Four years ago I was in the doctor's office where I learned I had breast cancer for sure. Of course I already knew it because what else would it be? I mean really. I've been feeling it today for some reason.
I had bought the pink ribbon message that breast cancer was the "good" cancer and that it was curable. I had no idea what was in store for me
These past four years have not gone as planned when I retired in August 2018. We thought we'd be travelling around in our fifth wheel, exploring Canada. Life or the universe or whatever had other plans.
I say that I've gotten the full meal deal plus dessert. I was diagnosed as metastatic a few months later so dessert is medications I will take forever. I live my life as a person who happens to have been diagnosed with cancer. I don't live as a cancer patient. Cancer does not define me. It does though, have an impact.
When I hear people say that they will be doing _________ in five or ten years, I wonder if I will be around then. I hope so. I'm not counting on it though. One day at a time.
I find myself resentful of people who have "quick" and short cancer episodes. People who are declared clear and free and able to move past cancer. I am happy for them and sad that likely won't be my story. I find hope in hearing of new treatments such as this A Triumph of Experimental Medicine. I know I'm benefitting from research and medication that wasn't there short years ago.
I imagine people figure cancer is behind me. It's not. It's in a holding pattern waiting to strike later. In some way, it's good that I know what I'm dealing with. People who have experienced lower stages of cancer have some fear it will return. Considering 1 in 3 women who are diagnosed with breast cancer will be metastatic there is some validity for that concern.
So this day will pass. I'm thankful for a mundane Valentines Day that included time with friends and some summer planning. Hopefully I can write something like this in four years
I had bought the pink ribbon message that breast cancer was the "good" cancer and that it was curable. I had no idea what was in store for me
These past four years have not gone as planned when I retired in August 2018. We thought we'd be travelling around in our fifth wheel, exploring Canada. Life or the universe or whatever had other plans.
I say that I've gotten the full meal deal plus dessert. I was diagnosed as metastatic a few months later so dessert is medications I will take forever. I live my life as a person who happens to have been diagnosed with cancer. I don't live as a cancer patient. Cancer does not define me. It does though, have an impact.
When I hear people say that they will be doing _________ in five or ten years, I wonder if I will be around then. I hope so. I'm not counting on it though. One day at a time.
I find myself resentful of people who have "quick" and short cancer episodes. People who are declared clear and free and able to move past cancer. I am happy for them and sad that likely won't be my story. I find hope in hearing of new treatments such as this A Triumph of Experimental Medicine. I know I'm benefitting from research and medication that wasn't there short years ago.
I imagine people figure cancer is behind me. It's not. It's in a holding pattern waiting to strike later. In some way, it's good that I know what I'm dealing with. People who have experienced lower stages of cancer have some fear it will return. Considering 1 in 3 women who are diagnosed with breast cancer will be metastatic there is some validity for that concern.
So this day will pass. I'm thankful for a mundane Valentines Day that included time with friends and some summer planning. Hopefully I can write something like this in four years
