Stress on WC2

[paradox3]

This site has become highly stressful for me. Anyone else feeling the same way?

Recent events are just sad, sad, sad. I have been on WC/WC 2 since 2007 and have never felt this way before

Not sure what the future holds.

I think the discussion of Community Values has been positive. I will decline to get involved in the discussion of the role descriptions. Will leave it to those who perform these roles or have performed them on the past.

It's no secret that I have been involved in a couple of conflicts recently. I am well aware that it takes two to fight. No one needs to remind me.

Stressful times. I don't think it's just me.

 

[Northwind]

It has been a stressful place for me too. Things have settled down for me and I feel less stressed. Still, the fact that part of me worries when or if it might bubble up again is a concern.

 

[paradox3]

It has been a stressful place for me too. Things have settled down for me and I feel less stressed. Still, the fact that part of me worries when or if it might bubble up again is a concern.

Your wariness is understandable. A few different things have flared up around here recently and burnt themselves out. Sometimes the ashes of old conflicts can get ignited again all too easily.

Overall we seem to be in a calmer place now and some positive discussion has been taking place. This is hopeful for our future here.

It is not any one thing that has left me feeling so stressed. It has been more of a cumulative effect. I can't pinpoint when it all started and I don't even want to try.

 

[Northwind]

I do feel more hopeful for the record and less concerned about ashes.

 

[Mendalla]

I think my biggest stressor on WC2 over the years has been my sense that I can't just walk away for a while when things get stressful like I tend to do on other sites where I am just another member. As a member of Council and the site's main admin, I felt obligated to be present even when I would rather not be. Hopefully, the move to just being a technical resource and getting clear of governance will help right that.

 

[KayTheCurler]

I have way too much going on in my real life to deal with online crap! I loathe bickering that goes on and on. Maybe winter was too long and many people got 'testy'? Actually I just stopped clicking on the threads that were argumentative as I had nothing to offer that was likely to solve the problem.
I ,obviously, returned this morning and will try hard to not fan any possible flame!

 

[JayneWonders]

I have shared that I felt dread, like i knew there was something coming, and there was very little that I could do to stop it.

For now, it is the calm after the storm. I enter some conversations slowly. I am aware that there are sensitivities and things that likely will never be resolved, or understood, unless we could get together over a beer or a coffee or a meal. (In fact, was discussing that with someone in Calgary tonight that I have worked with on/off for a few years. Some day, we need to have a beer together).

My life is crazy at work. What should be fun/busy, is not. I am aware that because of that, I have had less time to be present here. That may be a good thing.

I also echo a bit of what @Mendalla shared and that I was part of his stress. I gladly let him handle the patches, and so on, as he seemed to enjoy it. My bad for not checking or saying, hey, do you want me to do this one?

I am also aware that i wear 4 hats:
1 is a long-time member, someone who like many here, carries history from back in the day, as well as the standing up of this site.
1 is an admin, who has been lazy as of late, or shall I say, not as engaged.
1 is a council member who gets pulled into items
1 is a "I'm not a moderator" hat. That hat I often have to remind folks. I cannot & do not wish to be a moderator.

 

[paradox3]

I do feel more hopeful for the record and less concerned about ashes.

Same for me after enjoying a few days of peace here. I am keen to see the revised Values Statement when @Mendalla gets it up for our review.

He has some good ideas about how to proceed from there.

 

[paradox3]

My life has also been a bit crazy @JayneWonders

A health issue and a decision about real life church. All is well now.

 

[Mendalla]

I actually mostly enjoyed the actual admin work. It was being backstage through rather torturous discussions that I know would have been handled fairly quickly on other sites or being the "first responder" on a situation where I knew it was something a mod should handle but also knew there might not be one on the scene for a while.

 

[Northwind]

We do need to remember that we all have lives outside of here that impact our interactions or responses here. My longtime friend, who I met in Brownies, died of cancer on Halloween. That hit me harder than I expected. She was in New Brunswick and was my favourite Scrabble partner. I know that had an impact on how I handled conflict and stressors here. I had to take a break from here for my own health and sanity. It is sad that an online community that has been a source of comfort and fun becomes a major stressor.

