Coronavirus and our shadow

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PilgrimsProgress

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The Swiss psychiatrist C.G. Jung wrote about our shadow - the side of us all that is often hidden from ourselves.....
When this is in evidence, we tend to project all our unwanted feelings and action on to others.

I've noticed since the advent of this virus that we all seem aware when others are 'doing the wrong thing' - but what about ourselves? (Those awful people buying too much toilet paper, ignoring social isolation and going to the beach etc.)

I feel very stressed with this virus thingie -and I've noticed a change in my behaviour.
I am buying much more at the shops than I generally do. Instead of smiling at folks on my walk I look at them in a similar way to how folks treated lepers in Jesus's day. -feeling irritated when they come to close.

Are we in danger of losing our humanity? Do we show in our behaviour that we are just concerned with "me and mine"?
What would Jesus do?

I'm aware, of course, that we also show altruistic behaviour - but do others feel a little uneasy when we show our shadow side?
 

BetteTheRed

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I find people make me feel guilty about my "shadow side". I think I find the frequent "thank yous: the most difficult.

I am a front-line worker right now. I'm part-time, I could, with no reason, say I'm not available for the next X weeks. I'm over 60. I would really like to buy two dozen cans of beans, some KD and a pile of flour and say "lucy and I will see you on the other side!"
 

Ritafee

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but do others feel a little uneasy when we show our shadow side?
I do sometimes feel kind of uneasy when others show their shadow side ...

But what if I should discover that the least amongst them all, the poorest of all beggars, the most impudent of all offenders, yeah, the very fiend himself, that these are within me, and that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness, that I myself am the enemy who must be loved. What then? (Jung)

It is only when you have seen and accepted your own capacity for fear, shame, and judgment that you can truly see the other for what she or he is. Without this acceptance we avoid parts of the other, simply because we are reminded of these in ourselves. And thus, no true connection, nor genuine compassion, can arise. (Martijn Schirp)
 
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This dynamic is working inadvertently and phenomenally (i don’t mean in a good way but that it’s almost an ordained phenomenon) in my own life when it comes to who ‘can’ work and who ‘can’ pay the rent, who needs and doesn’t need, rather than wants. As it turns out we got on my roommate’s case about social distancing and about going out visiting her friend who lives at the university, and about bringing friends into the house (told her she couldn’t then she brought her best friend in...briefly but this is a small space and the household breathes the same air). All my household and my family are now only limiting ourselves to one or two shops in the neighbourhood, minimally, except her. She’s travelling around town the furthest.

My landlady (step sil) doesn’t really work. Renting this suite is her income (my step brother has a good job he’s off from, and retiring early, soon). ...my roommate doesn’t communicate anything about her life with anyone over 22 I don’t think...I’ve strained some details out of her but it’s a painful effort...she’s not exactly forthcoming with information... so today we find out she quit her job at a fast food drive through to stay home. She was going to move out at the end of April and had a trip to NY planned that she saved for...but that’s not happening. I agreed to my landlords to extend her lease (even though it’s the most awkward living arrangement for me ever) because she would be stuck and I was concerned. Her family lives abroad...closest family here is in the interior. This was before eviction freezes. If she can’t pay the rent in April then that’s kind of our fault for hammering home the social distancing thing... I don’t know if she qualifies for relief but my landlady probably does, and in BC rent relief goes to landlords directly.

People here are freaking out about Gen Z and millennials being asymtomatic carriers and “not getting it” - this place has long been coined “home of the newlyweds and nearly deads” (ever since I can remember) and demographically it hasn’t changed much. So...here it’s mostly young people working to provide the food and groceries and goods that everyone is buying. They cannot social distance very easily. It’s hypocritical to then be upset that they’re not and/ or might not afford the rent if they’re expected to be really disciplined about it.

Ironically, my step sil is using the rent to help her daughters who are students...and I just found out we ordered food from the restaurant one of them works at (I didn’t know). My roommate and I split the bill...so we pay rent for her and we bought food that supports her paycheque. The irony, huh?
 
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People are feeling stuck and sort of looking to blame someone...at least that’s the dynamic in my life with me as well as family...and it’s all kind of karmic, i’m finding.
 

Mrs.Anteater

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The Swiss psychiatrist C.G. Jung wrote about our shadow - the side of us all that is often hidden from ourselves.....
When this is in evidence, we tend to project all our unwanted feelings and action on to others.

I've noticed since the advent of this virus that we all seem aware when others are 'doing the wrong thing' - but what about ourselves? (Those awful people buying too much toilet paper, ignoring social isolation and going to the beach etc.)

I feel very stressed with this virus thingie -and I've noticed a change in my behaviour.
I am buying much more at the shops than I generally do. Instead of smiling at folks on my walk I look at them in a similar way to how folks treated lepers in Jesus's day. -feeling irritated when they come to close.

Are we in danger of losing our humanity? Do we show in our behaviour that we are just concerned with "me and mine"?
What would Jesus do?

