Exit Interviews

[GO3838]

Most congregations do not ask because if they learned about a specific problem, they might feel pressured to do something about it and that would probably include a confrontation.

Agreed, but not necessarily. If a member is leaving over a specific reason, I think in most cases it would be inappropriate to share that reason with the entire congregation. (Would lead to confrontation.)
However, if a trusted minister or a trusted elder were to ask the individual: "Is there something that happened that perhaps we could learn from?" then perhaps the person would like to talk about the incident and move forward.

I remember once when my son was 6 and was having trouble sitting still during a service, I took him out into the narthex so he wouldn't disturb the sermon. A man sitting in the pews followed us out into the narthex, and yelled at my son and told him he was not a child of God. My son was so startled he was crying his eyes out, and I wanted too as well. This man should have stayed in the pew and listened to the sermon and mind his own business, and let me handle my son. I did let that church's youth and families minister know what had happened, though. She said that was absolutely unacceptable. I don't know what the follow-up was, if any. But I was glad I had spoken up. (And I was especially glad that church was not our regular church - we were attending a multi-church service at a neighbouring church.) But maybe the info was shared discreetly with the ministry team.

 

[Luce NDs]

Are exit interviews the trial imposed on souls when escaping real life into the abstract complexity called heaven?

The door keeper maybe called St Pieter ... an amine salt that can resolve passionate trends but may also cause explosive events ... imagine old salts created artificially by cooking pig waste ... enough to cause rejection of violent nature ...

If in it you may not survive to know it ... have a good story on reason at hand ... that old creep doesn't like unreason and high level irrationality ... de mos*rejected lies! Gođđe it?

Then goth is like dark and mysterious as in Avant or initiate, inductee, or other poor character sucked in by old crap ... when the Lord of the Land was looking for something fresh ... thus mountain things ... like Shenandoah ... and fresh noodling ... Gene va's? Jean de Arche ... Dear Chez ... looking ...

 

[wrdwrytr]

I was a church administrator. I worked for 8 years as a temporary fill in when the administrator was away or ill. When she retired I applied and was hired as the administrator. I remained in the position for 22 years. I gave almost a year's notice when I retired. I had an exit interview with members of the M&P committee. I should note I was also a member of the church as well. The interview gave all of us a chance to look back at the years and discuss the various events, people, changes, positive and negative things that occurred. I pointed out what worked well and what didn't. I had a chance to express my feelings (good and not so great) about everything. As you can imagine, working with 6 different ministers as well as numerous staff (children & youth people, custodians, music directors, pastoral visitors), it was an experience. Our congregation was a mix of rural, small town, urban retirees and a large number of retired clergy. I appreciated what the M&P committee had to say about my job performance and the time they took to listen to my thoughts. I would say that an exit interview is very helpful for the person leaving and for the people who remain. If there are issues due to major conflicts, it is important to deal with them. I know it is not always possible for a staff person who leaves due to a conflict to be able to attend this type of interview. I think it is imperative that the M&P committee take the time to discuss and resolve any conflict issues before hiring someone else.

 

[Mendalla]

I was a church administrator. I worked for 8 years as a temporary fill in when the administrator was away or ill. When she retired I applied and was hired as the administrator. I remained in the position for 22 years. I gave almost a year's notice when I retired. I had an exit interview with members of the M&P committee. I should note I was also a member of the church as well. The interview gave all of us a chance to look back at the years and discuss the various events, people, changes, positive and negative things that occurred. I pointed out what worked well and what didn't. I had a chance to express my feelings (good and not so great) about everything. As you can imagine, working with 6 different ministers as well as numerous staff (children & youth people, custodians, music directors, pastoral visitors), it was an experience. Our congregation was a mix of rural, small town, urban retirees and a large number of retired clergy. I appreciated what the M&P committee had to say about my job performance and the time they took to listen to my thoughts. I would say that an exit interview is very helpful for the person leaving and for the people who remain. If there are issues due to major conflicts, it is important to deal with them. I know it is not always possible for a staff person who leaves due to a conflict to be able to attend this type of interview. I think it is imperative that the M&P committee take the time to discuss and resolve any conflict issues before hiring someone else.

I always worry when staff of a church are also members. There's some risk of expectations being placed on them that might be placed on an "outsider". That said, it seemed to work for my mother (worked for our family church for about a decade under two very different ministers and probably would have continued longer had she not passed away) and you. Sounds like you had a good, supportive M&P which would be crucial for this to be successful.

 

[BetteTheRed]

We've had a couple of church admins who have been members. One was a bit of a terrible secretary, but the long-time minister and she got along perfectly, so we lived with it and she retired happily, quite late in life, dying just a few years after she retired. Another voluntarily went above and beyond, which would have been fine if it hadn't made his wife so angry, so that didn't end well.

It certainly helps if most staff understand the United Church general ethos, and understand approximately where on the continuum of more conservative to more liberal their particular congregation sits.

 

[Mendalla]

It certainly helps if most staff understand the United Church general ethos, and understand approximately where on the continuum of more conservative to more liberal their particular congregation sits.

This. The UU fellowship's office manager isn't a member (or wasn't, maybe she's since joined) but was quite in line with our values and her daughter was an active member for a time.

 

[Luce NDs]

Conservative with Literal mixes ... defines chaos and complexity to be placed in order from a great mix-up ...

There are infinite parallels ... resembling metaphors as laid out in word ... human gods did it under the script: "if we are Gods let us behave as Gods and this Eris in flames"!

The number of conflicts are countless ... some counts are deficient on particular parameters ... oddly enough!

Now is normal crazy, or the abnormal insane ... and una WOKE to the virtue? The things that we should understand are extensive and out there as often suffering exorcism (not in our field of intellect)! It is a trial that is trying for those without patience for what is latent ... or otherwise follows reason ... Druid out?