Church-Wellesley Diary

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Pinga

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@Jae , at some point, when it is logical, maybe at the end, i am curious about this statement " This was in lieu of attending the communal morning prayer meeting which would have taken place on the organized course retreat."
Were you unable to attend the organized course retreat and so chose to do it on your own? How do you feel that impactedyour experience?
 

revsdd

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So it sounds like part of your discomfort was in thinking that any stranger seeing you in the village would assume you to be a gay man. What could it be about such an assumption that caused so much discomfort? I suppose there was also learning for you too, that geographic location does not predict sexuality, and what assumptions you yourself might have been making?
Last year I went into a women's clothing store to buy a gift for my wife. I was looking at women's tops when a sales woman came over to me and said "would you like to try that on?" I immediately became flustered and replied "Um. I'm - uh - sorry, but this isn't for me. It's - uh - it's for my wife." As liberated as we may think we are and as supportive of the gay community as we may try to be, I discovered in that moment (at least from my perspective) that straight men don't like to be thought of as anything other than straight men.
 

Jae

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So it sounds like part of your discomfort was in thinking that any stranger seeing you in the village would assume you to be a gay man. What could it be about such an assumption that caused so much discomfort?
Part of my discomfort was in feeling that it was possible that at least one gay stranger seeing me in the village would approach me thinking that I too was gay. That assumption caused discomfort because I am by nature shy, and wasn't quite sure how to handle such an occurrence.

Carolla said:
I suppose there was also learning for you too, that geographic location does not predict sexuality, and what assumptions you yourself might have been making?
Yep.
 

Jae

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So you're saying you have lots of experience dealing with people who flirt with you - wouldn't the same response strategies apply regardless of who is doing the flirting? If not, what would be making the difference in how you respond to people?
No, I'm not saying that I have lots of experience Carolla. I'm saying that I have a reasonable amount - don't we all. I'm not sure if the same response strategies apply regardless of who is doing the flirting. Really, honestly, I just don't know. For one thing, I enjoy it to some degree when women flirt with me in real life. I'm sure most straight guys do.
 

Jae

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@Jae , at some point, when it is logical, maybe at the end, i am curious about this statement " This was in lieu of attending the communal morning prayer meeting which would have taken place on the organized course retreat."
Were you unable to attend the organized course retreat and so chose to do it on your own? How do you feel that impactedyour experience?
The professor of the course gave each of us his students the choice of attending an organized retreat he had set up (at Queen of Apostles Renewal Center), or of going on an individual retreat guided by the book "Renew" by Dr. David Sherbino. I was able to attend the organized retreat, but chose to do an individual retreat anyway. I had previously done an organized group retreat for a different course from the same school. I would say that the major difference between the two retreats was that the group one offered more social time spent with others. I missed that in some ways on this individual retreat, but doing a retreat alone offers advantages - such as, in my experience, more intimate time spent with God, plus I felt more free on this retreat as I didn't have to absolutely be at certain places or doing certain things at certain times. Near the end of my retreat, I did plan for a group activity - but I'll share about that a bit later in the thread.

 

Jae

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Saturday, March 11, 11:15 a.m.

§ Did the spiritual exercise of lectio Divina.



§ --- Read the passage Luke 1:1-4 using the practice of holy reading.

§ ----- The words that God brought to my attention were these – “you, most excellent Theophilus,” – Luke 1:3b

§ ----- Reflected on Dr. Luke’s desire to include his friend Theophilus in hearing the Good News


§ ----- Prayed that God would make me more like Dr. Luke in sharing Good News with others

§ ----- Thanked God for giving me the desire to share Christ with others, and for the opportunities in which I have shared the Good News (mostly in preaching).

§ ----- Noted that Dr. Luke is so complimentary to Theophilus whereas I sometimes am encouraging to people but at times am too critical of others. Prayed that God will help me in being less the latter.