I'm aware, of course, that we also show altruistic behaviour - but do others feel a little uneasy when we show our shadow side?
I have never compared myself to Jesus, nor will that ever happen. I suppose I know myself too well.
This topic is an interesting one. Last week, we were told we ( Rehab staff) will have to work on the Covid Unit. I consider myself part of the at risk population, still feel I have not completely recovered from my surgery in November in terms of physical fitness, I am close to 60 and I have sleep apnea. I felt very much like “, please let this cup pass me”. I am also the one in charge of our lotto pool and last Friday it was 70 Mio. We didn’t win, of course, but there was the thought- if we had- would any of us five still work on a Covid Unit?
Before Covid, most of us had the feeling we would keep working a little bit until our replacements were lined up.

Now, we got the news on Friday, that for now, they will keep Rehab staff out of the unit as much as possible- which does make sense considering that those patients are likely too sick to mobilize and still very far away from going home. So, we are likely the back up for when staff is getting short.
 

Luce NDs

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God; whether the mysterious dark order, or the illuminating perfection are beyond us as imperfect. If we only accepted how little we know and be gently curious and gently giving ... it might assist. Some share too much and especially if difficult on the learning curve ... they put themselves in a position to be cannibalized completely. I raise great queries about the enigma that presents as mystery ... yet unseen!

But that is just my position as I creep along ...
 

Lastpointe

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Got this from a friend. Thought this was good advice so passing IT on
1) Accept your new reality
Rather than just focusing on what you have lost or the disruption to your life, make a choice to go with the flow and adapt to your new reality. Ask yourself, how can I make the most of the new situation I am in?
2) Make a plan
Make a plan for each day as well as each week. Set a couple of goals you want to achieve each day and a couple of things you would like to have done by the end of each week.
3) Keep a good routine
Just because you are at home self-isolating, don’t give up on a normal routine. Get up at the normal time, and get dressed in the normal way and set regular times for meals, work periods and leisure times.
4) Include some exercise in your day
If you can, make sure to get out for a walk or a run. A bit of fresh air and exercise will make all the difference. If stuck indoors, focus on doing indoor bouts of exercise, such as press-ups or squats or yoga stretches. Take a moment to stand at an open window or on a balcony to breathe.
5) Make the most of mealtimes
You probably now have to cook more. Make the most of these times. Try to enjoy the challenge of cooking healthy meals. Are there new recipes you want to try?
6) Plan some time for leisure
Plan something fun and interesting each day. This could be as simple as reading a favourite book, playing music, cooking a new meal, doing a crossword, starting an online class (there are lots of these now), listening to an podcast, or watching a boxset.
7) Reach out to people
Make sure to phone/ video call someone important in your life. Use all the benefits of social media to keep in touch with friends.
8) Alternate your tasks
Divide the day into manageable units of time (eg, 30 mins) and allocate your daily tasks. For example, you might alternate between meditation/yoga (one unit), breakfast (one unit), work (five units), reading a book (two units), phoning your mother (one unit), going for a walk (one unit) etc.
9) Say hello to neighbours
When going out to the shop, be polite and warm with shop assistants and say hello to neighbours from a safe distance. Even simple chats with strangers can boost your mood.
10) Think about how you can help someone
In crises it is the people who help others who cope the best. Ring an elderly neighbour or a front-line worker to see if they need anything when you go shopping.
11) Watch your mental health
Notice early if it is all getting too much for you. If you find yourself getting depressed or anxious reach out for support from friends, family or access the sources of help online or on the phone. Be gentle on yourself and realise that hard times will pass.
12) Accept your feelings
Accept that you are likely to have good days and bad days. Some days you are going to feel fed up, frustrated, anxious or depressed. Listen to and accept your feelings. Remember that you are not alone.
13) Limit news and social media streams
While keeping up with the news is important, avoid over-exposure or obsessive tracking of news coverage which can leave you depressed or anxious. Make a routine of only checking at certain times.

14) Keep a journal
Keep a journal each evening. Take a break from the screens and use a pen to write and reflect about your experiences each day. The simple act of writing can help you put your experiences into context and can be enormously satisfying.
15) Practise gratitude
Each evening take a moment to note something good that happened that day that you are grateful. This could be as simple as a pleasant chat with a colleague, friend or neighbour. Write about the things you are grateful for in your daily journal.
16) Focus on silver linings
As well as the challenges, focus on the “silver linings” of self-isolation. What is good about what is happening? What are the opportunities? Perhaps it has provided you with time to slow down or to learn and do new things.
– Dr John Sharry is co-founder of the Parents Plus Charity and clinical director at Silver Cloud Health. See silvercloudhealth.com and solutiontalk.ie.



 

Luce NDs

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Maintain Routine?

Did that ever happen? Murphy just couldn't deal with it that way ... too much happens by chance right!
 

PilgrimsProgress

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I think the whole world is experiencing grief......

All around me I see denial, anger, bargaining, etc - but we have yet to get to acceptance. Acceptance that the life we knew is no longer the same.

So how do we move closer to acceptance?

Perhaps by firstly accepting that, not only ourselves, but everyone, is grieving.
Acknowledge that we ourselves have a shadow side when it comes to behaving badly. This can lead us to understanding why others are behaving badly - we are all grieving.
 

