Gaslighting

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Luce NDs said:
Gaslighting is so variable. One of my grandfathers worked in a coal mine and sparks were dangerous. Now there is a spark that initiates the zoological process requiring phosphor compounds.

In my work with water we dealt with ATP/ADP and energy exchange as a mysterious darkness in the light of what we know of essences that led to phosphorescence on the deep waters. One faction of the work took this to a higher level of cognizance and turned the ATP system into a method for testing for life (especially bacterium). This eventually directed us to tests for COVID strains and other brain worms ... the company has bureaus in Fredericton ... a kind of edifice that creeps many because it deals with chemistry and alchemy of all types, forms and kinds ... and yet still limited because of moral conditions imposed on them!

One authority I deal with regularly states that we know everything about energy and light and I giggle about all that we don't know not what we believe sternly that we know when we ... don't? This does indicate that we are quite dangerous as we do not have appreciation for the sparking required for life that we screw around with; without appreciation or minimum of care, worry, concern, or attention of what freeing emotional rants can do to folk ... thus it should be writ before it rots your brain ...

One needs to stand down or back off to observe your own veritable sparks ... sometimes ferrite explosions appearing from irony ... a metal fire ... as we keep black's mything ... these are generally unconscious extractions as exorcised ...

But according to Lancet do we really understand the cutting out process? Thus the wrinkling ... in the dark and unknown! It is a vast domain ...
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Luce - I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you writing this post in a way that I can easily understand - thank you for that. You have a lot of experience, wisdom and perspective to offer.
 
ChemGal said:
The RECEPTIONIST should have been making an appointment so I could see my GP. That wasn't the fault of my GP.
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Still not gaslighting. It's a difficult receptionist. You need to let the doctor know next time you're in.

You changed your comment after I responded. It looked like you were trying to make an appointment with a different doctor.
 
Carolla said:
Luce - I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you writing this post in a way that I can easily understand - thank you for that. You have a lot of experience, wisdom and perspective to offer.
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Yet too many times I've been told to shut up and go away because of the authorities that wish to know as little as possible so their emotional perspective can flower!

Never be too clear about anything as the powers will clearly get you when they expand explosively in the get rich quick mode ... there are illusive examples that are generally unseen! Folk would rather not and thus degrade ... a person with sol cannot be singularly too cautious about the gems of wisdom ... the under powers will get you as suite ... we are doomed to not know for some reason of naivete in this dimension reserved for mindlessness ... thus I'm bad and alien ... due to counter process ... remember as memes go they may return! That's the come back item ...

In some domains an echo and others an Ego ... sometimes just ... reflection! There's a great deal behind that as a commentator said recently why are the false advertising laws avoided ... especially by powers that benefit from lies while accusing the alternates of lying ... I've been called a liar so often for my observations in dark places ... it is unspeakable what these folk will lie about ... like the understanding of ineffable and then they claim it is true ...

We are told not to take such words in vain ... words about things misunderstood ...
 
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I really dislike the ease with which some people throw around words about mental illness. "She is SO OCD", "I get gaslighted all the time", "He is bi polar" etc.. Often I don't know enough about the category mentioned, even less do I know whether the 'diagnosis' is correct.
It took me a long time to accept that I don't have to argue online - I can always roll my eyes and scroll by. In real life it can be more challenging.
 
KayTheCurler said:
I really dislike the ease with which some people throw around words about mental illness. "She is SO OCD", "I get gaslighted all the time", "He is bi polar" etc.. Often I don't know enough about the category mentioned, even less do I know whether the 'diagnosis' is correct.
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This. I wish the world would just leave mental health to the pros and patients as we do physical health. Using mental health terms as insults or casual descriptors just contributes to the stigmas around mental health.
 
Mental health is generally an intangible due to the discounting of the presence of mind.

I am told there is no such thing in an effort to displace folk from the process of thinking process and thus it goes ... except for the mental hard cases that are impenetrable because or rationale that is presently unknown given the extent of the complexity in a simple environment ... right? Volk do try and make it simple ... possibly a folk tale to hide Ide ...

It all started with the immature doing nothing ...
 
Mendalla said:
This. I wish the world would just leave mental health to the pros and patients as we do physical health. Using mental health terms as insults or casual descriptors just contributes to the stigmas around mental health.
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I am just imagining how it would be if physical health terms would be used in conversation as a judgement.
” He is so scoliotic “. “ I wish she wasn’t always broken ankle”. “ Her hip replacement really goes on my nerves”.
 
