2015/09/26: Day 6 - Why the light is so necessary

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How to explain the emotions that are triggered at Juravinski. Maybe just calling it by its full name...Juravinski Cancer Centre. It doesn't shy from its name...and when you are there, it hits you.
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As T said, everyone here is sick. Not just at a hospital with an injury, or an important surgery, but...sick. It hits me when I see the handsome young man, the same age as my oldest son, walking out of the lab ahead of me with his mom & dad following him.

As the first week wears on, you no longer are startled by the baldness, or scarves and then you start to identify the number of women wearing wigs.

Your heart hurts for the parents walking or waiting with their children knowing that children are only at Juravinski for brain tumors.

You recognize the fears of those who have arrived for the first time, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, you hear the nervous laughter.

You see the mask of depression on the face of a middle-aged man, first chemo, wife there to support, but, he is only speaking briefly to questions from the nurse. Hurting, sad. alone inside himself. Gentle kindness wrapping him by nurse and wife for the moment he comes back.

You witness that gentle kindness everywhere:

Mom with daughter arrives to first diagnostic appointment, then another daughter comes in, and a bit later a third..."I thought you weren't coming". "it's too far". ..."Mom, I couldn't not be here".

Family arrives in cafe, mom, dad, 2 daughters. Dad and one daughter leave for washroom, and once gone, mom's face breaks and daughter holds her. Bad news arrived that day. Mom pulls it together before spouse and daughter returned. Strain evident in all. Gentle kindness as they held each other in this scary time.

You see it in the simple things, the people seeing you possibly lost, asking if you need directions or assistance.

You see it in the companions that walk the journey. People like J being there to listen and reflect. T travelling and setting life aside to accompany. Families present with their aging parents, The elder man whose 3 adult sons were there with him, passing the breeze between appointments.

You see it in the staff. The receptionist coming out from behind the desk to help and escort a woman nervous travelling alone to her first radiation, gently walking and chatting with her. The lab worker who wears mickey mouse pins on her lanyard, because many adults smile at Mickey.

Death, sickness, risk are in this space, but, they don't own it.

The lightness of the building's architecture compliment the staff's attitudes. I cannot describe it, and will try to unpack how the organizational structures and staff do it. Attitude? Compassion? Seeing humans not patients? I'm not sure , but, it is pervasive in the facility.

Whatever it is, it carries through, attitude is contagious. Patients and their support teams help the newbies.

The light expands. Somehow in a place full of darkness it is pushed to the corners....and in so doing, the burdens of those inside are lessened.
 
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Reflections & Comments:

(Qwerty): I always felt Juravinski was a community that demonstrated the true potential of society to transform itself and through teamwork and loving care (that's how I describe it because that is how it felt) to help people avert death and to give them time to realize their life's dreams and enjoy the fruit of their labours. It always seems to me to be one of the few places one can find that is exactly as it should be.

(CJMS): Cancer sucks. I hate every minute.

(L) A friend of mine in New Zealand lost her father not so long ago and one of the things she found most challenging was how other people reacted/interacted with her. Friends who, without realising it, said some hurtful things that were difficult for her to hear. She never said anything to them about it, but it broke my heart to hear her say that. So I shared this link with her, and she shared it on her Facebook page to help all her friends understand and support her better. This is a guide that can be used by anyone in any kind of trauma/crisis. So it's a good life tool. It was developed by a Clinical Psychologist and it helps people navigate their way through all kinds of difficult situations. Ring Theory

(me: ) Aren't these cookies full of joy? They taste pretty good too. A nice treat from GM that everyone has enjoyed. I was reminded of the circles in the article that L shared. These cookies fed T, M & K and lifted their spirits. Bowls of soup, lasagna, salad, meatball dinners, banana bread have arrived on the door. Old school caring, simple meals, good friends.
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