Lastpointe

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I see the opposite. So far. I see generosity, friendliness, helpfulness

i see people being fairly comfortable with new rules. Not all people and not all the rules. It better than I thought we might see

i see our politicians for the most part working together. A couple of glitches, like the power grab that got stopped

and I wonder at some of the strange new rules. I believe it was today but maybe yesterday, Trudeau said ill people will no longer be able to fly domestically or take the train. What! Who knew that sick people were still getting on airplanes. Honestly I didn’t even think people were flying. Flying, cruises. I think it will take some time for people to feel comfortable again

everyone I pass smiles. Now, in all honesty, I always say hi to everyone I pass, unless it’s a wildly crowded road. But now people are often saying it first and that seldom happened before
 

GeoFee

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Could it be that we are now infected by our shadow? Jung speaks of repression as the root of neurosis. He notices that our Western culture has caused many to repress anxiety and fear. That large scale repression leading to a growing mass neurosis, which will bring unwelcome consequence.

Science tells us about cause and effect. Yet we imagine that our careless pollution of air and water is of no consequence. Through all generations human being has crossed natural boundaries and provoked natural response.

Nature will not put up with our diverse desecrations. She will push back. We are well advised to prepare for increasing challenge to our way of life. That challenge offering opportunity to re-examine our personal and collective priorities and commitments.

I am spirt inhabiting matter. If I fail to treat matter (my body) with respect it will suffer harm (diseases). If I turn from disrespect to respect, matter will be remedied and renewed.

We are at a crossroads and must make a decision regarding our next steps. Moses presents this as a choice between the way of life and the way of death. He wonders why any would choose the way of death.
 
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This isolation is much easier to manage for well to do families who can make a plan together and are not going without anything and can be comfortable, than for those who are low income, and live alone or with people not on the same page. I am being chippety-dipper out there when I pass people but I know when I am alone and when I get home from my every other day errand, that this really sucks and I'm not happy.
 
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I can use the backyard. It's huge. This is a smallish-med house (3 bedrooms upstairs with added sunroom) on a double lot. But...it's raining now. I'd still be back there alone.
 

PilgrimsProgress

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I meant for this thread for folks to look inward, rather than outward........
Not so much how others are behaving, but how are you behaving?

Are you feeling more irritated than usual, losing your temper more, shopping more than you have to, hoarding?

A bit of candid self-reflection - if you find it difficult, ask others in the household how they see you behaving?

I'm more bored, getting fed up with communicating on the phone, feeling more easily irritated, and , whilst not hoarding, are shopping more than I normally do for groceries..

And yes, I see many examples of myself (and others) acting with compassion.
 

GeoFee

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Could it be that we are now infected by our shadow? Jung speaks of repression as the root of neurosis. He notices that our Western culture has caused many to repress anxiety and fear. That large scale repression leading to a growing mass neurosis, which will bring unwelcome consequence.

Science tells us about cause and effect. Yet we imagine that our careless pollution of air and water is of no consequence. Through all generations human being has crossed natural boundaries and provoked natural response.

Nature will not put up with our diverse desecrations. She will push back. We are well advised to prepare for increasing challenge to our way of life. That challenge offering opportunity to re-examine our personal and collective priorities and commitments.

I am spirt inhabiting matter. If I fail to treat matter (my body) with respect it will suffer harm (diseases). If I turn from disrespect to respect, matter will be remedied and renewed.

We are at a crossroads and must make a decision regarding our next steps. Moses presents this as a choice between the way of life and the way of death. He wonders why any would choose the way of death.
I am not intending to say each is personally responsible for any occupancies of disease. It is our collective decisions and determinations that bring random manifestations of disease. Our pollution of water and air causes some to experience cancer.
 
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I meant for this thread for folks to look inward, rather than outward........
Not so much how others are behaving, but how are you behaving?

Are you feeling more irritated than usual, losing your temper more, shopping more than you have to, hoarding?

A bit of candid self-reflection - if you find it difficult, ask others in the household how they see you behaving?

I'm more bored, getting fed up with communicating on the phone, feeling more easily irritated, and , whilst not hoarding, are shopping more than I normally do for groceries..

And yes, I see many examples of myself (and others) acting with compassion.
I am a smoker...current/ recovering/ somewhere in between, regardless I'll be a nicotine addict for life. I feel really really guilty about it. Particularly at a time when we are trying to slow down a respiratory illness pandemic. And I know smokers are despised already. I have 3/4 of a pack but have been using nicorettes (that only take the edge off a bit - they are not the same for those who've never smoked please don't think that it's easy peasy to just switch)...so this guilt increases my anxiety (along with withdrawals and cravings doing the same...and feeling stuck with limited things to do and places I can be).

Yesterday I stopped in the alley behind the grocery store, nobody around, and had a smoke. A man walked around the corner. He was a good 10 ft away as he passed and smiled and said hi. I said "Hi. I'm really sorry! This is an addiction. I cut way down...almost quit!" ...he said "Don't even worry about it! We all have our monkeys on our backs these days."

(I was contemplating whether or not to even post about this. But there it is.)
 
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