I'm appreciating the current calm. I'm thankful hopeful about the discussions about how we proceed.

 

[paradox3]

I actually mostly enjoyed the actual admin work. It was being backstage through rather torturous discussions that I know would have been handled fairly quickly on other sites or being the "first responder" on a situation where I knew it was something a mod should handle but also knew there might not be one on the scene for a while.

Appreciating your frankness about your Admin experience here.

 

[JayneWonders]

I actually mostly enjoyed the actual admin work. It was being backstage through rather torturous discussions that I know would have been handled fairly quickly on other sites or being the "first responder" on a situation where I knew it was something a mod should handle but also knew there might not be one on the scene for a while.

Woot. I don't feel so bad then. and i agree re stress of the backstage stuff

 

[paradox3]

What will happen with all that backstage stuff is something I wonder about.

If I am hearing @JayneWonders and @Mendalla correctly, the Admin role here is evolving into something akin to an IT department.

In the past, Mendalla seemed to function as the ipso facto chair of Council. He may have assumed this role reluctantly and the stress he describes above is certainly understandable.

Will the mod team need to work a little differently in the future? We have talked on various threads about tweaking the role a little. I don't see wholesale change as necessary, myself.

Does the mod team need a designated team leader? Does Council need a designated chair?

Just a couple of things I am wondering about. I am not married to these ideas.

 

[JayneWonders]

The admin role always was the IT department, at least, that is how I saw it. Maybe @Mendalla would say differently.
Mendella happened to wear two hats: Admin, plus he assisted in helping mods with processes, training etc.
He could have helped even if he wasn't an Admin. For example, any moderator can reach out to a previous moderator or someone outside of the group for guidance. I am guessing they do. I know if I was a mod, i surely would
Just as any Admin can reach out to any other Admin or tech for guidance, including XenForo Community.

I would be surprised if he acted as chair of council. Maybe he would say he did? I'm thinking of others who were people who clearly owned the mod role in the early days.

Mods would have to answer for themselves as a designated leader. They seem to work fine as a small group. It's not like we have council meetings or council items a lot so can't imagine we need a chair.

 

[paradox3]

Ipso facto Chair of Council.might not be the correct terminology then. Mendalla has often spoken about getting drawn into matters not IT related. That's what I am getting at.

Didn't he even describe himself as a Super Mod at one point? Or is this just in my imagination?

I would think certain things might arise that would be items for the entire council (I e. Admin + mods). Maybe this is rare.

And you have also explained that certain items can have IT implications. Can't really think of an example off the top of my head.

 

[Mendalla]

I would be surprised if he acted as chair of council. Maybe he would say he did?

I am not sure that's the best way to put it, but I was often the one nudging on reports that were not getting handled and initiating discussion of various issues that seemed, to me, to be flying under the radar or not getting handled seriously enough. I would say it would not be inaccurate to say I played a part in Jae's ban, in fact. I already had a fair bit of history on forums by 2014 so was not shy about bringing that to bear backstage. Was I taking on more responsibility than I should have? Probably. But there were also cases where things would not have been dealt with without my prompting, or at least that's how it felt (reports that generated more discussion than action and that sort of thing)

Didn't he even describe himself as a Super Mod

That's actually a technical term in the Xenforo software. "Super Moderators" are the ones who can moderate anywhere on the site, as opposed to "Forum Moderators" who only operate in a specific forum, as I do now with BPoTW. The admins were also set up as Super Moderators since some admin tasks, or tasks that we saw as tasks admins should be able to do (moving a post or thread at user request), were set up as moderator tasks in Xenforo.

 

[jimkenney12]

While the hurtful conflicts were a bit stressful for me, mostly because i was wishing i could help resolve them (I have too much ego believing i have greater strengths than I do), they also made me more alert to how I interacted with others in my life. My life has been off the usual stress scales several times in my life so i tend to see stress the way i see pains from past physical traumas, as irritants to be managed.

 

[jimkenney12]

This community is a spring of living water, a community of people who care about others and the world. The occasional bit of debris that falls into the water should not make us forget about the water. While i still have to get a sim card for this old phone tomorrow so I can regain all my communications tools, the world is bursting with renewed life. Embrace the joy and hope being thrust into the world.