One, when waiting for a procedure I watched the waiting room slowly empty. I overheard one person ask another (both medical folk) "Are we done now?"
"There's just a colonoscopy waiting".

When called I mustered a wry grin and said my middle name wasn't Colonoscopy!
 
KayTheCurler said:
One, when waiting for a procedure I watched the waiting room slowly empty. I overheard one person ask another (both medical folk) "Are we done now?"
"There's just a colonoscopy waiting".

When called I mustered a wry grin and said my middle name wasn't Colonoscopy!
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That's the scoop ... and may pros pay no attention to the crap as an icon of illness! Such folk wish a clean, pure job that you don't have to learn the dirt on the process ... a mist ache ... thus pain of learning from fallacy ...not a topic well accepted by isolated infallible who reside across that thin line ... lion*St! St Ain't real grammar just folkie ... vernacular?
 
KayTheCurler said:
I really dislike the ease with which some people throw around words about mental illness
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Mendalla said:
Using mental health terms as insults or casual descriptors just contributes to the stigmas around mental health.
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Luce NDs said:
Mental health is generally an intangible due to the discounting of the presence of mind.
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Mrs.Anteater said:
I am just imagining how it would be if physical health terms would be used in conversation as a judgement.
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I love the theme that has emerged here. Mental health terms get tossed around as insults too freely. Conversely, I think there's a tendency to use mental health stuff to avoid. As an example, my nephew is almost 30. He like many in our family, including his father, is a highly sensitive, overthinking introvert. He's smart and kind. He has had some traumas in his past and struggles legitimately with anxiety and depression. At the same time, it is easier for him to avoid trying some things because he can claim anxiety. We all feel anxiety when embarking on new ventures. He has trouble seeing that and pushing through. It's understandable. I think he's starting to push through a bit more. I know he'll do fine in the long run. Still it's a concern and quite a common trait in his age group.

This is one reason I started this topic. The term gaslighting gets tossed out frivolously when it is a term that relates to an ongoing process over time. There must be a better term that can be used in those times where "gaslighting" is being thrown out.
 
Northwind said:
Ugh. Don't even get me going on that one. ;)
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Thanks for the reminder. I am often guilty as charged. I am presently working in the “Hip and Knee Clinic”, doing education for people getting hip or knee replacement. It is easy to fall into calling one group “ the hips” and the other “ the knees” without much thinking. ( “Hips” are having certain precautions after surgery which “knees” do not.) I will be more careful.
 
After my initial 'Say what?' I was quite capable of understanding how this bit of insensitivity happened. Also willing to point out that it is inappropriate. There's a very easy solution for Mrs A - just refer to hip patients and knee patients! Even so, your example didn't strike me as offensive as my one.
 
The comments about the misuse of mental health terms point to people wanting to simplify situations by using labels rather than identifying behaviours that are the issue.

Some difficult conversations above. I wish people did not feel the need to feel they won a debate in discussion groups like this. One discussion could have been limited to "I believe ... was gaslighting me when..." and "I believe that was just over the top gatekeeping, not gaslighting." I believe we all care about each other here. That is an important part of why we are here. If we care about each other, we will trust each other to have heard our point of view. Clarifying comments and requests are helpful, but persistent rejection of an other person's point of view rarely helps. We live in a time when anger, fatigue, fear are at a peak. I hope we can, most of the time, choose compassion over being right.
 
I'm not interested in winning an argument or scoring points even though may not look like it. The term gaslighting is one that gets watered down so it has no meaning. There are better ways to express a feeling that your position is being discounted or devalued. As soon as you accuse someone of certain behaviours you risk shutting down any meaningful discussion and resolution. When you say "you are ________", the other person will automatically become defensive. That is not helpful.

Variations of "when this happens I feel ______" is far more effective. I'm agreeing with what you're saying about being clearer in expressing our views @jimkenney12
 
I was thinking of the term being used in a third person way. It is almost never us full to use terms like this and many others in the second person. Far better to say something like. "When you ..., I feel .. ". Or. "It seems to me that you are..." with descriptions of the behaviour. For example, "When you lie to me about being in town, my respect for you goes down the tube. When you try to tell me I am wrong, I see you as acting like a jerk. If you actually believe what you are saying to me, I would worry about your mental wellness."
 
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