The New Normal

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JayneWonders

JayneWonders

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Sometimes the new normal gets really frustrating, especially when it isn't clear what the next phase will be.
That is the way it is for my sister.
Her new normal sucks, and limits her. There is no clear path forward.

I know for my friend who had pancreatic cancer, though the new normal was bad, there was no expectation of return, and the normal to follow was likely death. That is horrendous. I have no idea how i would respond.

As I age, my new normal is a part of my own lack of attention to health. I have an option of turning it around, but my normal right now is for an obese person.

I took this out of room for all, as I recognize for some, the new normal is shitty.

You watch people in your circles die.
You maybe are caring for folks who requite significant support.

For some, the new normal might be good, new loves, new relationship, repaired vision, etc.

What is new in your life?
How do we cope with "new normals"
 
One of my new normals is not exactly new. Still. I am a type 2 diabetic and an insulin user

I cope mostly. But eating meals away from home is a challenge and I have no interest in travel for this reason. It is not impossible, of course, but it is challenging.

I also struggle with aspects of church life because it is so food-centric. Treats at coffee hour. Cakes to celebrate everything. Sharing goodies as part of knitting circle. Don't get me started on potlucks.

Tell me I need to be a big girl and just say No. :rolleyes:

I can say No of course. And I do. Still.
 
It hit me a while ago that I will always be dealing with drug side effects that have a fairly big impact on me. I've mostly learned to adjust accordingly. I will also be tied to the health system. My leash gets lengthened somewhat. I get scans every three or four months. I get my meds delivered to me monthly. I get shots monthly and bloodwork monthly. Thankfully the people sticking me with sharp objects have been good at what they do. So far.
 
These are pretty powerful drugs. They need to be. Sometimes it's hard to decide whether the disease or the treatment is worse. Of course the disease is more likely to be fatal so that makes it worse.
 
Oh boy, what a thread! Yeah, lots of folks get to handle their new normal. Some do it easily, some struggle valiantly, some whinge endlessly.

My new normal challenges me on several fronts as one disease impacts another. Doc #1 says exercise is vital to handling a disease, but a different disease makes that impossible. I don't recommend COPD, peripheral neuropathy, arthritis, osteoporosis and disappearing vision at the same time.
At one of my appointments I said "I don't know whether I am depressed or I just have a depressing life". That got me an appointment with a counsellor to try to figure it out. A few chats and I get told that I seem to have a really good handle on a complex situation. Nothing needs fixing. Keep Calm and Carry On as they say.

Paradox3 there is no way I'd tell you to Just Say No.
JaybeWonders I relate to life with too much weight. Those body mass numbers tell me I need to grow several more inches.
Northwind demonstrates the value of a strong backbone while dealing with cancer and side issues.

Tomorrow I get to visit the CNIB to find some vision aids. Yay!
 
So much wisdom in this thread. There is wisdom in acceptance, and doing what we can when the health circumstances of our lives dictate it. My gallbladder surgery is postponed to December 3. My new normal is a low fat diet...which, I guess, I should have been eating all along. It doesn't sound like much of a chore, but today, my husband and I were in a place that smelled of so much delicious food that I knew I couldn't eat....And I went to our Book Club where my favourite high fat squares were being served. And at a card game later this week, I will say 'no thank you' to my favourite wine. But this new normal is better for my weight, and my arthritis, and my hiatus hernia. So, in my case, the new normal is a good thing.
 
My only 'new normal' is coping without cow's milk dairy. It's a mixed blessing. I hate living without (most) cheese - I have goat and sheep milk cheeses, but beyond feta and chevre, they are hard to find and very expensive. I love ice cream and consider yogurt a food group. Butter was my go-to fat (and its best substitute, avocado oil, is very pricy). The good thing is that it's been very helpful for the big guys' weight loss goals, because we no longer put cheese butter and cream into almost everything. He still uses some cow's milk cheese, but it can't be a necessary component of a meal, so a lot of prepared frozen meals are out, as is lasagne, many pasta dishes, so his diet has naturally been reduced in fat and calories. The other bad thing is that so has mine, and I needed those calories, so my weight keeps slipping and my jeans are falling down.
 
KayTheCurler said:
Northwind demonstrates the value of a strong backbone while dealing with cancer and side issues.
Click to expand...

This comes under the category of takes one to know one I'd say. I'm glad we got to have a few visits. You show a strength and humour as you live with some pretty tough stuff too.
 
