Can You Love Someone and Not Like Them?

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I don't think Love is just a higher form of Like although we often use the word that way. Ditto for our responses using the Like button at WC2
 
paradox3 said:
I don't think Love is just a higher form of Like although we often use the word that way. Ditto for our responses using the Like button at WC2
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So when you say you love someone, but dont like them what would it mean for you?
 
There is an old saying about ... if you fall in love with someone ... you may lose a friend through contemplation ... thus contemptable actions!

Something to ponder ... like the myth of St George's thing on dragons ... take a stab at it!

Resembles a gambler being rairoaded ...
 
paradox3 said:
Heartache
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Thus we eat our heart out and in the open space thoughts emerge ... the emerging essence? Depends on whether this is observed subjectively or objectively from the third position beyond the core value ...

Sometime a 3rd man theme as out there ... wring on the baffling Wahl ... Field Theory? These theories can go on and on ...
 
Really good question @Waterfall. I think it is possible to love (not necessarily in the romantic sense - not sure how you were using it in your situation) without liking, but when both occur it's the best case scenario.
 
Carolla said:
Really good question @Waterfall. I think it is possible to love (not necessarily in the romantic sense - not sure how you were using it in your situation) without liking, but when both occur it's the best case scenario.
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We were talking about a family member. I said it just sounded like they didnt like them period.
I cant imagine saying it to someone's face.
 
I've come pretty close to saying it to a family member's face. And I feel exactly like that about them - love them, don't particularly like them. I must confess to having had some of the same feelings about my late mother.
 
BetteTheRed said:
I've come pretty close to saying it to a family member's face. And I feel exactly like that about them - love them, don't particularly like them. I must confess to having had some of the same feelings about my late mother.
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Hmmm, would you feel hurt? I'm getting surprised by these answers.
 
Oh, I have had (a) family member telling me they didn't much like me, not coincidentally, the one I'm not particularly fond of. If it makes any difference, they expressed the feeling first. We have never had much in common.

Christianity, it seems to me, compels us to love another, that is, work for their best interest. Nothing in that commands that we must like the other, or desire spending time with them.
 
BetteTheRed said:
Oh, I have had (a) family member telling me they didn't much like me, not coincidentally, the one I'm not particularly fond of. If it makes any difference, they expressed the feeling first. We have never had much in common.

Christianity, it seems to me, compels us to love another, that is, work for their best interest. Nothing in that commands that we must like the other, or desire spending time with them.
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But why say one loves the person but doesnt like the person. Why not just admit there's no love either? If we distance ourselves and not bother, its really nothing, isnt it?
If it wasnt a relative, would you still be friends, or would you just move on?
 
Even if it wasn't a relative, I am still obliged to "love" another, i.e. work in their best interest. I quite distinguish "love" - an action that requires I put another's needs ahead of my own, with "like" - a pleasant feeling of preferring to hang out/spend time with another.
 
I think you can love someone and not like them sometimes. Usually temporary. I guess if you can't find anything about them to like at all though, that's a different matter.
 
Very good question. I can feel with Bette about mothers. My mother was to a certain degree toxic. I would still say that I did love her, but it wasn’t as clear a feeling as when you also like someone, because one has to have contradicting feelings to protect oneself.
Over the years,I have learned to cut ties with not-related people who are too negative to be around. It takes a lot of strength and skill to set boundaries to continue friendships with those kind of people.
I get very annoyed when church people easily say things like I don’t like soandso but I love her ( out of Christian obligation). I consider love the stronger feeling, the one that helps you to hang in there.
One also has to differentiate between loving someone and not liking a certain behaviour.
Possibly a behaviour caused by addiction or mental health.
 
When encountering the disagreeable within the family circle compartmentalize it ... I felt that way about my mother too she hated science and observation as she followed a brute force with blind passion ... she hated knowledge and thus the god of sophistication was simplified ... to a spot or point!

Very uncomfortable to be in her company ... one was forced into silent and dark times ... eat, sleep, move on ... emote?
 
Mrs.Anteater said:
One also has to differentiate between loving someone and not liking a certain behaviour.
Possibly a behaviour caused by addiction or mental health.
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That's a good point, but at the same time, when someone needs help, it usually isnt the time to say you dont like them.
 
Waterfall said:
That's a good point, but at the same time, when someone needs help, it usually isnt the time to say you dont like them.
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But you're not saying you don't like the person. You're saying you don't like the addiction. Maybe there's other things you do like about them when they're not drunk or high.

And I think that's kind of where I come down. I don't know that I generally like or dislike a person, so much as things about the person. If there's enough of those, then I would probably say I dislike the person but I also likely would not fall in love with someone like that. But I can certainly be in love with someone and not like some attribute or other (Do I like everything about my wife and son? No. But I would overall say I both like and love them.). The question is, how many attributes can you dislike before you can say you dislike the person as a whole? And is that enough that you can also not love the person?
 
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