Gaslighting

[Northwind]

Recently I've noticed the term "gaslighting" being thrown around frivolously in some discussions. The term seems to be used when someone isn't getting their way, or when there is tension.

Gaslighting is most commonly found in abusive relationships. Relationships that are more long-term such as domestic relationships or in work environments. Angela Lansbury was in a great movie when she was about 20 that demonstrated this phenomenon. Her character's husband was messing with the gas lighting in the home and doing other things to "mess with her head" so he could convince her she was crazy. This way he had power over her and could get what he wanted. It was an excellent movie.

Here is some more information on the phenomenon What is gaslighting

Has anyone else noticed how this term is being misused? Using it frivolously diminishes the reality of legitimate victims of abuse. This is something I've been chewing on. I'm curious what others think.

 

[Redbaron]

The word does seem to be bandied about rather freely recently, (maybe the last 43 years or so?). I'd never heard it before then. I do sort of have a hunch that those who throw the word around loosely are, themselves, those who practice it.

 

[Northwind]

The word does seem to be bandied about rather freely recently, (maybe the last 43 years or so?). I'd never heard it before then. I do sort of have a hunch that those who throw the word around loosely are, themselves, those who practice it.

That's my view in some cases.

 

[JayneWonders]

The word does seem to be bandied about rather freely recently, (maybe the last 43 years or so?). I'd never heard it before then. I do sort of have a hunch that those who throw the word around loosely are, themselves, those who practice it.

43? Years?

 

[Redbaron]

43? Years?

Oops. Small keys, big fingers. Should be 3 years.

 

[Kimmio Laughterlove]

Well I’ve perhaps used it to loosely. But political bait n’ switches and what I see going on with Bill C7 vis-à-vie the public and messaging around it, is in my opinion, certainly, gaslighting.

 

[Northwind]

There probably is an argument for that @Kimmio Laughterlove. A power position silencing those with less power. There may be better words but this one might work

 

[Carolla]

That's an excellent article you linked @Northwind. And yes - that Hitchcock movie ... chilling!! I remember it well.

Language labels do seem to cycle through - I've seen a number of psychiatric terms come into common vernacular - usually incorrectly which is unfortunate. I agree that such uses generally do diminish the real struggles of those who experience certain phenomena or mental health issues.

I haven't really seen gaslighting used too much here, but i don't read all the threads.

 

[Northwind]

I've seen a number of psychiatric terms come into common vernacular - usually incorrectly which is unfortunate. I agree that such uses generally do diminish the real struggles of those who experience certain phenomena or mental health issues.

Yes some words should never be used lightly.

 

[chansen]

I've seen a number of psychiatric terms come into common vernacular - usually incorrectly which is unfortunate. I agree that such uses generally do diminish the real struggles of those who experience certain phenomena or mental health issues.

I really wanted to make a joke here, but instead I'll just point out that I didn't and alert you all to my impressive personal growth.

 

[Northwind]

I really wanted to make a joke here, but instead I'll just point out that I didn't and alert you all to my impressive personal growth.

Well done.

Do you have any thoughts on the topic?

 

[chansen]

I think people who misuse psychiatric terms are schizophrenic.

 

[Northwind]

I think people who misuse psychiatric terms are schizophrenic.

Um, I realize you're making a joke. That's a poor way to use that word.

 

[BetteTheRed]

Interestingly enough, or not, another term that has become more in the common vernacular in the last few years (thus cleverly avoiding the fat finger problem of the distance between 3 and 4) is "narcissist". Perhaps all of these newly identified narcissists are doing all of this extra gaslighting?

 

[Northwind]

Narcissist and gaslighting do go hand in hand. Legitimate narcissists do use gaslighting techniques. We've seen that.

Do we call the person we don't like a narcissist merely because we don't like them or because they actually fit the criteria listed in the DSM?

 

[chansen]

Um, I realize you're making a joke. That's a poor way to use that word.

You can't give me a second chance at a joke. It's like waving a red cape at a bull.

"Gaslighting" was an obscure reference until it was popularized and then overpopularized and applied to things like lies in general.

I still think it applies when there is a concerted effort to use repetition and other forms of manipulation to have someone question their recollection. That's just relatively rare.

 

[BetteTheRed]

Do we call the person we don't like a narcissist merely because we don't like them or because they actually fit the criteria listed in the DSM?

Agreed. And that's why terms like gaslighting and narcissist should be limited largely to clinical diagnoses.

Although I also agree that some populations like to suppress the narrative of other populations. Men versus women, sometimes. Colonizer versus indigenous, often. Abled versus disabled, regularly.

 

[ChemGal]

There are different forms. Something like a romantic partner is going to be more of a clear abusive long term pattern than others.

With something like medical gaslighting often times a medical professional is trying to help but is setting up a a poor dynamic.

As an example I had a receptionist not allow me to make an appointment with my GP. I had managed to get one set up by Chemguy calling for me. The day I was told I had metastatic cancer I called the clinic to ensure my GP would see my ultrasound report before my appointment as it often was an issue where my GP wouldn't have the results accessible that I wanted to talk about. Hours later I had a phonecall to cancel my upcoming appointment. Pre-ultrasound but after some follow up was being done the receptionist insisted all my test results were normal (she shouldn't even have access).

Was she purposefully being abusive? Probably not. She probably looked at how many times I had been in the clinic for various things. She did a poor job in her position in general, it wasn't just me who had issues. Even if her intent wasn't to have patients question their sanity, the information they do know her actions are a form of what is commonly accepted as medical gaslighting.

 

[ChemGal]

Agreed. And that's why terms like gaslighting and narcissist should be limited largely to clinical diagnoses.

Although I also agree that some populations like to suppress the narrative of other populations. Men versus women, sometimes. Colonizer versus indigenous, often. Abled versus disabled, regularly.

Gaslighting isn't a diagnosis though, it's a behaviour. Someone with narcissistic personality disorder may be more likely to use the behaviour but anyone can gaslight, no diagnosis necessary.

 

[Northwind]

Gaslighting isn't a diagnosis though, it's a behaviour. Someone with narcissistic personality disorder may be more likely to use the behaviour but anyone can gaslight, no diagnosis necessary.

Did you read the article. I don't think gaslighting is what you think it is.