Nancy said:
So much wisdom in this thread. There is wisdom in acceptance, and doing what we can when the health circumstances of our lives dictate it. My gallbladder surgery is postponed to December 3. My new normal is a low fat diet...which, I guess, I should have been eating all along. It doesn't sound like much of a chore, but today, my husband and I were in a place that smelled of so much delicious food that I knew I couldn't eat....And I went to our Book Club where my favourite high fat squares were being served. And at a card game later this week, I will say 'no thank you' to my favourite wine. But this new normal is better for my weight, and my arthritis, and my hiatus hernia. So, in my case, the new normal is a good thing.
Click to expand...
Have you talked to a dietitian, Nancy? Low fat products often substitute with more sugar.
 
Mrs.Anteater said:
Have you talked to a dietitian, Nancy? Low fat products often substitute with more sugar.
Click to expand...

That is one of my pet peeves, if you want something that is low fat you have to take high sugar. If I want low fat I don't want tons of sugar. And I'm not diabetic.
 
In my life, it seems 'normal' is most often in some sort of flux or evolution. Some changes imposed suddenly, some creeping in slowly over time, some I can influence, others not. I'm finding it helpful to take a shorter view of the horizon.
 
I am reminded of the saying that "normal" is a setting on the dryer. What is normal anyway? Functional is more useful most days. Yeah, we all need to function differently. That can be a challenge some days can't it.
 
Sometimes the new normal is more evolutionary or incremental than revolutionary, I think.

I mean. over the past decade (i.e. the time that WC2 has been around) I have had diabetes and arthritis impact my day-to-day life longterm and a raft of lesser conditions exacerbate those impacts. No one of them alone really created a "new normal" but each had its impacts that add up to a different life than existed a decade ago. And new stuff keeps popping up.

Socially, too. Losing Dad a decade ago (the anniversary is next week), parenthood and the various changes in my relationships to family, and so on.

Even work, moving from a one-man show managing resources to a "people leader" definitely changed my normal.

But all kind of incremental so far. That could change. I mean, a stroke or serious injury or losing my wife or some other such dramatic event would obviously create a more revolutionary "new normal". But so far that has not happened to my reality in a long time.

I think the last revolutionary "new normal" was probably Little M's birth. Becoming a parent was probably the single biggest change of my life since leaving my parents' home and it also triggered a career change (from a librarian in the public sector to a middle manager in the private).
 
Mendalla said:
Sometimes the new normal is more evolutionary or incremental than revolutionary, I think.

I mean. over the past decade (i.e. the time that WC2 has been around) I have had diabetes and arthritis impact my day-to-day life longterm and a raft of lesser conditions exacerbate those impacts. No one of them alone really created a "new normal" but each had its impacts that add up to a different life than existed a decade ago. And new stuff keeps popping up.

Socially, too. Losing Dad a decade ago (the anniversary is next week), parenthood and the various changes in my relationships to family, and so on.

Even work, moving from a one-man show managing resources to a "people leader" definitely changed my normal.

But all kind of incremental so far. That could change. I mean, a stroke or serious injury or losing my wife or some other such dramatic event would obviously create a more revolutionary "new normal". But so far that has not happened to my reality in a long time.

I think the last revolutionary "new normal" was probably Little M's birth. Becoming a parent was probably the single biggest change of my life since leaving my parents' home and it also triggered a career change (from a librarian in the public sector to a middle manager in the private).
Click to expand...

Some just say let it go ... deny it ... as if then it wasn't! Does it return from a place of mystery? Dark mirror syndrome ...
 
Re high sugar and low fat…I make my own pumpkin muffins using unsweetened apple sauce instead of butter and stevia instead of regular sugar. And I use whole-wheat flour. And I eat a lot of chicken breast, fruit and vegetables. I lost 12 pounds right away but I’ve plateaued. Today I go for lunch with a friend… Hope I find something on the menu. My new normal has been never going out to eat.
 
Part of the New Normal at our house is needing at least a whole day to recover from a trip to the city.

Went to the long awaited appointment with CNIB. Discovered that it was actually with Vision Loss Rehab, which 'partners' with them. The lady claimed that CNIB do all the 'social' things and they do the accessibility things. I pointed out that CNIB hadn't let people know about the event in Prince Albert and that they have a website and FB page that are almost useless and incredibly frustrating to use. I suggested advertising for a volunteer to redo those things if their budget can't stretch to that !

I came home with a couple of basic magnifiers, a talking clock and a free gift of a reflective cane for night use.

At the moment it feels like it wasn't worth the exhaustion we are feeling today.

Yeah - tired old f**ts got snippy and out of sorts sometimes! They even whinge. Amazing.
 
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