Journalling

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My late father-in-law kept journals, especially of his travels (with many notations about the weather). When he had to move out of his house he was quite disappointed no one in the family wanted them.
 
It's not really my thing. I have to do a log of medication which I find annoying. I've done some journaling connected to therapy and chronic illness workshops.
I've also done it more voluntarily with groups I signed up for that were less of a need and more of a want. The journaling was a chore connected to the beneficial things I got out of the groups.

Forums always feel different to me even when in a journaling type of format. I've considered starting a blog in the past.
 
I'm sure my journals will hit a dumpster on my demise. If I get time before that event though, I'd like to go through them and pull out memories about our three kids and compile them into some kind of booklet to gift to them.
 
Several times in my life I felt prompted to journal and always abandoned it after about a couple of weeks. When I revisit all those journals, I realize how differently I recall those periods of my life than the feelings expressed in my journals indicate.
 
To be honest, I have tried over the years to keep a journal but haven't developed a routine. Part of the problem is some issues around having no privacy from when I was growing up. I don't feel (irrationally) I can safely put down my thoughts without them surfacing inconveniently somehow.
Another reason is that I simply bore myself. Writing the same repetitive angst over the years is depressing rather than therapeutic. I don't dwell on things like I once did either.
The most interesting diaries (to me) are actually descriptions of daily mundane details. They are an interesting read years down the road.

Some believe this is how intellect is covered as some traditions initiate with the comment that a tree of learning is evil in their Logi! Might it be an extensive dark game played in the night of a sole ... when little folk are stepped upon ... and few grasp the divine bipolar concept! Imagine if the world was controlled with perfectly freed emotions without consequence ... the powers would screw the entire senate and their wives and children ...

Wait! didn't Caesar do that while believing he was everything? That saul 't ... an illusion of pearly ... when mixed ... brackish! thus broken ...
 
I was a bit traumatized by having a teenage journal which was found by my mother, who burned it, according to her. I was a bit of an adventurous teenager (sex and drugs; this was the early 70s), and had never wished to share that with my mother.

There's a lot of notebooks with a bit of me in them; some I started as some sort of journal, then it became a travelogue; they're mixed in with other stuff. Some of my writings were lost with the old guy.

I would love to have a daily journalling practice.

And redbaron, I feel for you. I've made a bit of a commitment to start unburying my house. Yesterday, I did a little bit. In a bid to find a few clothes (for a promised 3 bags for Value Village or our homeless outreach), I reached to the back of my closet, and found the suit jacket, still in a cleaning bag that the old guy was going to wear when he married me (which never happened in our 24.5 years together).
 
I have a little diary from my early teens, I think.
I didn't have the key. I pried it open once, but haven't read.
I may some day.

I think that facebook is the publicly facing journals....
Here is a bit less publicly facing
 
I have done specific journaling. I used one journal when I took multi day courses. I have a journal to record work related information. I used another journal for recording infotms6ion for baptisms, funerals, and weddings. I have a project journal.
 
I have a few journals from my teen years and twenties. I started to read them- oh, my, those emotional teen years. I was also very influenced by my older sister and my religious opinions were very strict at times. Nothing I could identify with today. Since I haven’t finished my clean up, I haven’t burned them yet. But a good thing is that my son doesn’t know German, so he will not read them, even if he finds them.

A sad story from my family- my mother, who got pregnant at the early age of 18 ( back them she had to be 21 in order to marry without permission), and had to marry my father - which turned out ok in the long run, but it wasn’t easy, he was 16 yrs older and her former teacher. She had trouble dealing with being a young mother, dealing with nasty catholic in-laws and another aunt she had to look after. My oldest sister , who always had a difficult relationship to my mother, once told me ( and that explained a lot about their relationship), that our mother had given her her diaries to read- in which her young self was writing about how hard it was as a young mother and that she had wished my sister was never born and how much of a burden she was.
I think, my mother had never the opportunity to grow up emotionally, because otherwise she would have known how wrong it was to give those diaries to the daughter she has trouble with.
She didn’t do that to any of us. I only knew that she had said all of us four were “ a failure of different contraceptions“ , which also doesn’t make you feel much wanted.
She rests in peace now, and thankfully, as siblings, we have had enough conversations to sort some of that dysfunctionality out.
 
Parents often seem to share painful realities with children who don't need the information. I grew up knowing that my parents wanted two children, a boy and a girl. They arrived in the wrong order and I was child three.
 
My mother never wanted children. The one planned child, the older of my two younger sisters, had the most messed up life. My mother had a tough childhood including being kicked out at age 14 because her father could not afford to support five daughters. She became a servant for a woman who apparently had a miserable life. Intergenerational trauma does not just apply to Indigenous people though their trauma is community wide and ours is mostly familial.
 
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