§ ----- Also reflected on the words "orderly account" - Luke 1:3b. As I did so, the Spirit of God helped me to understand that because of personality it may be important for some people to have an orderly account of things. Help me to appreciate people with gifts in administration more.

§ ----- Gave thanks to God that I am “most excellent” in Jesus’ eyes (as I believe we all are). Prayed that God would help me to always see others as being “most excellent” too.
 

Jae

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Saturday, March 11, 11:15 a.m.

11:35 a.m.

§ Washed dishes.

11:45 a.m.

§ Reviewed my life. Took some time to think about my life & markers in my journey as well as people who have been a major influence in your life.

Childhood, 1-12

o Family

§ ----- Parents

§ ----- Siblings

§ ----- Extended

-------------- Favorite aunt

-------------- Grandmother

-------------- Favorite uncle

o mid-sized United Church, Fredericton

----- Paedobaptized

o mid-sized United Church, Toronto

----- Senior Minister

----- Assistant Minister

----- Favorite Sunday School Teacher

----- Akela

----- Piano Teacher

o Taking Grades 3 and 4 together in one year in public school


o Going into Advancement Program

§ How much I wanted to take the bus like my oldest sister

§ Went from being one of the most popular kids to not really knowing anyone

Grade 5 school

o Teacher

Grade 6-8 school

o Teachers

o Friends

§ Adolescence, 13-17 – mid-sized United Church, Toronto

o Spending a lot of time alone in high school


§ Being asked if I was a Christian by someone – I said yes but I really wasn’t.

§ Developing epilepsy

§ Being denied by Mom to work at camp

§ Working at three other camps

----- Worked for a while for manager and chef of one of the camps at their deli-cafe

§ Given the first chance to preach – in northern New Brunswick – Thanksgiving

§ Watched a lot of TV. Discovered a real love for that.

· Writing, dialogue, and so on.

· Young adulthood, 18-35 – mid-sized Baptist church, Toronto

§ Radio Broadcasting diploma at college

----- Teachers

§ Worked in radio three months then pfft.

§ Started university – UNB – online, the UWaterloo, Langara College, Prairie Bible Institute – all by distance

§ friends

§ Became a Christian

§ Baptized in Baptist Church

· Midlife, 35-65 – mid-sized Baptist church, small Baptist church, very-small Baptist church

§ Christian University-College

BRE in General Ministries

§ Seminary

§ Got married – first-ever girlfriend

§ Got stepsons

§ school friends

§ Preaching continues

§ First had Christian Counseling

§ First had Spiritual Direction

§ owned convenience store - Hamilton

§ convenience store – Elk Point

§ Food service company

----- Factory unit

----- bank unit

----- government unit


o What are the insights you have gained about your life?

§ A lot of education

§ Various ministries

§ Always been helpful people along the way

§ Having to deal with physical challenge many others have not had to.

§ Developing later in life than many other people in terms of friends, dating, marriage, vocation

---> Offered all this to God in prayer.
 

Jae

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Saturday, March 11, 2017...

12:30 p.m.


§ Rested

2 p.m.

§ Spent some time to answer a few ministry-related emails

----- Apologized to God afterwards – I cut into our time apart by doing that. Perhaps I checked my email as I had spent time apart from socializing – lacking community with others save God. It’s like saying that God is not enough – but on the other hand he created me for community. Still, I should be able to spend a time with him alone. This shows a need for more spiritual maturity I would say.

3:15 p.m.

§ Spent time in the spiritual exercise of Silence & solitude. Went outside. Used this period of silent reflection to be quiet & to listen to God. Tried to listen to God through creation as well as to listen to him speak through my thoughts where I hear the whisper of God’s voice. Offered my thoughts as I walked to God. Primarily, I was thinking about how God's creation is evident even in the city. However, I also reflected on how we humans tend to be poor stewards of his creation.

§ Walked to McDonald’s for supper.
 

Luce NDs

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How can one exclude others except god when God is the ALL or everything to everybody even those that don't know this by profession of denial of parts? De onyx ation and darkening of the roasted ... by choice?

