Update from Seeler

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Hello friends,

it's a beautiful morning here in New Brunswick, but predicted to cloud over, and a bit of rain later in the day. There's been a hint of fall in the air. Summer is drawing to a close. A week or so ago, but hummingbirds were draining my birdfeeder. I mixed up more nectar and refill the feeder. We saw one hummingbird the next day, and none since then. Time to bring the feeder and clean it and put it away. On the other hand, a blue Jay has been visiting our backyard this week. Perhaps he is looking for a place to spend the winter.

I've been neglectful of checking into wonder Café recently. And when I do check. I often find several pages behind on the threads that I am really interested in. So I tend to jump ahead – and therefore missed your posts asking about me until ninja-faery gave me a heads up.

I find it difficult to sum up just how I am. Some days I feel good and think that there is no reason I cannot lead an active life, with only modest alterations due to my Parkinson's. For instance, in August we took a staycation and visited the Acadian area of northeastern New Brunswick. Although a few years ago we visited the area and only stayed over one night, this time we planned on two nights. We drove up to Caraquet (3 or 4 hours), settled into our B&B, did some sightseeing, dinner, and then an unexpected surprise. We happened to be there during an Acadian Festival and we watched fireworks from the front lawn of our dwelling.

The next day we spent four hours at a historic village, walking the trails from one building to another, chatting with the costumed characters, and looking in the windows (no entering most buildings because of Covid restrictions) . The humble dwellings. And other buildings. Watching the blacksmith, and a carpenter, and others going about their work. We walk the trail from the 17th century to the mid-20th, spending about four hours, stopping here and there, and perhaps visiting longest at the house that bore the name of Seelerman's ancestors. Unfortunately, there was no place to sit down except for an occasional rustic log bench. And no oxcart, or horse and wagon, to pick up stragglers. I was proud to have been able to see it all, but very tired towards the end. It was good to get back to the B&B for a rest before we went out for dinner. The following day we drove home, taking a longer route to enjoy countryside I had never seen before. A really great trip. But it took me several days to rest up. That was probably when I started getting behind on wonder Café and other computer work that I previously checked every day.

A week or so after that I was able to accept Ninjifaery’s long-standing invitation for lunch and a game of cards. Ninjifaery and I do not live far apart – except for a great big River that separates the city and to the north side (ninjifaery) and the south side (me). And on my side, there is a long steep hill up from the river. Without an automobile. It is time-consuming to get from the northeast to the southeast areas of the city. Bus lines are planned to get people between the downtown and the outlying areas but are notso convenient between areas. Perhaps when our downtown church opens for worship and midweek groups, we will see each other more often.

I've had a few medical things looked after recently. I went in for almost a year for an appointment. I was fitted with two hearing aids. What a difference it makes! I have watched TV without turning it up to a blast. And when we are able to meet again in groups. I should be able to hear what is going on without missing half of it. I have also had minor surgery on an eyelid that is causing me pain and problems for over a year.

Next I need to see my dentist about a broken tooth.

Oops! I started this thread last week but was interrupted. I’ve been trying to find a block of time to get back to it since then. I don’t know what has happened to time in the last six months – hours drag by; days and weeks fly by.

On bad days, time creeks along. I slowly go through the motions: have breakfast, brush my teeth, read the paper (often writing articles I have little interest in), passing the time doing Sudoka puzzles, or playing solitaire on the computer. Seelerman reminds me when it is lunch time. I’m not dressed yet – sometimes I don’t get dressed all day; I’m not going anywhere and no one is expected to drop in. There’s no need to tidy up the house, either. It’s time for my afternoon nap. Let’s see; I have a tremor in my left arm and leg -and often by late afternoon. I developed restless leg syndrome that gets worse through the evening and into the by. I am losing my sense of smell and taste so food is no longer as enjoyable as I remember it being. Without Seelerman, on these bad days I might forget to eat. I don’t have the energy to make a phone call, let alone try to write anything more than a few words - although I see some threads on wonder Café that I would love to get involved in. If I do force myself to get dressed and go for a walk. I am absolutely played out within a block or two. By suppertime, I am too tired to do much preparation so, while Seelerman prepares the potatoes and meat, instead of snapping the green beans that are planned for - I opened a can of vegetables. Salads? Forget it, too much work. Let the lettuce will in the fridge. Too tired to follow the programs on TV, trying to find comfort from my restless leg, I wait for bedtime, but often cannot get to sleep for an hour or two. I feel sorry for Seelerman and wonder how much longer he can keep up. Is this all there is for the rest of my life? No structure to distinguish one day from the next. Bowling league discontinued. Square dancing, on hold. Weekly gathering for playing cards, on hold. Writer’s group, book club- will try meeting on zoom in anticipation of sometime getting back to meeting in person. For young people Covid restrictions may last a few years more; for older people and those in poor health. It will be a lifetime.

