Whats The Best Advice Someone Ever Gave You?

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Waterfall

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What's the best advice you ever got? Did it stand the test of time? Did you pass it on?
 
Well, here's two from the same person who was a bit jaded and about to retire (I was in my mid-twenties).
Everyone makes mistakes...the skill lies in concealing them.
Everything I once considered assets, I now view as liabilities.
 
The thing that impacts me most now is related to some training I did and discussions with the coworker who was helping me learn this modality.

I learned some "DBT" stuff. That is Dialectical Behavior Therapy which is a step up (sort of) from Cognitive Behaviour Therapy in that it has skills building. Two concepts that have helped me the most in the past 3+ years is "generous assumptions" and "radical acceptance". When you make a generous assumption you recognize there may be many reasons for someone's behaviour. So someone who cut you off in traffic may just be busy and not a jerk. Radical acceptance means accepting what you're facing rather than resisting. You don't have to like it. When you have acceptance you have more energy to respond and even find solutions. Both of these concepts have Buddhist roots I believe.

I was able to use generous assumptions this week when my doctor did not call with my CT results. She's usually really good at that. Turns out she is away this week so she either did not get the results before she left or it slipped her mind when she was busy. I did entertain some less than generous assumptions such as thinking she didn't want to give me bad news. I reined those thoughts in and called the clinic. Another doctor will call today. I could have made myself crazy imagining the worst.
 
The thing that impacts me most now is related to some training I did and discussions with the coworker who was helping me learn this modality.

I learned some "DBT" stuff. That is Dialectical Behavior Therapy which is a step up (sort of) from Cognitive Behaviour Therapy in that it has skills building. Two concepts that have helped me the most in the past 3+ years is "generous assumptions" and "radical acceptance". When you make a generous assumption you recognize there may be many reasons for someone's behaviour. So someone who cut you off in traffic may just be busy and not a jerk. Radical acceptance means accepting what you're facing rather than resisting. You don't have to like it. When you have acceptance you have more energy to respond and even find solutions. Both of these concepts have Buddhist roots I believe.

I was able to use generous assumptions this week when my doctor did not call with my CT results. She's usually really good at that. Turns out she is away this week so she either did not get the results before she left or it slipped her mind when she was busy. I did entertain some less than generous assumptions such as thinking she didn't want to give me bad news. I reined those thoughts in and called the clinic. Another doctor will call today. I could have made myself crazy imagining the worst.
Very cool....I needed to hear that. Thanks.
 
Well, here's two from the same person who was a bit jaded and about to retire (I was in my mid-twenties).
Everyone makes mistakes...the skill lies in concealing them.
Everything I once considered assets, I now view as liabilities.
Wow...hope you didnt take that advice to heart?
 
Well, here's two from the same person who was a bit jaded and about to retire (I was in my mid-twenties).
Everyone makes mistakes...the skill lies in concealing them.
Everything I once considered assets, I now view as liabilities.

Thus sleeping demons .... they faded out, went against the remembering mode ... and it spread exponentially so as to get rid of anything memorable ... Yah Sues ... and the lights went out in Georgia!

Makes no sense???? Of course not, that is the directive that we've followed ... not knowing is imperative! ... especially with a 5th ... quintessence!

For folks not believing in essence and vapours it becomes nebulous ...
 
Wow...hope you didnt take that advice to heart?
He wasn't serious, he was just being sarcastic from his years as a businessman. And no, I always "fessed up" if I made a mistake.
I did heed the second statement though, and found it lately to be very true.
Actually, I've been the lucky recipient of lots of advice. I have one of those introverted personalities that make people want to advise and instruct me continually.
 
Best advice: Sometimes you have to decide if this is the hill you are going to die on.

The situation was a team that I could see was not following any protocol. There were 3 people: admin, lead and manager/director that I had cited a few times, and due to all the individuals having the same approach, I was seen as the problem.
My manager basically said, you can keep driving to name it, and she would support, but ultimately, you may be better to apologize for delays and proceed with their request. I did.
They then continued down their path, and within 18 months, all 3 had been fired. Reason: they were way outside of governance, and finance caught up to them.