As in Icarus don't get too close ... or your lightweight nature will be blow 'da way ... sort of like a dusting by times ...
 

Jae

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How can one exclude others except god when God is the ALL or everything to everybody even those that don't know this by profession of denial of parts? De onyx ation and darkening of the roasted ... by choice?

As in Icarus don't get too close ... or your lightweight nature will be blow 'da way ... sort of like a dusting by times ...
Thanks for ylur question Luce. To be clear, I wanna personal spiritual retreat with the Lord my God. That said, there were certainly rheostat made contact with during this time. This will be reflected Lloyd the mores my diary continues.
 

Luce NDs

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Rheostats work with resistance ... there are Nous-Eire things ... many Christians are very resistant to fresh light ...

It floes like a river of flames ... stix ... etc. as containing the Zea for summing up the integral when you gather ...
 

Jae

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Rheostats work with resistance ... there are Nous-Eire things ... many Christians are very resistant to fresh light ...

It floes like a river of flames ... stix ... etc. as containing the Zea for summing up the integral when you gather ...
Resistant to flesh light? Such causation. For your formation yours, the reason behind my retreat was to seek freshlight.
 

revsdd

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Jae, one request. I am enjoying your diary - I'm interested in what sort of insight you're gaining from it. But please don't get into this annoying back and forth game you sometimes play with Luce. If you're going to post something then please post normally. On the other hand, if you want to turn this thread into an exchange of babble between the two of you, then I'm out. Enjoy yourselves.
 

Jae

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Jae, one request. I am enjoying your diary - I'm interested in what sort of insight you're gaining from it. But please don't get into this annoying back and forth game you sometimes play with Luce. If you're going to post something then please post normally. On the other hand, if you want to turn this thread into an exchange of babble between the two of you, then I'm out. Enjoy yourselves.
Okay Steven, I don't mind going back to the normal style of posting. Thank you for the compliments regarding my attempt at a retreat diary.
 

Jae

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Saturday, March 11, 4:30 p.m...

§ Ate supper at McDonald’s. (country chicken sandwich, fries, coke/rootbeer)

--- Took a window seat, looking out onto the street and into the neighborhood.
--- Thought, 'What a funny thing, me staying in the Church-Wellesley Village......... You know... these gay people aren't so bad I guess... they're not the monsters they're usually spoken of... they're not pedophiles and rapists... I bet most of them aren't more promiscuous than most straight people... most of them probably want to be good to their partners, raise their families if they have them, and be good moral citizens.'

§ Left McDonald's, stopped by Dollar Store in search of food supplies. Purchased a can of ravioli, a can of lasagna, and a can opener.

§ Walked to Victoria’s Mansion.
 

Luce NDs

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Saturday, March 11, 4:30 p.m...

§ Ate supper at McDonald’s. (country chicken sandwich, fries, coke/rootbeer)

--- Took a window seat, looking out onto the street and into the neighborhood.
--- Thought, 'What a funny thing, me staying in the Church-Wellesley Village......... You know... these gay people aren't so bad I guess... they're not the monsters they're usually spoken of... they're not pedophiles and rapists... I bet most of them aren't more promiscuous than most straight people... most of them probably want to be good to their partners, raise their families if they have them, and be good moral citizens.'

§ Left McDonald's, stopped by Dollar Store in search of food supplies. Purchased a can of ravioli, a can of lasagna, and a can opener.

§ Walked to Victoria’s Mansion.
No comment ...
 
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BetteTheRed

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I have to say, Jae, that including your food choices in your diary is not an enhancing feature. Your diet, as described by you, is almost a recipe for obesity, heart disease, stroke risk and cancer...
 

Mendalla

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I have to say, Jae, that including your food choices in your diary is not an enhancing feature. Your diet, as described by you, is almost a recipe for obesity, heart disease, stroke risk and cancer...
One suspects he eats better at home when his mother and wife do most of the cooking. That said, there are better eating out options in the world.
 
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