On the other hand, many days are good days. I get a good nights sleep, the sun shines in the air is clear. I get to go grocery shopping, or to the market. Occasionally someone telephones, we have a nice chat and/or arrange for her to drop in for a game of Scrabble. Most Sundays we go for a drive out into the countryside. Yesterday I attended a real-life service at the little church I used to call home. Very nice to see people in the flesh (even at 6 foot distancing). And they arranged for me to have a chair with arms , and a foot rest for my tremoring leg. In the afternoon, a friend from a church joined us for a drive: down river on the back roads to a country market, across the river by ferry, and back to town driving past woodlots, farmland and small villages. Then our friend stayed for supper -nothing elaborate (a couple of cans of soup, and homemade bread and fresh vegetables from the market). A good day.

Later this morning. Another friend that I talked to at church will drop in after doing her chores. I hope that she will agree to say for a late lunch.

These are the days I look forward to. These, and the days that Seelergirl and/or the grandchildren call or drop in – or Saturday morning we visit them.

Please, keep me in your minds as you continue with the Café. I am here in the corner.listening.in on your conversations, nodding in agreement or shaking my head in dismay, enjoying the warmth and hospitality of the coffee cart, and someone tending the fire as these days get chilly in the mornings.

It is so good to hear from you Seeler and tough to read about your hard days

i Am glad that you have Seelerman to care for you and keep you going. Sunday drives sound lovely, when I was a child we used to do that after lunch too. Just out driving for an hour or so. I wonder why actually.

i Hope as we are getting more and more fall leaves you can perhaps take two drives a week to enjoy the reds and golds in the trees

so nice you got new hearing aids. I hope that makes it easier to speak on the phone to friends

prayers for you and your restless legs that you get calm legs and more good days than bad ones
Ah Seeler - so good to hear from you. These are indeed challenging times, and I appreciate the effort it must have taken you to write to us, to share your life and feelings so eloquently. The tough days do sound really difficult. I'm glad you got away for a little reprieve - and fireworks! What lovely serendipity that was.

Some of your statements really resonated for me - the bit about hours seeming endless then realizing a week had passed. I often find myself shaking my head saying, 'what? Friday again so soon?' Your comment about these changes to life 'lasting a lifetime' for those who are older was very poignant. I too am missing the structure and social contacts of external activities and volunteer commitments to keep me organized and add meaning to my days. As I write, it's after 10AM and yes, I'm still in my robe & slippers - finishing my second coffee and making my way eventually to the shower. Facebook has been popping up 'memory photos' of our trip to the East just last year at this time - so you and Seelerman and ninjafaery are certainly in my thoughts even more often these days.

I read a quote in the paper this morning that summed these COVID times up for me - "Life is sometimes sad and often dull, but there are currants in the cake and here is one of them" reportedly penned by novelist Nancy Mitford. You, dear Seeler, are a currant. Sending hugs.
I have been thinking of you both lately, too. The cat sometimes asked how you are doing. She hated the cat hotel last February ( I had to convince her when I packed her in the carrier last week that we are only going to the vet, not back to the hotel).
I read in a patient’s room today the quote
” Age is only important if you are a cheese”.
well, I feel for those tired and squeaky joints, we all get them- “ you are not alone”.
Glad you are still hanging out here. It’s not a zoom meeting, never mind the housecoat and the slippers.
Virtual hugs to you and yours. Yes all these covid precautions are isolating. The decline in your ability to do things is not surprising but I bet it is annoying.
Saw a quote the other day "I wish I had the body I had at 20, or 30 or 40 but 10 years from now I will wish I had the body I have today.

Glad you can enjoy seelergirl and grandkids.
I miss visiting my parents and sisters.
Have a great Thanksgiving and count your many blessings.
@Seeler just found this thread. Hard to read of the low days, but thankful that you trust us enough to hold and honour that truth in your life too.
You always have such a good way of describing events and emotions. I appreciate that.

I do hope that you have a visit, and I hope that you pop in. I am not here every day, but, i do try to pop in. please know that your story is an important part of who we are.
@Seeler just found this thread. Hard to read of the low days, but thankful that you trust us enough to hold and honour that truth in your life too.
You always have such a good way of describing events and emotions. I appreciate that.

I do hope that you have a visit, and I hope that you pop in. I am not here every day, but, i do try to pop in. please know that your story is an important part of who we are.
She was posting this week, so she's definitely popping in! *waves to Seeler*
Seeler noted my Facebook post about my dog. It was good to know that she was online.