From that, I have taken away that when I find that a culture is such that I am out of step, or cannot make a difference, that it is time to focus elsewhere or move on. I can document, cover my ass, ensure appropriate people are aware, but, it is up to the org to do the right thing.

This has played out a few times. Once, I chose to not extend a contract with an org. Another one, I chose to drop the skirmish, and moved up a level to inform with appropriate documentation, and received a lengthy contract to resolve issues. Ultimately the person in the skirmish was released.
 
Best advice: Sometimes you have to decide if this is the hill you are going to die on.

The situation was a team that I could see was not following any protocol. There were 3 people: admin, lead and manager/director that I had cited a few times, and due to all the individuals having the same approach, I was seen as the problem.
My manager basically said, you can keep driving to name it, and she would support, but ultimately, you may be better to apologize for delays and proceed with their request. I did.
They then continued down their path, and within 18 months, all 3 had been fired. Reason: they were way outside of governance, and finance caught up to them.

From that, I have taken away that when I find that a culture is such that I am out of step, or cannot make a difference, that it is time to focus elsewhere or move on. I can document, cover my ass, ensure appropriate people are aware, but, it is up to the org to do the right thing.

This has played out a few times. Once, I chose to not extend a contract with an org. Another one, I chose to drop the skirmish, and moved up a level to inform with appropriate documentation, and received a lengthy contract to resolve issues. Ultimately the person in the skirmish was released.

What do you do under this approach when the corruption of logical protocol reaches from the bottom to the top?

In the bible it says this body of Mann must die. When the ultimate projection arrives no one can understand why ... naivete as in "act stupid" may be the observed command but ...

Does ignorance catch up like a witch hunt in the end? I recall the hidden lesson of the Dead Poets Society ... rather dark ... but it follows!
 
Best advice: Sometimes you have to decide if this is the hill you are going to die on.

The situation was a team that I could see was not following any protocol. There were 3 people: admin, lead and manager/director that I had cited a few times, and due to all the individuals having the same approach, I was seen as the problem.
My manager basically said, you can keep driving to name it, and she would support, but ultimately, you may be better to apologize for delays and proceed with their request. I did.
They then continued down their path, and within 18 months, all 3 had been fired. Reason: they were way outside of governance, and finance caught up to them.

From that, I have taken away that when I find that a culture is such that I am out of step, or cannot make a difference, that it is time to focus elsewhere or move on. I can document, cover my ass, ensure appropriate people are aware, but, it is up to the org to do the right thing.

This has played out a few times. Once, I chose to not extend a contract with an org. Another one, I chose to drop the skirmish, and moved up a level to inform with appropriate documentation, and received a lengthy contract to resolve issues. Ultimately the person in the skirmish was released.
That's really good advice!
 
These all demonstrate the latency in thoughts for those putting will forward ... even if the will was best demonstrated in an old Coyote that may be a metaphor thingy that is draped all over you ...

This goes on in fabrication following the spinning ...
 
I can't remember where or when I saw this, but it stuck with me. 'Ye have heard it said that if ye take care of the pennies, the pounds will take care of themselves; but I say unto thee, Bologna! Nothing EVER takes care of itself automatically!
 
Honesty is the best policy.
With some provisos for situation where it isn't. There are parts of the States where there is no way I would answer "Yes" to the question "Are you gay?" even if I was. Similarly, "Have you had an abortion?" is likely one where a lie may be needed nowadays. IOW, honesty is the best policy until it can put you in danger.
 
Totalism in honesty may be the only way out of a turbulent life ... where we are paranoid of the consequences of virtue ...

In short a vast imposed fear of unknowns ... so denial is the solution ... in depth one may read into it or not allowing free choice over fatal things ...
 
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