasty scenes in those meetings, out of the feeling of not getting enough. In Germany, there was a law, that, if you give away your property and then end up in long term care within the two years after, the government can take the money you gave the kids to pay for your care. Of course, government could not take houses, so only my and my sisters money had a certain risk to it. However, my parents weren’t frail at all at that time. But, that scene, my sister saying that into my parent’s face, put a rip through the family. Didn’t make it easier, that now all the siblings were living next door to each other.
Then, years later, my dad had a stroke. Taking turns to visit him at the hospital, advocating for him with doctors and nurses glued the family back together, because everybody did their part.
