The Politics of Family Christmas

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Kimmio Laughterlove

:)
How would you get through a family Christmas that you've committed to if you are completely opposed to a close relatives' political views, you love them, and they like to discuss politics? But this time you just can't go there, you feel so disappointed, you dread it...100% (hint) but you know the discussion will go there. Tips?
 
Do something together that prevents talking, like : eating, watching a movie, listening to a concert, being in church, being somewhere where it is really noisy. Sleeping works, too. Playing a game you have to concentrate like chess. Go and help with the dishes, go for a walk when the conversation steers that way.
 
I zgree that you dont have to talk about politics. But neither do you get to dictate the conversation If it goes where you dont want to discuss, just talk to someone else or start the dishes.

Is it also possible that this uncle or whateve is sitting home thinking. That he is worried about having to put up with your political views?
 
Kimmio said:
How would you get through a family Christmas that you've committed to if you are completely opposed to a close relatives' political views, you love them, and they like to discuss politics? But this time you just can't go there, you feel so disappointed, you dread it...100% (hint) but you know the discussion will go there. Tips?
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Enter into dialogue with them. Maybe you'll both learn something.
 
I am thinking I should stand up for my values but it might cost me my family if I do. I can't sit there and listen to some of the stuff that goes against the core of my being though - just to be polite. It sucks. Politics always gets argued in their house at Christmas. Always always. A certain person cannot not bring it up. He has great fun stirring it up, and after some wine away we go. Harper I could grin and bear. This is different and it will be hard to laugh off - "oh silly you and your conservatism" - etc.
 
So, there's where you draw your line, Kimmio - don't listen to it - respectfully request that it not happen when everyone is captive at the actual dinner table, and hang out in another room the rest of the time?
 
Kimmio said:
I am thinking I should stand up for my values but it might cost me my family if I do. I can't sit there and listen to some of the stuff that goes against the core of my being though - just to be polite. It sucks. Politics always gets argued in their house at Christmas. Always always. A certain person cannot not bring it up. Harper I could grin and bear. This is different and it will be hard to laugh off - "oh silly you and your conservatism" - etc.
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Honestly, I don't get what the big problem is Kimmio. Let them have their say and you have yours. You need not agree, you need not argue.
 
You don't understand the environment I guess. My dad loves to debate politics at Christmas. it's what he does. I might as well just stop by, drop off some gifts and go home, otherwise. Maybe I will.
 
Jae said:
Honestly, I don't get what the big problem is Kimmio. Let them have their say and you have yours. You need not agree, you need not argue.
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SOmetimes it is not that simple...
SOmetimes people feel threatened
Sometimes there is a "see it my way or you are not part of my family" attitude conveyed
 
Kimmio said:
You don't understand the environment I guess. My dad loves to debate politics at Christmas. it's what he does. I might as well just stop by, drop off some gifts and go home, otherwise. Maybe I will.
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And maybe that's the solution. AS LONG as you make it clear beforehand the what and why of your curtailed visit. Sometimes family members need some boundaries drawn, and maybe you need to do some of it this year.
 
BetteTheRed said:
Jae, are you totally clueless about family dynamics? Or do you just pretend? The thought of you EVER offering ANYONE any sort of pastoral counselling horrifies me.
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FYI, I come from a large family and am quite familiar with how families operate. In my family we quite often share opinions - not to tear each other down but just to listen, learn and be blessed by the experience.
 
Jae said:
FYI, I come from a large family and am quite familiar with how families operate. In my family we quite often share opinions - not to tear each other down but just to listen, learn and be blessed by the experience.
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It's good that you have that dynamic. Mine, does, too mostly. But @Kimmio is not the only person I know whose family dynamic is otherwise so we cannot apply our experience to her situation.
 
possibly not so 'easy' as you suggest jae... families can be quite complicated.

Hard choices Kimmio - but I think you'll be up to finding a solution that works for you, after weighing all your options. Then just don't overthink it :)
 
In our family we can have a discussion, not agree without someone getting hurt.

If that's not possible, what about just not engaging? Let the other have their say without giving it much value yourself. If possible, do as others suggest, talk to someone else. If it's being done in the middle of dinner do what Chemguy is amazing at - tuning out. I have no clue what's running through his mind most of the time but it has nothing to do with what I'm saying until I get his attention.

Focus on the food. Try imaging what each gift is, run through the prime numbers in your head, bet in your mind on who's going to finish a particular item or drink first. Whatever silly mind game distracts you enough.

If directly asked just say you're not interested on the conversation at Christmas. Smile. Rinse and Repeat as needed. Excuse yourself to the bathroom if you need a minute.
 
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